You're not lucky....You're PREPARED.

Luck.  Dictionary.com defines it as good fortune; advantage or success, considered as the result of chance. I started thinking about how often we rely on this so-called "luck."  The more I thought about it, the more I questioned it. How much do our accomplishments, desires, and daily happenings occur because of luck rather than preparation?

 

About a year and a half ago, I entered a constest.  I wanted to sharpen my public speaking skills, so I dove head first into my essay and video entry.  I wrote, proofed, and re-wrote my essay several times.  I filmed over a dozen entry videos and finally settled on one (that I still think is pretty awful, lol) and sent it in.  I made it past the first round, and answered a slew of additional questions from the judges.  A couple of weeks later, I was met with the awesome and quite surprising news that I won!  I received quite a few congratulatory messages including the phrase "you're so lucky!"  At the time, I didn't think much of it at all, but looking back now, I know that luck never had anything to do with it.  

A good friend of mine always wanted to attend law school.  Amongst other things, one of her main passions was law.  Well, life didn't necessarily go the way she planned.  Battling frustration and sadness, she made the conscious effort to push through the obstacles and keep working.  She studied, researched schools, sought out financial support, networked, prayed, and stayed focused.  She lined everything up and did all she could possibly do until there was nothing left to do but WAIT.  One day, she called me to to share her great news that she had been accepted into law school!  A couple of weeks ago, she completed her first year!  I know that so many people think that she's so lucky to be given the very thing that she's been hoping and praying for, but I think it's the furthest thing from luck.

I personally don't believe in luck.  I believe in full preparation meeting the perfect time and the sparks that ensue when those two things combine.  Things just don't happen out of nowhere.  You have to put forth effort and align your thoughts and actions all while waiting for the perfect time.   Oprah wrapped it up in one great sentence during her episode of Master's Class: "luck is preparation meeting the moment of opportunity".  She explains it perfectly below:

Above all else, God will align everything in your life and catapult you to where you need to be.  There's always a bigger hand at work.  Your job is to work and stay ready.  Your perfect moment will marry opportunity at the perfect time.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

What are you REALLY saying?

If someone were to ask you what you would do to fulfill your dreams, you'd most likely answer "whatever it takes." When you realize your true passion and you have that fire burning deep down inside of you, you'll do anything you can to make them come true...or so you say.  Whether we realize it or not, we get caught up in the hum-drum routines of our days that create our habits.  You may say that you do one thing, but naturally do another.  What are your consistant actions really saying?

I'm a people pleaser....to a certain extent.  No matter what I'm doing, I always take the time to help someone else with whatever they need.  Whether I'm awake, asleep, busy, or in the midst of my own crisis, I will put it aside and pick up whatever you have going on.  Within the last year and half, I found myself wondering why it is that I can complete other people's tasks so quickly.  I felt that at the time, it took me too long to complete my own.   I sat down and started thinking about why this was.  What I came up with gave me an "aha moment."  I realized that even though I was helping people, I was inadvertently doing a disservice to myself.  My mind said that what I do and want to do is important, but my actions were saying that everyone else's tasks and issues were more important than my own.  The moment I realized that, I ceased my way of doing things.  Nowadays, unless it's an emergency, I will complete my own things first, and then go from there.  It may seem mean to some, but to my future, it's saying you're more important than anyone else.  Not tossing your own tasks aside unites the message that your head and your actions are giving. 

Another thing that people do that I notice that I was guily of as well is this: being too tired to work on their passion.  In the past, there were so many things that I wanted to do, but claimed that I couldn't because I worked all day and the evening didn't provide enough time and energy for me to complete a project.  Before you know it, days turn into weeks, weeks turns into months, and months turn into years.  You hold on to the same excuses and hold on to the same life.  The message in your mind remains the same however: My future and goals are important to me.  The message in your actions however are silently screaming something else:  My future and goals aren't important enough for me to make the sacrifice to achieve them.   Even though you feel differently, your actions aren't aligned with what you're saying and until that happens you won't achieve your goals.  


You must be clear about what you're saying and the message you're projecting.  Saying one thing but doing another will ultimately cause you to fail in what you want to achieve.  If you need to put some people and tasks on hold and prioritize your own goals, then you're going to have to do that no matter what the repurcussions.  If you have to go to work, drink a red bull, clock in at that second shift (working on your passion), and burn the midnight oil, then so be it!  The sacrifice will be worth it in the end and your message will be speaking loud and clear:  My aspirations of worth everything to me and I will work hard until I reach them!


Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Who Runs the World?

Girls! This is by far one of my favorite Beyonce songs.  The upbeat rhythm coupled with the powerful words, coerces even the most timid of souls to jump up and rock to the beat.  The top female entertainer of this generation always gives us music to dance to and heart wrenching ballads to belt out.  Love her or hate her, you can't deny her talent and the way she motivates others.  Throughout her music and career in general, she continues to propel this one message:  FEMALE EMPOWERMENT....and I love it. 

In a world where women are pitted against each other, it's refreshing to have many musical reminders that we should support one another, rather than plot and scheme to bring others down.  Since the beginning of time, women were bred to 'one-up' one another and do whatever it takes to be the 'queen-bee'.  Whether it's through rigging a contest so that you win by embarrassing another female, or going as low as taking her man (karma), our world celebrates the demise of the essence of sisterhood.  The very strength that we could use to build each other up is the very one we use to hold each other down.  I'm not speaking to every woman, but if we're honest with ourselves, you can name several off the top of your head who is exactly what this blog entry is talking about.

When I was in college, I joined a modeling organization.   The business of modeling can be very cut-throat, but we were a family that all had the same purpose.  Our main goal aside from our semester shows was service and we frequently gave our time to different organizations.  As I spent time with my new family, I grew close to several people and we truly became inseparable.  One of my close friends had a friend (we'll call her Stacy), who I spoke to and was cordial to, but was never really friends with.  I didn't have any ill-will toward her and thought she was a nice girl, but never really divulged my personal business to.  Well, months later, I heard that a certain woman (obviously Stacy) was spreading rumors about me and a young man I was dating.  The rumor was along the lines of him only dating me because of my looks and not really caring about me, etc.  The rumor was a little less diplomatic than I just stated, but I'm sure you get the drift. 

Initially I was mad.  Then I became hurt.  After some thought and some venting with friends, I decided to let it go.  What initially bothered me about it was the fact that I had never said or even thought anything negative about this young woman, but here she was talking about me.  I chalked it up to several things: low self-esteem, an obvious lack of happiness somewhere, and the virus that a lot of women unfortunately have that causes them to hate other women unnecessarily. 

That's just one personal example, but I have many more and I'm sure if we had a microphone and asked other women to share their experiences, the line would wrap around the world.  It's so sad that women in general roll their eyes at each other, whisper behind each other's backs, and deliberately sabotage one another.  If you don't like someone, actually have a legetimate reason/situation that causes you to feel that way.  That is more understandable, but hating for no reason, is so sad and a direct reflection of the sadness and inferiority that lies within you.  I for one, practice the rule of upliftment.  There's enough room at the top for us all as we will never serve the very same purpose.  In empowering others genuinely, you truly uplift yourself. 

Ladies...SISTERHOOD IS THE NEW BLACK. We can do so much more together than we can apart.  If you find yourself to be one of these women that "hate", work on your own issues.  Heal your own wounds and be an example not only for future generations, but for the existing generations of women.  Live. Laugh. Love. EMPOWER. 



Until next time...keep the forward movement...