My Fearless Magazine Tips on Re-invigorating Yourself!

We all have times in life when we feel a little “blah” about ourselves.  You aren’t necessarily unhappy, but you feel a little stale and unsure of yourself.  Your energy is low and you can’t quite put your finger on what exactly isn’t working.  No need to worry though!  Sometimes, it takes simply making minute changes to get your swagger back!  Incorporate these three tips to a better, more fulfilled you!

Get A New Look: Nothing makes you feel better and gives you a new burst of energy than changing up your look!  This time of the year is a great time to switch up your hair color or add a burst of color freshness to your wardrobe!  Live on the wild side with a new pop of color for your lips or a fiery nail design.  A lot of great and unique things are on trend this season and will add a little sizzle to your everyday look.  You’ll immediately start to feel better!

Try Something New: One of the best ways to get your ‘mojo’ back is to try something new!  Step outside of the box and get a little uncomfortable.  Take a fitness or art class.  Go to a play or take in an outdoor adventure.  The newness of the experience coupled with conquering something new will help boost your self-esteem and give you the ability to begin to see yourself in a new light!

Self-Evaluation: Learning to evaluate yourself can be quite eye-opening. You may not initially know what is stifling your progress, but taking the time to figure it out will be more beneficial than you know.  Think about your life and list the things that make you happy.  Also, list the things that aren’t making you happy or no longer benefit you and your life.  The key thing here is to let those things go.  Sometimes we hold on to things out of habit unaware that they are adding to our misery.  It may not be spring cleaning season, but it’s always the right time to get out with old and in with the new!

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Fearless Tips- Tips to Keep You From Losing Yourself!

If you’re anything like me, you overextend yourself.  You can sometimes find it difficult to say “no” and end up putting your personal issues and tasks aside to help others.  Though being the “go-to” person feels great and has it’s benefits, you may find yourself completely lifeless and emotionally drained.  You must know this: there’s a way to be there for people without completely losing yourself!  Follow these tips to

Boundaries: You must set boundaries.  Boundaries are important because they set the tone for how things are going to go, and also teach people how to treat you.  You don’t have to let people walk all over you with their requests.  Learn to be of service, but keep ridiculous demands at bay.

Just Say “No”: One of the biggest things you can do for yourself is to learn when to say “no.”  You can’t be everything to everybody and you most certainly can’t be helpful if you’re stretched too thin.  You’re going to have to be comfortable with denying some things and people and not allow the guilt of your “no” to overtake you.  

Put Your Requests First:  It’s so easy and natural to drop what you’re doing and help someone with their needs, but unless it’s an emergency, it can wait.  If you make a habit of pushing your things aside, subconsciously, you’re saying that your needs aren’t as important as everyone else’s.  Never neglect to complete your tasks.

A little “Me” Time: Whether it’s a drive alone, or a euphoric spa experience, do what you need to do to refuel yourself.  Sometimes, it may even entail meditating in a quiet space, prayer, or simply shutting off your phone for a couple of hours.   Whatever you need to relax and refuel, take the time to do it!  The better you are to yourself, the better you can be for everyone else!

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Fearless Tips- Have it all (in love) without losing yourself!!!

With “Think Like A Man” being a number one box office hit, it has many people talking.  The phenomenon began with Steve Harvey’s book and have taken the world by storm once again with it’s recent film release.  After reading the book, many women took every word to heart and coincidentally, the film highlighted some of that behavior.  In the end, the movie showed that being true to yourself and your desires is what counts---not playing games.  Here’s a few tips on how to have it all without losing yourself.

Friends First- People really underestimate the importance of a friendship in a relationship.   It’s unfortunate that many find that though they may love their significant other, they really don’t like them.  Ouch!  Without all the romantic intricacies involved, you should still be able to enjoy him just the same.  Good communication, understanding, and genuine caring is lasting.  When getting to know a new possible Mr. Right, take it slow and build on a friendship.  

Ask Questions...Don’t Investigate- Let’s be real ladies, sometimes our desire to find out if we should invest our time or not comes off a bit, eh...scary.  Yes, there are important questions that need to be asked, but you will find that your approach can determine the answer.  Rather than make a man feel like he’s on trial, initiate a smooth conversation about life in general.  Set the tone for comfortability without judgement and you will find that he will not only answer some general questions, but will provide you with answers to questions you didn’t even ask!

To Thine Own Self Be True- You know who you are at your core.  You know what you desire, what you’re willing to be flexible with, and what’s on your “non-negotiable” list.  Don’t change it!  There’s compromise and then there’s losing yourself hoping to get a man---NOT a good idea!  Never dismiss your values, beliefs, and what’s truly important.  The right man, who is worth it and who recognizes your worth, will be willing to do what it takes to gain your trust and love when the time is right!  

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Reading and Writing Through Life.... (written for KIDMUNICATOR)

As a child I always found myself  “in my head.”  I constantly had thoughts swarming around but for some reason I was always apprehensive to sharing them.  Everyone else in my family was very chatty and said whatever came to mind, but I always guarded my thoughts.  Always the bookworm, you could find me locked in my room, under the covers, immersed in a novel.  The years of reading and training that my parents put me through (they’re avid believers of reading and education) paid off.  I excelled in school, read years above my grade level, and was even offered to be skipped up two grades!  Eventually, I began to put my thoughts and ideas from my reading into my own words.  I started writing.  At first, I kept it to myself, but after much coaxing from my teacher, I decided to share my stories with my classmates.  They enjoyed it so much that it became a weekly event that grew into sharing my stories with three other classes as well.  Not only did it provide me an outlet for thoughts and creativity, it also increased my socialization skills and self-esteem.  

Writing my own stories caused me to want to relay my own thoughts down as well which lead me into journaling.  Journaling opened up a new lane of self-expression for me.  There I was able to express my feelings about everyday life, things that were occurring in my family, as well as my hopes as dreams for the future.  Looking back, some of it even served as a vision board (if you will), because a lot of what I said I wanted to accomplish had already been written.  Journaling is so important because whether you realize it or not, it is somewhat therapeutic.  It allows you to face your thoughts as you write them in plain view and helps you process what’s really going on in your mind.  Not only does it aid in self-healing, it also increases your vernacular and reading skill-set.  Double-win!

My love for reading and writing has taken me quite far.  What began as a love for education and creativity in my youth, has become a way of life in my adulthood.   I currently lend my writing talents to several magazines as an editor/contributor, am completing my first book, and still find the time to journal in the form of my weekly blog posts (www.stephaniebenoit.blogspot.com).  Something that began so simply as me writing down my feelings or getting lost in the fantasy of a novel’s world has shaped my reality beautifully.  

If you feel that you don’t always want to talk about it, write about it first or take the time to research a book that may be of healing for you.  Remember that no one can ever take away your words, your heart, or your education!

Live.  Laugh.  Learn.  

Scary Thoughts.....

What if?  Let’s say this happens?  Worst case scenario?  These are some of the phrases people often use when they consider the outcomes of circumstances that they have no control over.  Instead of focusing on what could be, people tend to lean toward all the things that stand in the way of the happier possibilities.  In a world where you’re taught to expect nothing, but hope for the best, why are we still hoping for less?

This week, one of my clients called me frazzled with a particular situation.  As with any of my clients, I make myself available within sessions for emergency situations and this was just that.  I will not go into detail for obvious ethical reasons, but what I will say is that the majority of our conversation was me offering positive possibilities for every negative one she came up with.  Though the situations she brought up were very possible, she was operating out of fear.  Every negative reason she gave was something that she created based off of an idea of what could possibly be since she wasn’t really sure of what was.  My job and goal was to get her to see the infinite positive possibilities as well as teach her to combat her own negative thinking that was caused my her increased anxiety.  I’m not oblivious to the fact that yes, negative things do occur, but we mustn’t think only in terms of the realization of our fears, but also with the possibility of the positive outcomes.  

Also, this week, one of my family members was having a procedure done.  As we discussed who was taking him to the doctor and the prep for the procedure, he stated “what if they put me to sleep and I don’t wake up?”  Though this is a normal fear, especially for those that have never been under anesthesia,  I wondered why that’s the first thing that comes to mind?  As I did my best to coax him into being calm and thinking of the great health benefits of the procedure, he began to see the glass as half full. 

As happy as I was that I could help veer the views of two people into a positive direction, it got me wondering why we always go to the worst case scenario?  What one must understand is that not only do our fears paralyze and control us, but if we fear them too much, we begin to act based off of the imaginary consequences and situations we’ve created.  My advice: always be prepared for the possibilities of what life may bring, but don’t allow the fears of the unknown and uncontrollable to dictate your thinking. Often times, our lives go in the direction of our most dominant thoughts, so the next time you start thinking about the possibility of the worst, stop yourself, and embrace the euphoric joy of the best!

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

What are you willing to accept?

Life is chalk full of choices, but along with those choices comes many consequences.  What easier and more palpable way to swallow the more negative ones by pointing the finger and curling up in a victimized fetal position?  There always HAS to be something that was done to you because to actually take the responsibility that the negative outcome was in direct relation to the very choice and action you made is more than unnerving.  It places the ever-horrendous reflection that can only be seen by the fun-house mirror at the circus.  In this day in age, when most people are intelligent enough to mildly accurately self-diagnose the nature of their own psychological defect and the effects it’s had on their actions, why is it still so hard to take the blame?

Life is all about relationships.  Whether platonic or romantic, a dictatorship or business, they all exist between two or more people.  Regardless of the way you choose to label yours, which ever way it’s going, is exactly the way you want it to.  There are many who would beg to differ, but many focus on the wrong thing.  We, as human beings, especially us women, figure that our results will come from the outcomes we’ve created in our minds based on our current and consistent actions, regardless of the consistent truths we’ve been shown.  Movement needs to happen on our own time frame.  Apologies need to happen when we think they should.  Understanding and enlightenment needs to happen at a certain juncture.  As a woman, I’m totally guilty of this, but the more I begin to think, the more clear it becomes.  It’s not about you and it’s not about me.  It’s about what you’re willing to deal with; what you’re willing to ACCEPT.  Never do we dig beyond what we see in terms of men and that is where everything truly lies.  This is the truth for everyone, however.  There are experiences and pasts that are so deeply engraved that lend themselves to the current creation of the person you now know.  You are receiving a part of them that has always been there that has nothing to do with you or what you provide.  To be able to successfully “have it your way” or as close to it as you can, you must understand that person and all their relative experiences for your “aha moment.”  The greater issue and hope is that they themselves understand it and if they haven’t worked on it, are open to digging deep, learning to walk in the thundering rain of their issue(s), and accept living in the sunshine of their newly overcome circumstances and life.  When that becomes possible, then everything can really move forward. 

A very significant realization that I’ve had in the past few days is my responsibility for my time.  For a very long time now, but especially most recently, I’ve discussed my time or lack thereof.  My time often seems to go to a lot of other things and doesn’t allow me to complete or even start what I intended.  It has been this way for years.  Sure, there have been times when I’ve put my foot down about it, but in a way, my guilt and desire to be of service and not let everyone down, became an enabler of some sort.  It also became the way I victimized myself.  After spending time with a very significant someone recently and watching them take accountability in ways I’d never seen before, it gave me the tools to become accountable as well.  The hardest part: being accountable for all the things you don’t like or all the negative things.  It’s not the easiest pill to swallow, but when you do, it becomes easier.  Personal acceptability allows you to see and make the choices that were always there in the first place.  There are no blindfolds that come in the forms of excuses or victimized circumstances.  There is only the truth and the choices you make with your present actions and when things don’t work out the way you thought, you remain present and responsible and do better next time.  What I am doing now is being present and protective with my time.  If that means saying “no” to some things and people, then I’m going to actively say “no” knowing that this will contribute to the protection of my time and the evolution of me.  

Whether it’s being present in the relationship you choose or taking charge of your time and life, the sooner you understand that you are a part of everything, good and bad, the better off you will be.  You have the power to choose and the power to be empowered by the outcomes of your choices.  Pray that God teaches you the lesson from each choice and that you are proud to accept the life you’ve created!

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Balance & Shine....

We jump out of bed and rush to the shower.  From the shower, we pour ourselves into our clothes, grab the quickest and most convenient on-the-go breakfast, and curse traffic hoping it will propel us to our destination more quickly.  If you begin each day with the renewed spirit of entrepreneurship, you raise your disciplined body with your internal itinerary and find that your life's day is navigated by the compass of the happenings of life hopefully sprinkled by the tasks you actually need to accomplish.  In a world where it's common to hear, "there aren't enough hours in the day," how do we find the balance?  More importantly, when our mastery of our time shows it's face in our success, how do we deal with the excessive glamour that may come with it?  

It is no secret that when we look into the lives of the rich and famous, the glamour and glitz are sometimes overshadowed by the negativity that accompanies it.  The lives of these sought after and looked up to celebs bombard our desires on a daily basis.  Whether through the gossip-filled blogs or through water-cooler conversations, the famous are idolized to no end.  From the outside in, you can't see the things they give up, their insecurities, their demons and turmoil, and their lack of balance.  We all do our best to balance, and believe that in the hands of a fabulous personal assistant-extraordinaire, lies the balance that makes your life happen as it should.  What we learn when the truth is exposed is that the balance we so desperately yearn for, they yearn for as well and many lose grasp of it and also the ability to live the lives and enjoy the luxuries they worked so hard for.  

It's no secret that we lost a legend recently.  Whitney Houston left the earth and the saddest part: her legendary lifestyle, achievements, and memory were sullied by the part of her that struggled.  The part that wasn't wrapped up in diamonds and fur.  The part that fell off of the beam of balance, time and time again.  As I look at the endless videos, remembrance films, and interviews with those who knew her, I think of how sad it is that things ended up the way they did.  I know God does things on His own time, but sometimes, you can't help but wonder.   

A close friend of mine and I had a discussion a couple of nights ago about "wanting too much" and our feelings associated with that.  Coincidentally, we always discuss balance which prompted this hodgepodge post.  We both have clearly learned to better balance our lives as we've matured, but we're still learning.  There was a time that I felt that the right balance changed depending on the time and the goal.  Whatever your priority is at the time determines how you balance everything else.  For me, there is an evolution of balance.  It's never the same nor is it ever perfect enough to where one end of the beam isn't tilting closer toward the ground than the other side.  In regard to the idea of wanting too much, it's no secret to anyone who's spoken to me and some of my crew, that we want it all.  We work hard and aspire to do so much.  In my mind, the sky really is the limit!  I desire much knowing that God, himself, places those desires in my heart.  He doesn't place the same wants in everyone which leads me to believe that He knows that I can handle the blessings that he gives me knowing that I will use them to ultimately bless others.  That is, after all, what we're all here for...to be a beacon of light for others.

Don't allow guilt to rob you of the joy and dreams that your desires give you.  You were placed on this earth to do what you're currently doing and achieve what you're working on.  Shine brightly but refuse to let the brightness of the glamour steal your God-given light and balance.  

Until next time...keep the forward movement.....

Onward & Upward....

Life is all about change.  If you dare disagree, you’re in complete denial.  Whether you’re accepting of that change or desperately fighting against it, it happens.  Though everyone describes it as an earth-shattering experience, it can be a very scary process.  To leave what you know, even if you desire something else, takes you out of your comfort zone.  Being uncomfortable causes you to begin to reach up and pick out the worst of scenarios and frighten yourself even more.   In the end, however, it is more than worth it.

For a long time now, I’ve found myself at a crossroads.  I was in a place that I desperately abhorred, but didn’t see an easy way out of.  Though at times my entire being wanted to just get up and run, my sensible self told me that, that wouldn’t be the best idea.  Running would simply add to whatever I was running from, not eliminate it.  With the understanding of that, I decided to stay.  At the beginning of this year, I thought to myself “how awesome would it be if I could leave this place and embark on something new that was intertwined with my passions.”  I decided that the best thing I could do was continue to work hard and pray.  I did just that.  I was careful to request my desires specifically and made sure to keep believing.  One things for sure, if you don’t truly believe in your dreams and desires, no matter how hard you work, you will never attain them...and that’s simply because you don’t truly believe you can.  As days passed by, I didn’t allow myself to waiver or be saddened by the circumstance.  I kept pushing on.  Finally, one recent afternoon, I decided to do an exercise that I often do with some of my life coaching clients.  I decided to write a letter about the situation as if it had ALREADY been taken care of.  This letter was the viewpoint of being on the other side.  I even re-wrote it twice to make sure it was perfect and slipped it into a book.  That, my friends, is one form of an exercise of putting your desires into the atmosphere.  You can see it and it becomes more real.  Well, God definitely heard me because a short 45 minutes later, things completely changed in my life.  The very thing that I wrote about on that piece of paper happened!  I was so excited!  My heart beamed with thanksgiving.  Later that day, a part of me, although happy, naturally began to think of all the negative “what-ifs” in my new situation, but I didn’t allow them in my spirit long enough to even consider planting a seed.  I knew, without a doubt, that because of the way things happened, my steps were being ordered and I was that much closer to my destiny.  

Today, I encourage you to step out on faith and embrace the changes.  There will always be change.  That is what life is.  You may not always understand the purpose of the juncture, but trust that it will take you to your destination.  Be lead by your belief in the one that orchestrates the changes, and not crippled by the uneasy angst that tries to steal your peace.  Know that you are meant to achieve all you desire as your wonderful change moves you onward and upward! 

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Live to Work Your Passion...Not Your J-O-B....

I have noticed that within my generation, more people want to own a business than work for one.  Long gone are the days, for many, where punching a clock and living to work for someone else's dream suffice.  Even the economic turmoil that has occurred in recent years doesn't scare the mind of an entreprenuer. So what do you do when you feel stuck in your job and unable to transition to your own dream?  You plan; Plain and simple.  

First off, know what you really want to do.  This may seem like something that is so obvious, but when asked, you may find yourself stumped.  It's even happened to me when someone asked me what I wanted to do, I paused.  On the inside, I knew exactly what I wanted, however, I hadn't really ever verbalized it, so it appeared that I may not know.  Tip: You never know when the person you run into holds the keys to an opportunity that will catapult you into another professional dimension.  Make it your business to know what you want and to be able to sell it in 30 seconds or less.  This type of elevator speech is a great, compact, and direct way to promote yourself and your business.  

Another great way to get yourself out there is to create marketing tools.  This can range from the general business card and website to an ad in the newspaper and most certainly social networking!  Making yourself known and slowly building your business and clientele while you're at work, will give your more of a ground to stand on when your time is up.  You'll not only be more secure, but will also have more contacts through your networking that will be able to add value to your transition time.  

Yes, you may be at work during the day, but the work you do at night will count the most.  Ladies and gentlemen, the name of the game is sacrifice.  You can't give your all during the day for someone else's dream, but neglect your own.  Your personal evening time now belongs to your dream.  Even if you have a family and a spouse, make it your business to accomplish at least one to two tasks.  By doing this, something will shift.  Your energy and thoughts will be in the direction that respects your goals and deems them just as, if not, more important than your traditional work duties.  It may be difficult at the beginning,  but after a while, it will become a way of life.  

Lastly, put it in the atmosphere.   For so long, people have been saying to write things down.  Say it from your mouth.  Believe them in your mind.  When you do these things and couple them with hard, consistent, and productive efforts, it will just be a matter of time until your're creating jobs rather than working one.  You will not work to live, but will live to work your passion.  

The risk of leaving the hum-drum consistency of your job may be scary, but when executed with all the above, you can't lose.  What you decide today, will show it's face in where you are 10 years from now.  What reflection do you want looking back at you?  Where do you want to be?  Get Ready to work for your dreams.  

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Being Fearlessly Fit (Article previously written for Fearless Magazine)

The new year always offers the perfect time and incentive to get in shape.  Exercise is not only important to looking good for the upcoming flirty months, but also important to remaining healthy throughout the year.  Try these fun and fast workouts ideas to keep yourself at your sexiest winter's best!

• Beach Run- the beach provides the perfect backdrop to get you up and going!  The fresh air alone is invigorating and the sun provides that extra ounce of beauty to get you energized.  Start with a brisk walk and work your way into a light jog.  For those who are more physically advanced, you can go ahead and start off with a well-paced run.  Whichever you choose to do, the sand will offer a great resistance to your workout and make your workout more effective.
• Cardioke- for those of you who love to dance and sing, or do something a little different, this is the workout for you!  Incorporating  great music, the freedom to belt out your favorite songs, and heart racing aerobic moves, helps you workout and have a good time!  Before you know it, you’ve burned tons of calories!
• Everything you ever want- many may not know, but your cable network offers a channel(s) that give you an endless variety of workouts.  Gone are the days when at-home workouts provided low-intensity workouts; usher in the days when the workouts are just as intense, if not more than your trip to the gym.  From yoga and pilates to cardio and intense weight training, you’ll find everything imaginable to keep you motivated!

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

New Year, New HEALTHY You!

It’s a new year and what does that mean for many across the globe? Resolutions! And what resolution is the most popular EVERY year? Weight loss! For some reason, every year, people rev themselves up to believe the first of the year brings discipline and drastic change. Newsflash: it doesn’t! If you pay close attention, you will notice midday through January 1st, you are doing, saying, and acting the very same way you did the day before. Even if you try to do things differently, you’ll notice that subconsciously you are thinking and saying the same things. Why; Because your daily habits create who you are. There is no overnight change. When you realize this, you will take the necessary actions to have a life long change instead of a temporary one. Got it? Good! With that in mind, let’s get to some awesome ways to kick-start the healthier, sexier you!


Personal Trainer- this is one of the best ways to not only work out, but to also increase your exercise knowledge. Whether you need a swift, (but caring) kick in the butt or want to try something new, a personal trainer is the way to go. They will support you when you need it, push you when you want to give up, and explain the benefits of the things you are doing. The best part of this? When you’re all said and done with your trainer, you will have the knowledge to continue to positively moving forward to progress in and sustain your fitness goals!

Home Sweet Home- for a variation of reasons, you may prefer to work out at home. Initially, when we think of home exercises, we drift to the old school Suzanne Somers “thigh-master” workouts that left you dewy fresh. Well, jump in the new millennium my friends! Home workouts are not what they used to be! Nowadays, home workouts, (if done correctly), are just as intense as a workout done with a trainer and/or at the gym.  For instance, take the Les Mills Pump Workout Program by Beach Body;  this incredible workout program is the fastest way to get in shape!  The barbell-based strength training program promotes rapid weight loss  and can burn up to 1, 000 calories per workout to get you lean, strong, and scultped!   Wow!  How's that for a home workout?!  You'll be 1,000 calories lighter, without leaving the house!

Trick or Treat- Yes, this phrase is synonomous for halloween, but we can use it with our daily eating habits!  Let's be real: candy, cookies, brownies, chips, soda, etc. all taste delicious...BUT those are some of the worst things you can put into your body.  Now, all things in moderation, so you can have that every now and then, but for the most part, don't even look in their direction!  Healthy food has come a long way in the past decade.  No longer are the healthier options not as enjoyable or enticing.  Gone are the days of disgusting after-tastes and pinching your nose to gulp it down!  Usher in the days of enjoying the options just as much and even moreso, knowing it's good for you!  These foods/snacks offer an awesome way for you to trick your taste buds into believing you're having a "bad" treat instead of a "good" one.  You can exercise all you want, but you can never beat good nutrition!  Practicing healthy eating habits, can help with not only weight loss but with other diseases associated with poor eating habits.  Add to that the extra self-esteem boost, and you'll not only notice a change in your body, but also in your mind and spirit. 

This year, resolve to not only get in shape for the upcoming  summer, but resolve to create long-lasting, life-changing way of life.   If you committ to that this year, it won't be on the resolution list next year.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...