Forgive Quickly

Lately I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness.  For some reason, that word keeps lingering in my spirit.  In a world where life changes in an instant, you would think it's something that's done often, but it's not.  I must admit, it's something that I don't do well or often enough.  Forgiveness is one of the harder things to do.  It's so much easier to hold on to things. Late last week, I started thinking about why it is that I hold on to things.  I went back to my childhood and realized that I'd always been this way.  I just held on to things and never really let them go.  I thought that I Iet them go by repressing them, but I always held on to them deep down.  As I wondered why, I realized that I either wasn't truly forgiving people or would just hold on to it by habit.  When I look back on certain situations or rifts I've had, they weren't as big of a deal as I ended up making them.  By holding on to them, I made them a much bigger issue. 

I've decided to really work on not only forgiving, but forgiving quickly.  Time has the chance to help or hurt a situation and I believe that by learning to forgive quicker, a lot of snow-ball situations can be avoided.  It will help to stregthen your relationships whether it be with family, friends, or lovers.  Not too long ago, I was reading an article that was giving tips on things you need to work on before getting married.  Coincidentally, forgiving quickly was on the list.  The author explained that when you're married and living with someone everyday, you can't stay upset for a long period of time like you could with a boyfriend/girlfriend.  The stakes are higher in marriage and if you want it to be successful, you have to genuinely forgive and move on.  Otherwise, things will build and eventually, topple over.  I hadn't thought about that, but it made so much sense.  I also applied that to other relationships as well.  If you think about your great friendships and relationships overall, the ones that last aren't perfect, but you have your issues, deal with them, and move on.  Overall, the relationship is stronger and lasts longer.


Above all, forgiveness is ultimately for yourself.  Often times, when you're upset or carrying around anger, you'll find that the person you're angry with appears to be happy.  Whether they are harboring the same feelings or not, they clearly have made the decision not to allow anything to keep them from enjoying their lives and continuing on their path.  Holding on to things only keeps you down, not the person you're mad at.  It frees you and ultimately, you'll feel better.  Just  yesterday, I practiced letting go and forgiving.  For a moment, after a not-so-nice discussion with someone, I threw away my plans for the day.  Then I took a moment and thought about it.  No matter what, it wasn't going to interefere anymore with me then it already had.  I let go and enjoyed my afternoon.  Forgiving quickly isn't something that will hapen overnight.  It's a change that's taken in baby steps that will eventually change you overall and helped you be more fulfilled with others...and yourself.  I urge you to try it, situation by situation, and before you realize, it'll be part of the newer, more forgiving you.


Until next time...keep the forward movement...