Patiently Waiting....

Quick, steady perservearance.  Even-tempered care.  An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.  The bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. All of these define one of the most difficult virtues we struggle with....patience.  From the moment, you could understand, the art of being patient was explained; whether through your mother, a friend, quotes, or even the Bible, there are a number of things that point to need of being patient.  In a world where we know that time always wins, why is it so hard to wait?

At this point, if you've been following me, you know that I aspire to do many things.  I write for a couple magazines, am a creative editor for a couple more, was recently featured on a talk show (POV Talkshow ft. Stephanie Benoit), am working on my website, and am working on motivational speaking.  I'm believing God that it is just the beginning.  Although, I wanted things to get moving for so long, when I looked back at who I was a few years ago, nothing would have worked at that time.  The person that I was then had not gone through as many vital learning experiences as I have now.  One night, as I was laying in bed, something clicked.  I reliazed that the person who I was then could never successfully be the person who I am now.  My passsion is to help people through empowerment and motivation.  The struggles that I went through positioned me to soften my heart and increase my empathy.  It caused me to understand the struggle, rather than just talk about it.  It caused me to change my ways in a way that was only fitting for the torch that I would carry.  To really be successful in my chosen path, especially to the degree that I want, I have to become the very change and evolution that I desire to help others with.  Years ago, if I would have taken this career path, I would've inevitably failed.  I wasn't ready, but now, I'm walking in my purpose on purpose.  I can handle this walk now because I  began my journey at the right TIME.

Relationships....there are a billion ways to discuss this one topic.  So many variables go into meeting and being with the love of your life.  Love, true love can be dangerously consuming.  Sometimes, without you knowing, that desire for someone can hinder the person you're supposed to become.  The issue is not whether you two are made for each other.  The issue is the growth that fails to occur, because of it. Everyone (along with myself included) has been in love.  You know, the love that silently crushes you when you ponder the possibility of no longer being with them. You envelope yourself in thoughts of them and whether you realize it or not, that relationship may be the hiccup to your next step in life.  At the moment that the relationship ends, you are devastated; broken even.  You wrestle with thoughts of why that person even entered your life if they weren't there to stay for good.  What you can't see is that it's not the right TIME.  You must grow separately to be able to grow together into something that will be everlasting.  It just may not be that you're not meant to be with that person.  It just may be that it's not the right time and if God has it so, that he or she is who you belong with, then it will be...at the right time...with a little PATIENCE. 

It's a tough thing to wait, but it's worth it.  Great things don't come easily and without work and patience.  Don't be discouraged by the things you don't acquire on your own time.  If a mother decides to have her baby at 6 months instead of 9 and the baby doesn't make it, does it mean she wasn't meant to mother this beautiful life?  No, it means that at 6 months wasn't the right time.  As a baby grows and develops, it's gathers nutrients and stretches for the survival of a lifetime.  The same goes for us.  That wait time is utero.  We are growing and stretching to be able to sustain the blessings we are given. 

As 2011 comes to a close, and 2012 shines brightly on all your desires, remember to exercise a little patience.  All great things come in due TIME. 

Happy New Year everyone! :)

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Going Out With a Bang....

So it's the beginning of December and all you can think is "where has the year gone?!"  It feels like we were just clanging glasses of champagne, screaming "happy new year" and leaning in for that oh-so-important smooch.  Many people are also ransacking their place looking for that pivotal, resolution list that was supposed to change their life and make 2011 the best year ever!!!!  Well...if you haven't crossed off many things on that list, you've found out, (and the hard way I might add), that without hard work and consistent effort, you can't accomplish things...and haven't.  

I know that at this time of year, people are thinking "maybe I'll just start my new goals next year," but there's no need to wait!  You can start right now!  Here are some tips to getting a head start on 2012.

• Revamp that list- So you accomplished a few things...great!  What about those other important tasks/goals?  Study your list and choose 2 things that you are definite you can accomplish before the year's end.  BE REALISTIC!  Do not choose something that you aren't sure you can complete.  This will only push you further back on the road to accomplish your goals.  Not only will completing the tasks take some things off of your list, it will positively propel you into the new year!  
• Assess your purpose- In the time span of a year, a lot of things can change.  Make sure that you're still en route to the same desires that you had the year prior.  Not knowing and changing mid-way through the year will kill your momentum. Know where you want to go and do whatever prepartory things it takes in order to start your year off right.  Last year, I decided to get some goals done early and it did wonders for this year.   
• Target Date- For all your goals, have a target date.  A target date makes you accountable.  When you put an action date in the atmosphere, you put yourself in a place where you have to get moving on your goals.  Having those dates will get you revved up to make this upcoming year your most successful!
• Action Plan- I love these!  Within every coaching session I conduct, I compile an action plan with my client in order to have a blueprint to assist them in completing their goal.  Often times, we have great ideas, but have no idea how to accomplish them. When we get stuck at the unprogressive place, we end up procrastinating not because we don't want to do it, but because we don't know how.  A plan of action will help guide you in the best way to go for your goal!

Yes, 2012 will be awesome if you want it to, but 2011 isn't gone yet!  Use each day to the fullest and work on your dream NOW.  Everyday is a gift, therefore we can't get caught up in the unknown of the future.  The only moment you have is the one that you're in, so use it and be grateful for it.  The greatest thing you can do is become the person that God created you to be.  So what are you waiting for?!  Get started and go out with a bang!  

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

What's Your Review?

Reviews are something that is so small, but can make a major impact.  Think about it.  Before you go see a movie, visit a city, or eat at a restaurant, you often check out the reviews, and based on the overall consensus, you indulge, or you don't.  Reviews aren't only for places and things; they're also for people.  Every action you take adds to your personal review.  How many stars do you think you have?   

There was someone I used to work with who redefined what an 'awful' co-worker was. This person was one of the rudest people I had ever met---to say the least.  The majority of co-workers didn't get along with this person either.  With little regard to the feelings of others, or dare I say, RESPECTING others, this person meandered around without a care in the world.   A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from a friend of mine.  Coincidentally, the miserable co-worker was applying for a new job and my friend was the one who was interviewing this person.  Small world!  Wanting to ensure that she made the right decision, my friend asked me to chime in on the real deal and let her know if it would be the right choice.  I really wished that I had something positive to say, but unfortunately, the negative came to my mind...and fast.  After, I shared my experience with this former co-worker, my friend politely stated "Okay.  I'll be moving the resume to the top of the trash when I get to the office on Monday morning."  Wow.  A few honest words from me and bam!....missed opportunity.  Little did this person know that I would oneday be the one person to vouch for their reputation and work ethic. 

I took this thought even further.  I have a strong work ethic and in building my personal brand, I understand what it takes to make myself known and reach my desires.  I do a lot.  I am editor for 2 magazines as well as a contributor for several others.  I'm a Certified Life Coach, a motivational speaker, and am currently co-authoring a book.  These are just a few of the things I'm working on.  When you enter a new industry in which you have no experience, you MUST be willing to sacrifice in order to build your resume.  What does that mean?  It means starting from the ground up and possibly taking advantage of opportunities that provide a wealth of experience that will generate income in the future.  In lamens terms, doing it for free now, lol.  I've had many people ask me how I can work so hard for certain things and not get paid for it.  After I explain that there are other ways of being compensated, especially when you have a long term goal, I also explain the importance of this: with every action you take, you are creating your very own review.  My work ethic is naturally who I am, but it is important to make sure that you are giving 100% in everything you do.  You see, my review, won't be "Stephanie is cool, but her work ethic sucks."  I can rest assured that all my hard work, my positive attitude, and my genuine desire to be of service to others, will always provide me with the best review possible from everyone I work with, every life I touch, and every word I write.  I can be confident that no matter who you ask, they'll have something positive to say.  My review will cause you to want to see me, meet me, talk to me, etc. 

I want to close with this: you never know who knows who.  Your big break may lie in the words of someone you didn't even know was connected to your opportunity.  Don't dismiss the things or people that you deem unimportant and uninfluential.  Allow your daily actions to create your best review and watch doors open up in your favor for your future!

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Sweet Treat Friday!

What's better than a Friday?  A sweet treat to go along with the end of your week!  Some of you may or may not know, but I love to cook and bake.  I grew up watching my mother cook everything under the sun sprinkled with carribean flavor, so it was natural for me to pick up cooking.  I love trying new things and one of my favorite places to search for new recipes is The Food Network. Looking to give in to my sweet tooth, I searched for a good dessert recipe and stumbled on Paula Deen's Peach Cobbler.  I tried this a long time ago, but wanted to do my own thing in terms of the ingredients.  Two words: bad idea!  For those who don't really bake, know that baking is more of an exact science.  When cooking, you have more room to sprinkle a little bit of this and add a little bit of that, but when baking, every measurement needs to be exact.  The smallest change could ruin your recipe. 

This peach cobbler is perfect way to end your week, cozy up on the couch, and rest.  Now that the cold weather is upon us, it's the best time to warm up with this delicious dessert!

Paula Deen's Peach Cobbler

Ingredients

4 cups peeled, sliced peaches

2 cups sugar, divided

1/2 cup water

8 tablespoons butter

1 1/2 cups self-rising flour

1 1/2 cups milk

Ground cinnamon, optional

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine the peaches, 1 cup sugar, and water in a saucepan and mix well. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from the heat.

Put the butter in a 3-quart baking dish and place in oven to melt.

Mix remaining 1 cup sugar, flour, and milk slowly to prevent clumping. Pour mixture over melted butter. Do not stir. Spoon fruit on top, gently pouring in syrup. Sprinkle top with ground cinnamon, if using. Batter will rise to top during baking. Bake for 30 to 45 minutes.

To serve, scoop onto a plate and serve with your choice of whipped cream or vanilla ice cream

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

The Light of the Dark.....

Darkness. When one thinks of the dark, you think of nothingness. The darkness is seen as cold, frightening, and eerily blinding. What can you see in the dark? Most would say 'nothing' but the darkness can show you more than you think. It's really up to what you're willing to see.

A few nights ago, my power went out. At first, I was startled. I grabbed my phone, feverishly dialed the electric company, and prepared to engage in a verbal war (dramatic, I know, lol). After much back and forth, and many promises that the problem is being worked on, I hung up and decided to accept my momentary fate. As I lay there in the stillness, I began to think. Everyday we are bombarded with the soundtrack of life. This playlist is filled with traffic noises, the humdrum beats of office machinery, the misery that lies in the news, and the negativity that spews from the mouth of so many people around you. The list goes on and on. If you notice, a lot of what surrounds us on a daily basis isn't the most positive and much of it you can't control. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it, but sometimes, the mere presence of the negative is exhausting. Couple those things with the ongoing issues in your personal life, and it can send your mind into overdrive. When you come home, there are another set of things that can trigger your thoughts. The tv, the radio, the phone, the computer...all of these things offer their two-cents on where your mind should be. And as much we may say that we need a mental time-out, we rarely get the chance to take one.

As I laid in the dark, I found no choice but to take my "time-out." In that time, I was forced to face my true thoughts. You know, the ones you run from throughout the day that always find a way to catch you at night; the ones that force you to face your truths. I had nowhere to run, so I didn't. In the dark, so much light was shed. It exposed the truly important things. It's difficult to see how trivial some things are until you have even less and with that realization, I became even more grateful. I began to thank God in the dark for the things He's done and given me, and for everything else that was on the way! Most importantly, I thanked Him that this was a momentary power lapse, versus some people who can only afford to live in the dark. The darkness for me that night became the light that exposed me to really see.

You may not have a power outage that forces you to be still, but it is in the quiet of those dark moments that you really see. In the upcoming week, I urge you to create your own make-shift blackout. Don't run from your thoughts...fall into the arms of them. Remember the important things and be grateful for everything, good and bad, for the experiences of the bad provides you with the empiricism that allows for a better experience in the future, void of the same mistakes. Lay in the dark...and let the light in.

Until next time...keep the forward movement... 

Creativity Works- Written for Kidmunicator

So you want to be an author. You’ve been writing for years and are constantly celebrated for your effortless, God-given talent. Well, there’s no time like the present to publish. If you want to become an author, but aren’t sure how, follow these few tips to turn your creative writing into your own book!

1. Compile Your Work: If you’re planning on authoring a book, chances are, you’ve already written a lot of pieces. Organize your narratives, articles, etc. and take note of your strengths. Consider publishing a compilation of your works as a book if they follow similar themes. If not, learn your writing strengths, and focus on topics and the style that would assist in producing your best work. By doing this, you’ll not only be able to learn the positives and negatives of your writing style, but it may jog up a great idea for a possible book.

2. Do Your Research: Nowadays, there are plenty of avenues when it comes to the world of self-publishing. With all the companies out, which do you choose? Be sure to research at least three different companies that you would consider. Weigh the pros and cons and compare different incentives, rights, and profit possibilities, prior to signing on the dotted line. Choosing the right company can be a major factor in the success of your career as an author.

3. Talk to Other Authors: Don’t re-invent the wheel! There’s no better source of advice than picking the brain of someone who has done it before you! They are filled with not only the knowledge you find online, but also the blind spots and pitfalls that you may not know until you experience them! Gathering information from others will allow you to be well-informed and ensure that you have a great experience!

For information on the Kidmunicator program, visit Kidmunicator

Watch Your Back....

Gossip. Slandering reputations. Name calling. Judgement. Nope...I'm not discussing the latest episode of your favorite soap opera.  Those are some of those words that embodied my week.  Worse off, those words were tossed around about me.  Go ahead and gasp...because that's exactly what I did. Oblivious to the thoughts of a particular person, I was taken a-back, but the way I bounced back let me know I've the strongest that I've ever been and my personal growth is as apparent as the sunlight.

Lately, I been privied to information about things that were being said about me by a particular individual.  Not one for throwing anyone under the bus, I decided to keep my mouth shut and be more aware of this miserable person.  I kept thinking to myself "if I could just hear her myself, I'd be able to address it without involving anyone else."  Well, God had it so that he set up a situation where I had to go look for something in a place that I usually never go into.  As I was rifling through papers, the individual walked into an office and proceeded to speak of every aspect of me from the way I did certain things, to the way I look, to my door being shut, to the clothes that I wear, to the heels that I click down the hallway in.  As I stood there aghast, I contemplated walking into the room and exercising my less "demure" side, but I soon realized that, that is probably what she'd want me to do, and it would also make me look bad and unprofessional.  

As I went throughout my day, I was so upset that I physically became warm and snapped at innocent bystanders all around.  The most upsetting part was the fact that I truly never spoke ill of her.  Why do some people feel the need to bring others down for no particular reason?  What is it that is so unhappy inside that leads one to feel that the only way to evoke some happiness is to belittle others?  At that moment, when I realized that it was more of a deficiency in her than anything that truly had to do with me, I felt sorry for her.  

As sorry as I felt, I wasn't about to let it go unnoticed, so I set some things into motion that allowed her to know that her behavior wasn't okay and I wasn't going to accept it.  People can only do the things that you allow, so I made a point to have the situation addressed and hopefully, for her own sake, she got the message.  After I did that, I decided to release it.  Holding on to anger and frustration, only holds you down.  

For a few days, I felt like I had to "watch my back" because when you are betrayed, your guards come up and your trust goes all the way down, but as the situation played out, it taught me a valuable lesson.  When you're being genuine and true, you don't have to watch your back because God will watch it for you.  Things will work out in a way that has the situation take care of itself and more fluidly than you ever could.  The struggle may be uneasy, but I always advice others and try to live by this quote: Don't get caught up in the struggle; get caught in the lesson.  Lesson Learned. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...