New Year, Same Me...but a little bit better... :)

When I think about this year, and so many occurrences that accompanied it, I find myself unable to verbalize anything. My mind is swarmed by the positive and negative and although I so desperately want to, my mouth won't allow all those emotions to come out...not all at once anyway. From the joyous occasion as a brand new life (my niece) in this world, to losing another family member, this year, has been a trying one....but I made it...and so did you. It's a MUST, that we remember that.

At the beginning of each year, we set out with a new determination that allegedly begins at the stroke of midnight. We've all done it, where we think "this is going to be the year." In one moment, everything will change. That huge opportunity that catapults you to a new stratosphere will instantly appear. That frog you've been kissing (ladies you know what I mean, lol) will automatically be your perfect prince. The heartaches and stressors will quickly dissolve and everything will be smooth sailing.


"Pop!" Did you hear that? That was your bubble bursting because that isn't reality. So often, these things that we expect to come out of thin air, and when they don't, there goes our New Year's resolution...and this usually happens on January 2nd. I often ask myself why it is that we do that. I used to do it myself, but the more developed I get, the more I realize that it's not about the time of the year or what you think should happen. It's about what you are DOING. It's about who you're BECOMING. It's about APPLYING the things that you have learned in order to propel yourself to where you want to be. It's about OPENING yourself up for the right person to love you. It's about CONTROLLING YOUR REACTION to the stressors of life instead of allowing them to control you. I have learned, in a short period of time I might add, that when you make a change, things change. I've also learned that depending on the New Year, without taking any personal responsibility will leave you exactly where you are. When you make moves, you determine the outcome of that "oh so important" stroke of midnight.




When I look back at this year, I realize something important. Things may have not been perfect, but I've made some definite moves in my life that I had never made before...and they continue to show up in my life in a great way. I'm an editor for an awesome publication called FEARLESS magazine (http://www.fearlessmag.com/) and I'm also a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH. These are only a couple of things that have transpired because I made the choices and legitimized them with my actions. I am where I am not because nothing bad happened this year but because I made a choice to jump over each hurdle that was in my way. Yes, we may get weary, but we must keep moving. God has given you and I so much more than some others and if you're struggling to find the reason why, use this moment of being able to read this, as one of your many blessings. Get up and get going! Live your life and take a hold of your destiny. Dream, believe, have faith, and keep moving. Don't allow any setbacks, at any time of the year, to detour you on your path of love, life, and success.
I'd simply like to close out by saying "thank you" to all of you who spend some time with me every week. Prior to this year, I had only written one post and that was back in 2007. At the beginning of this year, I committed to writing consistently and helping others at the same time. The text messages, facebook messages, and phone calls always solidify that my words are more significant than I could ever imagine. I pray for you all as we enter a new year filled with endless possibilities that depending on what you do with them, will signify where are you next New Year's Eve. I'm excited to continue to grow and enter a new year, being the same me...but a little bit better each time. :)


Happy New Year!

 

One Bad Apple...

One bad apple can ruin the bunch.  I'm sure you've heard this time and time again.  The saying explains how when one bad apple is with fresh ones, it will ruin the other apples as well.  The saying is absolutely true, but as I get older, I wonder to what exact degree.

As I look back on my childhood, I'm so thankful that I had parents who were stern enough to steer me away from things and people they knew would take me down a negative path.  Whether it be through fixing my incorrect vernacular or curving my newly learned, slightly absurd ideals, what angered me for being taken away, was ultimately for my good.  I look at myself now and see that if they would have allowed me to get comfortable in a bad place, I'd be in an even worse one.  You have to do that with children though.  Adults can follow those same rules, but children, especially, need that guidance and structure.  

I fasted forward to my adulthood and am now beginning to rethink the whole "bad apple" concept.  The adult version of this saying, that you'll most likely hear in the business world is "the top 5 people in your circle, determine how far you go."  Well, when you're not hanging out with mega business minds like Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki or well established moguls like Oprah or Jay-Z, what does that mean for you?  I kept thinking about that in terms of myself.   A lot of my friends are at the place that I'm in...grinding it out and burning many midnight oils.  Reaching for the place where we want to be, the things we want to achieve.  Already pondering the following moves and new goals that come with acquiring the success that we're still in route toward.  When I initially heard this quote, I started thinking that my top level friends, as much as I love them, weren't top level at all, not in the terms of the success that I wanted.  When that is the case, you have to become one of the top people in your circle and begin to adopt that mentality. 

I like to think that in an environment that tries to consistently stifle you or turn you into the next bad apple, you can be the one that rises out of the bunch and produces delicious fruit and bear seeds that produce more greatness. 

As you go through your days, and work toward your goals, continue to fight through the negativity and rise above your circumstances and surroundings.  Be the GOOD apple and commit to providing seeds for not only yourself, but for others too.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Every. Single. Thought.

Everyone has heard time and time again that "thoughts are things." We create our reality by the constant thoughts that we have.  Knowing this is one thing, applying it is another.  Within the last few weeks, I've had so much going on...and unfortunately, some of it wasn't good.  With a death in the family and another person falling to illness, I had a lot on my plate.  The thing about me is, I notice my funk.  I notice that I'm not as happy, and am turning to the dark and negative side.  The moment I realize that, I work on going back to the positive side, which is taking the moment to see the good in everything that happens.  With this in mind, I decided to do something about it. 

I chose to do an experiment on myself.  I chose to see what would happen if I captured my thoughts.  The experiment was to become active in every single moment of my life.  You live in every single moment, but you're not always active in that moment.  Being active is about making the conscious choice to react positively with everything that comes to you.  If you stop to think before you react, and choose to make a decision that points you in a good direction, it will give you the power over allowing your thoughts to create a negative response.  

For one week, I monitored my thinking and every time I had a thought that veered to the negative side, I stopped and found the positive thing.  I took long breaths, and decided not to be mad.  I decided to focus on the things I had and the wonderful opportunities I was being blessed with vs. the things I didn't have and the opportunities I was upset over still having to wait for.  The more I did this, the more at peace I felt and the more empowered I was to know the control I have.  Since then, things have been smooth sailing, and not because there are no problems or shortcomings, but because I now rule over the negative instead of letting them rule me, my mindset, my attitude, and my future. 

Today, I urge you to take control of every. single. thought.  In doing that, you'll be controlling your life and your future. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Keep Pushing

You never know how much you can handle until you have to.  Within the last few weeks, a young woman from an organization I joined in college passed away, a week later, my great-grandmother passed away, and 3 days later, my grandmother had a stroke.  A few days later, my sister had a baby. That was the event that I used as my silver lining.  My days consisted of going to work and heading to hospitals and visiting different people.  I was exhausted.  Even when I got home, I'd lay across the bed with my eyes closed and console my friends and family in need.  At any time, especially a rough time, if I can be of service...even if it's simply listening...I'll do it...and so I did. 

I kept going and going and going until I ALMOST snapped.  I was falling asleep at times that I shouldn't have been, irritable, and falling behind on everything that I was doing.  One day, I had a friend who expressed how proud she was of me knowing everything that I was going through and how I kept pushing.  After I got off the phone with her, I got a second wind.  No matter how tired or frustrated, whether it be with family tragedies or life's personal obstacles, you always have to KEEP PUSHING.  "Your character isn't created in times of struggle, it's defined." 

I want to encourage you that in your times of struggle, KEEP PUSHING!  In doing that, you'll reach heights that you never have before!

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Where I Wanna Be....

"I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I was, and I'm on my way to where I'm going to be."   This is one of the quotes that I often say when I'm not feeling too great about me.  It automatically puts things into perspective and almost has you feeling ashamed for not always realizing where you are....or more importantly, where you came from.  Earlier this year, I reconnected with a friend who I modeled with in college.  She is practically a sister to me so I fondly refer to her as 'sis'.   Anyway, being that we hadn't spoken in years, our "catch conversation" that was suppose to be a mere few minutes, developed into a 4 hour "what has gone on with you in the past few years" conversation.  Those are the best by the way.  Somehow, we began to refer to college days and our struggles at that time.  She discussed not having a car and then having one that she had to share that had no air conditioning.  We went to school in the south where the wind wouldn't be blow even if it meant you dying, lol.  As we discussed this, I rang in with the 89' hatch back toyota tercel that I had with the paint chipping, no air conditioning, and no radio.  I waited until evening to go out if I didn't absolutely have to, drove around with a cup of ice to keep my body temperature down, and listened to my discman (totally illegal by the way) so that I could have some music.  Go ahead.....I'll finish when you stop laughing :).  As my friend and I were swapping stories, we could barely get them out because of the laughing and tears streaming down our faces.  It is hilarious now but not so much back then.  At that moment, as we turned around to see where we were, we turned back around to see how far we've come. 

Over the weekend, I was at my university's homecoming and it was so good to see everyone.  Of course we had a blast and attended tons of events, but with that came several outfit changes and ridiculous heels all day everyday.  With the excessive stiletto wearing, comes at one point, the urge to throw fashion to the wind, and walk around barefoot, lol.  At one point I was in so much pain that I almost refused to walk anywhere else (yea right, like that was really an option.)  As I began to walk to the car, that was parked in another city as far as my feet were concerned, I decided that instead of focusing on the pain, I'd focus on each step until I got to the car.  At first, all I could think about was how much my feet hurt, but before I knew it I didn't focus on that so much as I did how much closer I was getting to the car.  See, I shifted my thinking and instead of seeing how far away I was from the car, I kept realizing how much closer I was getting with every single step.

Often, we get so caught in looking at how far we are away from the things we want to achieve, that we rarely look back to see how far away we are from the things that we so desperately wanted to get away from.  Believe me, I know it gets hard and it feels like things are so far from being how you'd like, but if you learn to equip yourself with the mindset of knowing where you came from and to keep pushing, you'll get that second wind every time you get tired from the race. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Asking for too Much?

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of speaking to a male friend about relationships.  Somehow the conversation turned to the oxymoron of the requests of many people in relationships nowadays.  I'll be honest: relationships are not this generation's strong suit.  We're in and out of them as often as we change our underwear.  A lot of relationships aren't having the lasting power that we'd like or that we thought it would.  I often think of older relationships that didn't need nor require all that we ask of it now...and a lot of them are still around.  Why is it that this generation needs so much to attempt to be successful in a relationship? 

I once heard Steve Harvey discussing a reason why he thinks relationships are more difficult now.  Back then, there was nowhere near as much access to people in the world as there is now.  As he said, the person in the house you could walk to was your forever, lol.  Nowadays, people can pretty much contact anyone they want anytime.  There's always that yearning of "maybe there's someone better out there for me."  With that mindset, whomever you choose to share your time with, at that moment, doesn't have a fair shot...and neither does that relationship.

Many people are caught up in the fiction that lies inside of television on both spectrums.  Whether you watch the class act that is The Jersey Shore or the lets-be-real, oh so romantic, Bachelor, people subconsciously are expecting those types of unions.  Those who arent mentally strong enough, will look for what they see ignoring, the fact that their favorite psuedo-relationship ends with a director yelling "cut!"  Things and people aren't always as they seem.

People need to put aside their hang-ups and put themselves on the table.  Being real, as much as it's celebrated, is a hard thing to do.  To become vulnerable with someone you care about, isn't an easy feat,  but it will have the best outcome.  That is what will truly benefit the man and woman involved.  A lot of the relationships now are missing the foundational things.  If someone looks good and they have X, Y, and Z, people believe that they are good to go.  The person that looks great on paper, however, may not be the one for you.  

My thoughts: the same way that you invest in things you love or believe in, invest in your relationship...and from the ground up.  Treat it like it your very own baby.  Love it, cherish it, nurture it.  The basics of getting to know someone and forming a relationship are still just as important as the gold stars that a person comes with. 

Live. Laugh. Love.

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Rated: ADULT...The Big Ohhhhhhhh

Orgasm: the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual excitation, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ and usually accompanied in the male by ejaculation. I find it so interesting that in the main definition it only includes what it looks like for men. True, you can see a man's ejaculation, but women orgasm too....or do we?

I saw an article on Essence.com about a young lady that faked her "finish" (You can view this article here) and it got me thinking about why a lot of women do that. Now, this is a topic that is consistantly on the tongues of women across the country and still, so many women are allowing men to believe that they're doing something they're not. My friends and I discuss it all the time and find that with maturity and comfort within yourself, your views and actions become better. Here are a few reasons why I believe women let this happen.

• Men are fragile....and although some of them may be offended by this, it's true. As strong as men are, deep down, they tend to be as sensitive if not more than women. I've heard alot of women say "he's great and it feels good, but I'm not getting all the way there." They're too afraid to tell the man that assuming that he will get angry.

• A lot of women have never had an orgasm , so they don't even know what they're looking for. How can you tell your man what to do, if you don't know and have specific ways to tell him? Men need concrete instructions and you need to be to be able to tell him without him having to guess. Take the time to learn what you want and love and teach him the way. I'm sure this will be the best learning experience he's ever had :).

• Many women are settling. Whether they want to admit or not, some women are content in their lack of orgasm and only consider the man's pleasure...and ladies...that simply isn't fair. Being intimate with someone is built for enjoyment from BOTH sides and it's the most amazing at the point when two people are satisfied.

Ladies, a man who cares about you, will care about pleasing you as well, sometimes, more than pleasing himself. If expressed with care and respect, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure that he takes you exactly where you need to be :).

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Have you've ever been in this situation? Ladies, sound off!


Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Closer to My Dreams...

My sister is almost 8 months pregnant.  As I look at her, I can only think of the process that she's gone through and is currently going through.  She started off in bliss, barely noticable with impatient anticipation of this little person to come.  The first few months were filled with planning and joy.  The next few months were filled with mild discomfort but happiness at the flutter going on inside of her.  This was real.  The life to come is real and that flutter just made it more so.  All of sudden, that mild discomfort was barely felt in comparison to movement of the life she was carrying and so desperately wanted.  How quickly things changed though.  The last few months have been miserable for her.  She's been uncomfortable, in pain, unable to sleep, afraid to laugh (pregnant women sometimes pee on themselves; unfortunate I know), and overall miserable.  At the point she is now, she can't wait to have this baby...and it got me thinking.  Why is it that when we're so close to what we want the most, it get unbearable?

Life is a lot like a woman who's pregnant.  You have a dream and then you conceive.  You do all that you can to make sure that when that dream is realized, it's perfect.  At the beginning, everything is smooth sailing, but toward the end, it becomes unbearable.  The closer you get, the less you can handle and the more difficult things become.  At this time is when you start having thoughts of giving up (even though you won't).  The load starts to become too heavy and you start to question all the thoughts that got you there in the first place. 

Diamonds burst under a lot of pressure.  They're dug until a beautiful diamond appears.  Often times, the true you will appear in the times of difficulty and this is when you will see how hard you're willing to work.  In as much pain as a mother is, she does not stop pushing.  She knows that the child she bears will be enough to eliminate the pain...and so will your dreams.  Know that the more difficult things get, the closer you are to birthing your dreams.  Know that the harder you work, the more enjoyment and fulfillment you'll have after all is said and done.

Today, I challenge you to fight through the pain of process and give birth to your purpose.



Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Keep Moving Forward

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of spending time with my best friends.  As usual, we played "catch-up" as we filled each other in on the latest happenings, break-throughs, struggles, dramas, and future plans. So many thoughts rushed through my head.  Mainly, during the news of things that weren't so great, I thought of how we all sat there, taking time from our lives, traveling from various places, to ensure that we made time...to have a great time.  By looking at us, you'd never think that we'd been going through as much as we were.  Regardless of what life gave us, we had no choice but to MOVE FORWARD.

Unfortunately, I've bared witness to friends and family losing loved ones within the past year and it was the toughest thing I've had to do thus far.  There's nothing that you can do but stand there with silent support.  At that moment, it seems like life will always be this way.  It seems that there is no way that you could ever laugh or enjoy life again.  Your mind knows that you'll feel different in a while, but your heart and your spirit can't fathom how you'll actually be able to really move past it.  Before you know it days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years.  Somehow, some way, you actually find a way to MOVE FORWARD.

The above are just a couple of examples of how you can look up and find yourself in a different place and in a further place than you were and than you thought you'd ever be.  In life, there's no choice but to move forward.  You can either make the best of your situation, work through it, and find the silver lining, or you can lay down and die.  I choose door #1...what about you?  You'll find that your seeds of strength blossom in the most difficult of times.   You will learn more about yourself and your ability to bounce back no matter what because the only true option is to MOVE FORWARD. 

Today, make the decision to look forward despite the circumstance.  You'll never know what lies ahead if you allow yourself to quicksand in your current situation.  Live. Laugh. Love.

Cheers to your next chapter of life!

Until next time....keep the forward movement

Nike Said It Best...JUST DO IT!

I'm going to do my best to be short and sweet (you know how that goes, lol), but I had to just share my shamefully obvious epiphany.  The phrase that comes to mind for me is "a wish is just a wish."  

Within the last few weeks, I've gotten the ball rolling on some of my personal projects...and don't you know, as soon as my efforts started matching my thoughts and desires, the ball rolled so quickly that it momentarily got away from me!  All the time spent wishing instead of doing, left me null and void and no closer to my goal.  The moment I started DOING and taking chances, things fell into place.

Oftentimes, people don't take the chance because they're scared of a possible negative outcome, but is that really anything to be afraid of?  If you send someone an email or ask someone a question, the worst they can say and/do is ignore you or say no.  My advice to you is to JUST DO IT!  You will find that when you place your actions alongside of your thoughts, they form a miraculous partnership and thus you MOVE FORWARD.

Get the ball rolling!  Call or email that contact you still haven't mustered up the confidence to reach out .  Go to that conference or put yourself out there.  You never know how far you can go if you don't throw caution to the wind and JUST DO IT!

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

A Penny for Your Thoughts...27 Thoughts....27 Pennies....

On the eve of my 27th birthday, I decided what better time to take a moment to reflect; Reflecting not only on me, but on everything.  As I think about the times earlier this year, and the previous years, I think of what I know now that I didn't know then.  Whether we want to admit it or not, as we progress in our adulthood, we are given the gift that is only granted with age...wisdom.  At this point in my life, I'm wiser than I've ever been and not just because of the age, but because of the experiences that have brought me this far.  I'm in the sharing mood, so I'll give you 27 of my thoughts :)...

1. No matter where you are, you're supposed to be here.  This may be one of the hardest things to believe, but believe me, God has you where he wants you, and He'll bring you where you need to be.

2. Cherish the people in your life.  Just when you think they'll always be there...they're gone.

3. Procrastination leads to missed opportunities and a life full of "what-ifs."  The only time that's guaranteed is the one you reside in...so do it NOW.

4. Honor those who are there for you in the bad times.  It's so easy to love and be there for someone while they're in an upward motion or on top of the mountain, but to love and be there for someone in the rawest and lowest point isn't as glamorous or easy, so don't dismiss those people.  They're the ones that truly count and deserve more than you can give.

5. Simply reach out and make the effort.  The things that are meant for you will find you and grab hold.

6. Don't wait until someone dies to celebrate their existence.

7. Take risks.  If it works out for you, that's great.  If it doesn't, you know not to do that again and do something else.

8. Helping others will ensure that you'll be taken care of.  It may not be from that same person, but you will be.

9. Assiting someone in the things that they want to accomplish will not only make you feel good, but it will definetly propel you to accomplish your own goals.

10. Getting started is the hardest part.  Whether that be work, obtaining something or going to the gym.  As soon as you get over that initial hurdle, it's smooth sailing.

11. Ask questions.  When I was younger, I used to be scared to ask questions because I didn't want to look stupid.  Well, being loud and wrong is even more stupid.  The one who is foolish, is the one who thinks they know everything...and no one does.

12. Just because you look good, doesn't mean you're healthy.  Get active, eat healthier, and get check-ups.  If you don't have your health, you have nothing.

13. Impulse is fun, but it's not always the smartest thing.  Think certain things through.

14. Allow yourself to cry, feel, get frustrated....but MOVE ON.  I used to allow little things to consume more time than they deserved.  We are human, so sometimes you may have a moment that has that negative emotion; however allow it to be a MOMENT, and move forward.  Don't allow what should have been a small moment to keep you from a longer and more fulfilling one.

15. Visualization works.  Try it.  At first, it may feel weird, but if you stick to it, you'll find that it becomes something that you look forward to.  Also, write things down.  Nothing beats the moment you experience something that you wrote down and visualized.  

16. Dont' spread yourself too thin.  Yes, you want to help, but you can't be everything to everyone.  By doing that, you are nothing to yourself...and no good can come from that.

17. Learn about different cultures and people.  It makes you more marketable in the things you do and expands your knowledge.

18. Learn to check yourself.  Someone shouldn't have to call you out on something everytime.  Learn your faults, acknowledge them, and learn to catch your 'crazy' before anyone else does.  By doing this, you'll minimize the negative, because you'll recognize it.

19. Make and do some things on your bucket list.  I've recently started that and it's wonderful.  Life is short, so live it to the fullest.

20. Have a burning desire, goal, and reason for the things you want to accomplish.  If there's nothing to really drive you to get to where you want to, you'll accomplish nothing and remain in neutral for the rest of your life.

21. Do something out of your element.  Just because that's what you've been doing, doesn't mean that it's the best or only thing out there.  Expand your horizons.

22. Travel.  I love to travel.  The newness of a place never fails to amaze me.  Also, travel out of the country if you can.  There's a whole world out there that believe or not, you're oblivious to.

23. Take time for yourself.  Turn off the cell phone.  I know it's hard, but it'll replenish you and give you more energy when you re-join the world.

24. Dream big.  Don't ever let anyone make your dreams sounds unattainable.  You're the only one who has to believe....and so it will be.

25. Surround yourself with positive people who are the same accord as you.  Also, surround yourself with those who have vastly surpassed where you are and where you initially wanted to go.  They can help you more than someone who hasn't reached their goal.  Realistically, the blind leading the blide, never got them anywhere. 

26.  Trust God.  You may not understand, but everything happens for a reason. Hold on to what you know, pray, believe, and move forward.

27.  LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.  This is what life is all about.  When you feel tired of your circumstances, continue to LIVE, knowing the bad is only for a moment in time.  When things are so difficult, where nothing is funny, LAUGH anyway knowing that the sounds of your laughter is calling into existence happier moments.  When you feel betrayed, uncared for, unloved, continue to LOVE anyway.  True love breaks barriers, surpasses  every emotion and logic, and lasts a lifetime.

These are the things that I've done and experienced and I hope that if you haven't done or experience any of them, you do.  Life is ultimately about growing and with your growth, you'll make the choices that will allow you to live the exact life you were born for.  SEE YOU AT THE TOP.

Until next time...keep the forward movement.

The Little Things...

Last night, I got some news...some bad news.  Someone I knew a really long time ago died.  He was 26 and a few months shy of being 27.  In a few days, I'll be 27 too.  The moment I heard about this, I felt so sad...not only for him and his family, but for myself as well.  Now, it's obvious why I'd be sad for him, but you may be wondering why I'd be sad for myself; it's the little things.  God will make it plain and He did. As I complain about where I am a few days before my 27th birthday, someone just lost the chance to see their 27th birthday. When people say it could always be worse and you shrug it off, remember...it really could always be worse.

Often times, when you're going through something, people will tell you to be positive and look on the bright side.  Within your frustrated place, you sometimes can't see the bright side even though deep down you know it's there.  When people notice this, they begin pointing it out to you: your health, your mind, family, friends, etc...  Even though you know this, you ignore it.  It does nothing to improve your outlook or momentary attitude.

Now I've heard that speech at my low moments, and I've given that speech to someone experiencing a low moment and never did it hit me like it did last night.  Here I was, ignoring all the great things that I had in my life and focusing on where I thought I'd be, when someone who's exactly my age will never, ever, get to accomplish all the things he aspired to do.  He no longer has his health, mind, family, or friends.  He can no longer wake up and be thankful for another day...he can no longer wake up.

The little things, or the things that we think are so little, shouldn't be taken for granted.  Just because you've always been breathing, doesn't mean you'll always be breathing.  Just because you've always been able to think clearly doesn't mean you'll always think clearly.  Just because you've always had family and friends, doesn't mean you will always have them.  We must be grateful for everything that we have even if it's not exactly what you want or you're not exactly where you want to be.  You are always exactly where you need to be and your constant gratitude is guaranteed to propel further than where you thought you'd be. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

I Just Want to be Successful....

This morning, while surfing the web, I ran across this video.  Now, I run across tons of videos on a daily basis, but a lot of them I ignore.  For whatever reason (obviously meant to be), I felt compelled to view this one.  I'm so glad that I did.  This man discussed the importance of the your sacrifice in obtaining success and this video put a mirror up to my actions.  So many of us want to be successful, but few of us actually go to the extremes that it takes to obtain it.  You get tired so you go to sleep.  You have a bad day, so you take a 'break' and tell yourself that you'll work on it tomorrow...except tomorrow never comes.  You come up with another 'bright idea' and start working on that...not realizing that A. you haven't finished what you started and B. your impulsive antics are the reason why you haven't been successful at anything.  You say you're doing all you can, but you're not...and you know it.  You allow your frustration to pull you away and allow you to find comfort in the very place that you are trying to escape. 

After you view the video below, think about where you are in your quest for success.  Are you doing enough?  What can you do differently?  I'm taking an inventory of myself and finding out that I'm not liking all of the things that I'm coming across.  I need to do more...and you probably do too.  The man in this video said it best: "You need to want success as much as you want to breathe," and I most certainly do.




Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Money Saving Tips-Every Little Bit Counts

In today's world and especially in the economy we live in, saving money is on top of everyone's list.  With things in the shape they're in, even the richest of the rich are finding ways to cut corners.  The mindset of most is "every little bit counts"....and it does.  Lately, I've been thinking about how people have so many 'miscellaneous' funds that they have no clue where it goes.  You only realize when your money is gone, and even then, you're wondering where it went off to.  With this in mind, I've come up with a few tips that you can implement daily to help you guard and balance those runaway funds.

Tip #1: Brew your own coffee: Now, you have to understand,  as much as it pains you to hear this, it pains me even worse to actually have to say it, but it's true.  On average, Americans spend over $800 on coffee alone and this is at the bottom of the curve.  This doesn't include if you actually get some food along with it.  If you're a lover of the fancier drinks at Starbucks, then you're looking at spending over $1825!  Wow!  Think about it.  What could you do with all of that money?  It's easy to ignore it because everyday it's not in the form of a great lump sum, so it doesn't hurt as much.  When you do the math, it's a completely different story.

Tip #2: Bring your lunch and learn to make your dinner.  Food costs way more than we think it does.  Five dollars here, 7 dollars there, adds up...and quickly.  Before you know it, you spend an amount that could purchase you a substantial amount of groceries.  Those groceries can save you from having to buy food everday and therefore save you money.  Not to mention, it's a great bonus for your health as well. 

Tip #3: Pick a day to shower yourself.  Let's be real.  Being an adult means responsibilities and responsibilities don't allow for many personal indulgent wants.  What happens in going day after day without getting anything that you want, is that you start to suffer and crave those things regardless of the lack of necessity.  People need some of their wants.  That's just the way things are and there's no need to feel bad about that.  The key is balance.  When you deprive yourself of that, you become like a person on an insane diet.  You go from eating barely anything to eating everything in sight and end up worse than you were before.  Same things goes for spending.  By choosing a day to treat yourself, you quench the thirst for your new "it-toy" and still stay on top of all that needs to be done.  Do I hear a win-win?...yup, I think I do. :)

These tips sound simple, but getting yourself into the habit of NOT spending unnecessary funds, is actually pretty intense.  When you do, however, you'll be in a better fiscal position.  Below is a great video of Bob Proctor and his secret to wealth.  It'll give you plenty of thoughts with your newly increased fiscal freedom!  Enjoy...
                         

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Choose What You Want in the Future....Now

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

I was sitting in church Sunday morning and during the sermon, something was mentioned about choices.  I can't exactly remember the specifics, but it got my mind spinning.  I started thinking of all the decisions I've made in the past, good and bad, and how each one, individually, catapulted me to where I am today.  Oftentimes, we see where we are and if it's not in a good place, we blame it on life in general, but few of us really take the time to see that where we are now, is the direct reflection of all of the choices we've made.  As I sat there, I started thinking of the good and progressive choices that I've made.  I felt such pride in those choices and was happy that I made them.  Then I began to think about the negative choices that I've made.  I immediately whinced at the thought of them.  Mentally, I tried to run away from them and made up award-winning reasons to excuse my actions.  After I went through my mental rant, my sanity whispered "it's your fault.  You made that choice, no matter what the options were."  I rolled my eyes at that thought, but it was true....and I had to face that.

For the very first time, I took FULL  responsibility for my choices.  In the past, I told myself I did take responsibility, but I really didn't.  I made myself believe that there was no better choice, but this time, I finally knew it was all me.  I thought about the choices and actions I made in the past that got me the positive things that I had.  I wouldn't have gotten those things if I had chosen to either do the opposite or nothing at all.  Then, I traveled to the dark side and thought of the wrong decisions that took me to where I am.  How much different would my life be if I hadn't made that choice?  It's pointless to stress over that because A. I'll never know and B. there's nothing I can do to change that now.  What I can change are the choices I make from here on out.  If you are consistantly in the frame of mind that every single choice you make will determine your future, you'd choose more carefully.  With that in mind, I think of the endless possibilities and doors that I will open as soon as my choices coincide with that path. 

Think about your past choices.  Are you happy with where you are?  If you are, then that's wonderful, but a lot of people aren't.  Sit and think about the things that you could have done differently.  Do you see how they brought you to the place that you are?  Now what are you going to do differently?  Remember, the place that you're in now, is not the place that you have to be.  You just have to make that personal, executive decision and go from there.  I'll leave you with a few of my favorite quotes.

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.”

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

'There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.”

Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.”

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Break Time

If you're anything like me, you want to be everything to everyone.  You bend over backwards to make sure that everyone is pleased.  Whether it takes you away from your personal projects or dare I say sanity , you do it anyway.  If you finally have a moment, where you feel like saying "no" or taking a break, you feel badly about the person(s) you aren't helping even though you're barely hanging on yourself.  Your issues take a back seat and you go full force to assist everyone else in theirs, but when is enough, enough? 

Whenever I feel like taking a "time out", I feel bad because I think in some way I'm being selfish, but while I feel that, my mind also says "you can't be of service to anyone if you're a mess yourself," and that puts things into perspective for me.  In order to be the best me I can be, and be great for others, I must be great to myself, and sometimes that means taking the solitary time to figure things out.  Whether it be through prayer, meditation, shutting your phone off, or going away somewhere, you must take the time to close yourself off to all things and people, and make sure you have yourself together....and if you don't, use the time to get yourself together.

The last few days, I've taken the time to think, focus, and pray.  Those are the only things that I did, other than what I absolutely had to do, and it's been quite refreshing.  It's helped me to push out the negative and focus on the positive.  You see, taking a break isn't supposed to be hurtful or negative.  It's supposed to be enlightening and refreshing. When you do it the right way, with the right intentions, it will refuel and catapult you into a better frame of mind and further directions.

Go forth, refuel, take a break, and relax... 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Why do we fear the things we can't control?

Why do we fear things that we can't control?  I'm literally sitting here on a
flight and this is what comes to mind immediately for me after my most recent
dramatic performance when we were having some turbulence.  FYI, I LOVE to travel!  I just love experiencing new places and even if it's not new, I love the brief getaway from my day-to-day.  As much as I love to travel though, I'll admit that I'm not a fan of flying.  Actually, I'm pretty scared of it.  Because I  have people to see and things to do,(lol) I take myself through the torture without thinking about it.  A few minutes ago, I was grabbing whoever was sitting in 25D, and now I'm writing about it.  After I finished my dramatic piece, award winning I might add (lol), stopped sweating, and returned to my regular breathing pattern, I started wondering why it is that we fear the very things we have absolutely no control over.  Is it the lack of control or the possible outcome that we clearly don't want?  Even though I know that this thought wouldn't make me feel any better, it didn't stop me from having it: if this plane really went down, what the hell could I possibly do to change that?  The answer is NOTHING.  That truth didn't do a thing for my racing heart, but it definetly spoke to my mind. Flying is scary for a lot of people so I know a lot you understand how I feel.

We can apply fear to many parts of our lives. You fear the possibility of so many things that it keeps you from fulfiling your God given destiny.  A lot of the things that we fear are so infrequent, but we let the mere thought of them scare us away.  What's worse is, it can and often does immobilize us.  If you stop and think about how little contol you truly have over the inevitable, you
start living your life with much more gusto and reach heights you never dreamed of.  By overcoming fear, you'll find yourself more successful and find things less scary.  Last year, I came across a website and the lady who it belonged to happened to be a public speaking coach.  I've been told many times that I have the gift of gab and would be a great speaker, but believe it or not, I can be pretty shy.  I started thinking of all the things that I wanted to accomplish and knew that speaking publically would be something I'd need to fall in love.....and so I did. I had to write an essay and send in a video explaining why I should be chosen. That was the part that made me uneasy, but I knew that I had nothing to lose so I entered and whaddya know, I won! I was sooooo excited and glad to be making steps toward improving myself. Below is my entry video.......



I'll let u finish laughing....done?....this was my last video 3 1/2 months
later......



Not quite as humorous huh?, lol....that's because I conquered my fear! I didn't
allow it or a possiblity of anything, especially something I had no control over,
keep me from moving forward. Whether I tried it or not, the contest would've
gone on with or without me. A smart someone would've reaped all that I
had....luckily for me, I was that smart someone :). Not only did I increase my
skillset, but I mastered it enough to be able to instruct others as well. That
small step of faith and away from fear, turned into a gift that I can keep on
giving.  

Remember, you can control nothing outside of yourself, and even after a few
'spirits', you barely do that, lol. What you can control is your actions and
reactions.....so do just that. Act out of faith and not out of fear.
 



Until next time....keep the forward movement.....

A "First Place Girl"

A good friend of mine sent a link to me last night and I didn't see it until this morning.  When I read this article, I couldn't helped but laugh, and not because it was funny, but because it was so true and I could completely identify with it.  I'm going to make this short and sweet....I'm going to try at least, lol.  Ladies, I know that we all have that one guy who is THAT GUY.  We put up with things from him that we'd never thought we would or that we'd slay someone else for.  Because he is the man you love, you put up with bulls***...and frankly, it's not fair.  You love him though, so you give chance after chance, hoping that he finally gets it.  Before you know it, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years.  He's the only one you want to be with so you close yourself off to other men.  You negatively dissect yourself to less than nothing because there just HAS to be something wrong with you, otherwise he'd be with you.  You do whatever he likes and chooses him before yourself and in your mind, that's further proving how much you love him and what a catch you are, but he still hasn't caught you.  Hell, he hasn't picked you up enough to be able to drop you.  Inevitably, you have forgotten to put yourself in FIRST place. 

My advice to you is to keep yourself open.  It's not fair to close yourself off to possible suitors.  No your feelings for that man don't go away, but you two aren't together and trust and believe that he isn't acting like you two are together either, so you need to do the same.  I understand your natural desire to act 'committed' and only see him, but do your best to remain open.  The last few weeks, I've thought of my past relationships and someone special and although I love that man, I'm not committed to him or anyone else and gave myself the same advice....and did just that.

Regardless of your feelings for someone, if nothing has changed, (i.e. the status of the two of you together), then you have to change.  It doesn't diminish your feelings for him or is in any way reflective of how you feel,  but it shows that you acknowledge the reality and are now choosing YOU instead of him.  If you're meant to be with him, God will mend that relationship in due time, and in your season of love, but until then, DO YOU.  The last few weeks, allowing myself to be courted has reminded me of my great qualities that I've forgotten.  It reminded me of how much I was wanted.  There was no beating around the bush or me "guestimating" how they felt, because they told me.  At the beginning, men will tell you in order to ensure that they get you, but oftentimes, it dissipates and you rarely hear it.  It was weird because this amazing and phenomenol woman that was being described was ME!  It revitalized me and my thoughts of who I am... and it felt damn good!

There's a great article on making yourself a "First Place Girl" (Click here to read this FAB article!)and this is what I read this morning that prompted me to write this entry.  You may not be coming in last, but if the man you love isn't putting you first, for whatever reason, you may as well be last because almost doesn't count.  One of my favorite quotes is "Love is just the beginning and love is not enough."  If you take the time to really understand this quote, you'll know exactly what it means.  Think of highly of yourself and act accordingly.  Eventually, you'll get that first place ribbon for the prize that you are.

Catch me if you can..... <3

Until next time...keep the forward movement...