Selfish or Selfless?

Me, me, me. I have to take care of me. If I don't take care of me, who will? I have to do things for myself first, before I can do anything for anybody else. If you walk past people on any given day, you're bound to hear, at some point, someone uttering one of these phrases. It is our newest mantra: I can be no good to anyone else, if I'm no good to myself first. Much of these sayings are true, but when does it cross the line from being selfless to selfish?

Everyday, I work on deepening my relationship with God. I figure any great relationship has awesome communication, so that's what I work on; developing and strengthening my communication through prayer, with Him. Most people, myself included, have our standard prayers and the things that we desire and pray for. Yes we may sprinkle in prayers for others and for those we care for, but never do we forget our desires and needs. Well, a few weeks ago, I started thinking about going on a prayer fast for a very special member of my family. I don't know why it entered my mind, but it did, and although I tried to ignore it, the idea kept resurfacing. With several "coincidental" confirmations, I found myself challenged to do it for 7 days, but to not only pray for the original person I had in mind, but to devote all of my prayers, every single one this week, to various people. Whew! I breathed hard and fought the idea. I thought "with all I have going on, could I afford that?" Would God forget about me and all that I needed Him for? As I thought about it, I decided to dismiss my initial reservations and fears, and immerse myself into this selfless act. The more I thought, the more excited I became. Something about putting myself aside and going to God on behalf of others, filled me in a way I've never experienced.

Throughout the week, I've found that there's a special joy and connection that comes from concerning yourself with the well-being of others with complete genuity and complete humility. Even though it's important not to forget yourself, it's also important to maintain balance and continue to lead by example, and sometimes that means, being selfless enough to be able to put yourself aside. Believe me, if you do it with all your heart and with utter and complete truth, you won't need to pray for blessings, because they'll find you and overtake you in more ways than one! That's the beauty of being selfless. It inspires others to do so and that energy finds you and envelopes your core. This week, I urge you to do one selfless deed. You will be amazed at how much you get out of putting someone else first!

Stop...Look back...and Smell the Roses....

Have you ever stopped to smell the roses? ...or even acknowledged that they exist? For those who don't know, this famous phrase refers to taking the time to stop, reflect, and appreciate what is...whatever that may be. So many people work toward a goal, or work on themselves, and rarely do they take the moment to breathe in the success that they've achieved or turn around to see how far they have come. Why is it that we work so hard, but find it so difficult to acknowledge the fruits of our labor?

For over a year, I've been working out consistently. Growing up, I played every sport imaginable and was always in great shape. Over the years, I stopped playing all those sports and began to get comfortable. I decided that I needed to get back out there, become active again, and develop some life long healthy habits. Initially I started working out just to do it, but after my body started to reap the beautiful benefits, I developed goals. Week after week, month and month, I easily surpassed my old goals and replaced them fresher, more difficult ones. I'll admit it...I've always been a little obsessive when it came to my body type. It's just always been one of those things that I've constantly created newer goals for and was never satisfied with. Even with the obvious physical changes that I've made, never have I once took the time to turn around and applaud myself for my hard work, consistency, and discipline...until it was pushed in my face. Earlier this week, a friend of mine tagged me in an old picture from her sister's wedding from a year and a half ago. I was in shock as I gazed at my old self in the picture. I thought "who was this woman looking back at me?" I was obviously larger and when I really thought about it, I didn't even realize I looked that way at that moment in time. As I looked at the picture, I lifted my eyes to the reflection in the mirror of my current self. "Wow", I thought. I've really changed. I look healthier and shapelier. All those times that I overcame being tired, annoyed, and just flat out not feeling like it, paid off. For the first time, I stopped and commended myself for the obvious progress I've made. Within that moment, I decided to soak up every drop of content that I felt about where I am and where I came from.

No doubt about it, the last few weeks have been surprisingly trying. I say surprising because it's not as if I haven't had difficult times before, however, this time, the difficulty has affected me in a different way. Being whisked away from the path you are on and being pulled further away from where you want to go, presents a dilemma that begs you to rise above the occasion. Sometimes, however, the stress of that can take a toll. For some reason (God), I find myself careless laughing and proclaiming all great things. I find myself able to see that when things are shaken up in this way, it's all in preparation to get you on top of your game for the next phase in life. I think what made me feel so eerie in this "calm" is the fact that in other times of struggle and frustration, I wasn't this "cool". At an earlier point in life, I would have been exhibiting my frustration through cursing and long lasting anger. I would've allowed myself to stay in a mental space that would've watered the seeds of disdain and negativity. Today, however...with the mental strength and composure that I possess, I acknowledge the positive first, dance in the rain, and anticipate the sun knowing that everything will work out for the greater good. As I thought about this, there presented another opportunity for me to turn around, stop, and pat myself on the back. I have GROWN. I've developed myself into a woman who will take life by horns and enjoy the ride...bumps and all. I'm completely aware that life isn't perfect and am still human, so it's not always sunshine and roses, but your dominant outlook is most important...and mine has changed for the better.

In this life, I encourage you to not only work hard, but to acknowledge your hard work. Not only will it show you how far you've come, it will give you the ammunition to shoot yourself forward!

Testing...1, 2...

This past week has been quite an interesting one. I was plucked from my usual day-to-day routine and put into something completely unfamiliar. At first, I was unhappy, naturally, (for more reasons than one, but that’s another story -_-), but as the week progressed, I found myself being okay. I stopped fighting what was and starting allowing what would be. As I allowed my days to create themselves without the restriction I subconsciously added, I found a new routine inadvertently created. I now sit here at the end of my week, filled with a newer understanding, less frustration, and anticipation for what my future holds.

Today I want to encourage you to move fluidly through and past your “test time.” While you’re stuck in your frustration, you will unfortunately miss what God is trying to do. He’s ultimately getting you to see that what may seem like an upside down mess to you, is His way of shaking things up and making you uncomfortable. Sometimes, we have goals, but get too comfortable and that initial sprint to that goal is now a fast-paced walk. The jagged edges of your upward climb are part of the struggling path that builds character and tests your willingness in achieving your dreams. It also prepares you for the future. Life won’t always bring you comfortable and pleasant situations and you must know how to go with the flow and rise above the situation. This will be a testament to your future that you can handle whatever comes your way without giving up. It will show that you are flexible and successful people know how to make it work. I believe that one of the keys to success is being able to continue to excel and push forward even when you’re in a situation that you didn’t ask for or wasn’t expecting.

 Be strong. Push forward. Ace your test. The next chapter may be the one you’ve been working so hard for. :)