Fearless Tips- Have it all (in love) without losing yourself!!!

With “Think Like A Man” being a number one box office hit, it has many people talking.  The phenomenon began with Steve Harvey’s book and have taken the world by storm once again with it’s recent film release.  After reading the book, many women took every word to heart and coincidentally, the film highlighted some of that behavior.  In the end, the movie showed that being true to yourself and your desires is what counts---not playing games.  Here’s a few tips on how to have it all without losing yourself.

Friends First- People really underestimate the importance of a friendship in a relationship.   It’s unfortunate that many find that though they may love their significant other, they really don’t like them.  Ouch!  Without all the romantic intricacies involved, you should still be able to enjoy him just the same.  Good communication, understanding, and genuine caring is lasting.  When getting to know a new possible Mr. Right, take it slow and build on a friendship.  

Ask Questions...Don’t Investigate- Let’s be real ladies, sometimes our desire to find out if we should invest our time or not comes off a bit, eh...scary.  Yes, there are important questions that need to be asked, but you will find that your approach can determine the answer.  Rather than make a man feel like he’s on trial, initiate a smooth conversation about life in general.  Set the tone for comfortability without judgement and you will find that he will not only answer some general questions, but will provide you with answers to questions you didn’t even ask!

To Thine Own Self Be True- You know who you are at your core.  You know what you desire, what you’re willing to be flexible with, and what’s on your “non-negotiable” list.  Don’t change it!  There’s compromise and then there’s losing yourself hoping to get a man---NOT a good idea!  Never dismiss your values, beliefs, and what’s truly important.  The right man, who is worth it and who recognizes your worth, will be willing to do what it takes to gain your trust and love when the time is right!  

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

It's Better to Give than Receive (article previously written for Fearless Magazine)

No matter how well you know someone, when the time comes to give him/her a gift, you’re usually left stumped. Take a look at some winning gifts for your love.

Gifts for her

1. Jewelry- when has a woman ever been upset over getting jewels? It’s a sure fire way to get the smiles and squeals of approval. Tip: Get something that can be personalized like a charm bracelet. Add charms that describe her and are reminiscent of the things she loves. No other gift will compare!

2. Make over- women are all about change; changing their clothes, their hair, and always their minds. A treat to the salon and having her make-up done will never go wrong because women love to be pampered. The way a woman look also affects the way she feels. Give her the gift of becoming even more beautiful, and she won’t be able to say enough thank-you’s!
 3. Shop till you drop- a gift card to her favorite store will definitely make her happy! What woman do you know that doesn’t like to shop? Be the reason that she gets to participate in one of her favorite activities!

Gifts for him


1. Electronics- men never get tired of electronics. They are forever fascinated with the latest technological release. Do a little digging and find out what he wants the most. Have the gift set up for him (if needed) and let him walk in on his surprise!


2. Plan a special night- the majority of the time, men do the planning when it comes to nights out. How about you give him the gift of being able to relax? You take charge and plan everything. He’ll enjoy the fact that he’s along for the ride!


3. Re-stock him- all the things that he needs, but doesn’t want to go buy...get them for him. They may be simple, but up the ante by getting nicer versions. He’ll be forever grateful!


Until next time...keep the forward movement.....

Give and Take....

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations in relationships.  When one hears "expectation", you automatically assume it's in reference to a romantic relationship, but there are expectations in friendships, business relationships, and familial relationships as well.  As I sat back and thought deeper about it, I started viewing it in a different way.

A friend of mine and I had a conversation about the expectations in a friendship.  I'll admit that I usually expect what I give out and when I don't get it, it bothers me.  For example: a big part of my friendship is my expression of always being there.  I make myself accessible at all times.  Regardless of if I'm doing something or not, if I'm asleep or not, if I'm not feeling well or not, I make myself available.  Unless there is absolutely no way I can be there, I'm there.  I consider myself a pretty consistant person, so subconsciously (and consciously as well), I expect the same.  He on the other hand, sees things differently.  He is not as consistant as I am and sees no problem with it.  He views it as 2 people may not or will not necessarily have the same contribution to the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is.  He asked me why I couldn't just be happy in the fact that my consistancy would be one of the things I brought to the friendship and what he brought (for example: patience and understanding) would be his contribution.  What we contributed that the other lacked, we'd use as learning tools and be grateful for. 

Initially, I wasn't ecstatic with his explaination, which in my mind was a well thought, convenient excuse, but the more and more I thought about it, as much as I may dislike it, it made a lot of sense.  How many times have you been unhappy with the way things are going?  Whether it be within a friendship or a relationship, men and women have silent expectations.  Even if you think you don't, you subconsciously expect something that you may not get.  This is the pivotal time where you can either think that something is wrong with them and be frustrated or you can start to figure out what it is that you want and recognize what the other person provides in the friendship and/or relationship.  Instead of focusing on what they're not doing or bringing, acknowledge the things they are bringing and doing and rest in the comfort of those things.  They may never do the specific thing(s) you'd like them to because that's simply not them and if they tried it would be ingenuine.  You may never do/give a specific thing that they want either, but if you both take the take to accept each other and what is brought by each, you'll be much more satisfied in your accepting place.

Today, start to evaluate your relationships and see if you're taking it for granted because of your focus.  Shift your perspective and appreciate that person for who they are and what they bring.  Before you know it, you may not even notice what you thought you needed before! 

Live, Laugh, LOVE.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Asking for too Much?

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of speaking to a male friend about relationships.  Somehow the conversation turned to the oxymoron of the requests of many people in relationships nowadays.  I'll be honest: relationships are not this generation's strong suit.  We're in and out of them as often as we change our underwear.  A lot of relationships aren't having the lasting power that we'd like or that we thought it would.  I often think of older relationships that didn't need nor require all that we ask of it now...and a lot of them are still around.  Why is it that this generation needs so much to attempt to be successful in a relationship? 

I once heard Steve Harvey discussing a reason why he thinks relationships are more difficult now.  Back then, there was nowhere near as much access to people in the world as there is now.  As he said, the person in the house you could walk to was your forever, lol.  Nowadays, people can pretty much contact anyone they want anytime.  There's always that yearning of "maybe there's someone better out there for me."  With that mindset, whomever you choose to share your time with, at that moment, doesn't have a fair shot...and neither does that relationship.

Many people are caught up in the fiction that lies inside of television on both spectrums.  Whether you watch the class act that is The Jersey Shore or the lets-be-real, oh so romantic, Bachelor, people subconsciously are expecting those types of unions.  Those who arent mentally strong enough, will look for what they see ignoring, the fact that their favorite psuedo-relationship ends with a director yelling "cut!"  Things and people aren't always as they seem.

People need to put aside their hang-ups and put themselves on the table.  Being real, as much as it's celebrated, is a hard thing to do.  To become vulnerable with someone you care about, isn't an easy feat,  but it will have the best outcome.  That is what will truly benefit the man and woman involved.  A lot of the relationships now are missing the foundational things.  If someone looks good and they have X, Y, and Z, people believe that they are good to go.  The person that looks great on paper, however, may not be the one for you.  

My thoughts: the same way that you invest in things you love or believe in, invest in your relationship...and from the ground up.  Treat it like it your very own baby.  Love it, cherish it, nurture it.  The basics of getting to know someone and forming a relationship are still just as important as the gold stars that a person comes with. 

Live. Laugh. Love.

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Open Letter to the Ladies: When a Man Isn't Ready...

Ladies: When a man isn't ready....there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.  Think about it....I'll let you take it in.  While you're doing that, fight your natural urge to think of all the things that force you to believe otherwise.  Believe me,  I understand your need to legitimize all the objections that you have in your mind to that statement, but doing that will only make things more hurtful when you do realize.  It'll bring you to a place where you're a couple who ends up always looking like this:

Within the last two weeks, two of my friends have had the very same thing happen in their relationships.  It's crazy how they mirrored each other living completely different lives and having completely different relationships.  They have been with their boyfriends for a long time and are at that pivotal moment in the relationship where you start to wonder "where is this going?"  Unfortunately for them, both of their men aren't where they need to be.  They're in that place where a lot of us find ourselves at one point or another: what is my purpose in life and how am I going to fulfill it?  The thing is, for men, this holds so much more weight.  Ultimately, he will have to oneday, be the head of a household.  Even if he chooses to never marry and/or have children, society doesn't respect a man who can't provide for at least, himself.  Even though we know this, our love and emotion for him never can fully understand or respect it.  We just don't get it.

Think about it.  Ladies, you know how we are.  We bend over backwards and do everything he asks.  We even do the things he doesn't ask for.  You practically play "future wife" hoping that he sees the humongous and quite heavy, invisible sign you're wearing that says "I'd be the perfect wife for you," lol.  Honestly, even though you care about or love that man, if you knew without a doubt that there was no future for the two of you, you'd go invest your time elsewhere.  After doing all of this....he still DOESN'T know!..*insert crazy and surprised face here*.  It can be as simple as him not knowing if he wants to be exclusive with you, to him not knowing if he wants to marry you. Now the frustration begins to mount and from that moment on, it never goes away.  Every single thing he says is mentally scrutinized because your insecurity levels rise.  You start thinking what else you can possibly do to make him see how great you are, how much you love him, and how many qualities you have that would make you a great future mate.  Tick, tock, tick, tock...yea, that's the time going by along with the decrease of your patience. You start to criticize and belittle yourself.  Many times, most women will think that something is wrong with them.  Maybe he doesn't like_____, or maybe I'm too______, or if I would've done_______, he'd want to commit/marry me. It just makes so much sense because what else could be holding him back? Well, in time, experience, and my vast number of conversations with many people, I've learned something that though hard to swallow, is the truth: it's not about you.  


Think about all the adult responsibilities you have now.  You take care of them daily and don't even stop and think about it.  Why?...because you were prepared for it.  You had your youth where you learned little by little to balance things and to deal with situations and responsibility accordingly. Therefore, by the time you reached your adulthood, you could handle your responsibilities fluidly. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had to deal with all those things when you were a child?  Even moreso, think about if you had to handle the tasks and responsibilities of someone twice your age with twice the experience and twice the financial stability.  You would inevitably fail.  Why?...because you're simply not ready...and that ladies, is men.


It's not that they don't want you or that you're not good enough. It's that they're not ready and the smart ones know that if they do something that they aren't prepared for, they will undoubtedly FAIL.  I'm not talking about the men who play around because they are everywhere, but this is about the men who are getting themselves together for the future and who eventually want a mate.  Most of the time, we don't see that because we're so in love, but the euphoria that comes from being in love shuts it's eyes to reality.  Therefore, he'll go from the man who gave you everything, to the one who can't support you and/or your family.  He'll go from the man who was always so calm to the frustrated angry man who refuses to talk to you anymore.  Your frustration will lead you away from your sweet and supportive self to a nagging, unsupportive, and unhappy person.  Now if you had just waited until he was ready or until the time was right, it would be a completely different situation. Not only does the man have to be ready, but most importantly, God has to give you His green light.  Everything great happens in His perfect timing.  


Everyone has their own situation, relationship, and timing.  I ran across an article today on Essence.com about a lady who dated her husband for 17 years before they got married.  You can view that interesting article here.  Now let me go ahead and say, I am in NO WAY saying to wait forever for a man at all! In her case, 17 years for most people is ludicrous and personally, I don't think anyone deserves that much time.  No one man or woman is guaranteed forever, so you must follow your heart and trust your instincts.  What I found interesting about her story was that she finished by saying that it was worth the wait and things were so much better because he was READY.  Initially, he was in a bad place, unstable, and hadn't found himself.  By the time they got married, he was where he needed to be to be a great husband and a better father.  As much as I roll my eyes at her timeline, I can't help but understand the lesson learned.  Had she married that lost, confused, unstable, and angry man, that relationship wouldn't have had a chance at longevity, but because she waited, they're happily married.


Another part that I noticed in her story and in stories I've either heard or experienced is that her man never told her what he was thinking, so she was completely unaware that he really wanted to marry her, but needed to find himself first.  He just bottled it up.  Fellas, I know you aren't the greatest communicators, especially in comparison to us, but not saying anything is NO GOOD!  We don't know what you're thinking and if you keep us in the dark long enough, we'll end up latching on to some other man who is all too happy to shed some light.  In a nutshell, men need to find ways to communicate what they're thinking and feeling to the woman they love.  It doesn't have to be in the form of a two-hour conversation, but nothing, is eventually going to push us so far away from you that we're no longer within your reach.


Before I go, I just want to say, especially to the ladies that are reading this, listen to your mind, trust your heart, and follow your instincts because they will never lead you wrong.  We have a tough time giving men the benefit of the doubt because there are so many that do such negative things, but for every one man that's playing around, there's one that's a good man getting himself together in preparation for the beginning of his lineage and ultimately his legacy.


Whenever my Mr. Right is ready and asks me.....I'M READY... ;)



Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Call Me Sometimes....

In today's world, there's text messaging, skype, email, bbm'ing, google chat, instant messaging, and all the social networks you could handle.  There is a ridiculous amount of ways to keep in touch (sometimes stalk, lol) someone nowadays.  Technology has made is so that you can never speak to someone and miss not one beat.  It's pretty convenient when you think of it.  No longer does your long distance love have to cool down until the next time you see each other; with the click of a mouse, you can view and 'enjoy' your honey (as best as possible anyway) via skype video...or so I've heard, lol.  With all these ways to connect and maintain communication, the simple phone call seems like a thing of the past and is beginning to be a faint memory.  The many forms of "talking" have taken the place of actually picking up the phone and calling someone.  Although these things are more convenient, they can't take the place of and will never be as personal as a phone call. 

Men usually make excuses when it comes to this. I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there from this perspective because 1. I'm a woman and 2. this is how I feel.  Oftentimes, you'll find that men don't really care whether you call or not or what form of communication you use to reach them.  You can understand the importance of a phone call if you listen to the apparant grunts and groans of many women when it comes to their man not doing it.  He thinks, regardless of the mode of delivery, the message still got there....very logical.  A woman, on the other hand, thinks the opposite...it's not exactly the message, but the method of delivery....completely emotional.  Neither side is right or wrong.  It is what it is because men and women will always be the way they are and if you try to fight that, you'll end up very frustrated.

Speaking from the woman's perspective, nowadays we understand the convenience of texting and all the other ways.  Hell, we do it too, so obviously we like it, but every now and then, CALL.  In my mind, if you really care about a person, hearing their voice sometimes, shouldn't be torture for you.  This doesn't have to occur all day, everyday but at least make the effort.  Sometimes it's the simple things.  Technology makes it convenient for you to send an e-card, but how about you ask for her address and send her one that she can cherish and keep, versus the one that expires in 30 days.  Yes, it's quicker to send her a text telling her that you miss her and are thinking of her (believe me we save every one :) lol), but, it in no way, compares to hearing your voice saying the very same thing.  It's PERSONAL.  It's less convenient which means you took the time out and women desire that.  We desire the EFFORT from you because you don't and won't do it for everyone and that makes it even more special. 

Before I go, I must say something to my FELLAS: No, you may not want to call, but compromise.  When you care about someone, you do things to make them happy.  No, you don't need to change who you are, but making the effort and calling every now and then isn't going to kill you.  It's going to show her that you care enough to do the little things that makes her happy....and I'll add that it doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or not.  I know a lot of men who love to use that excuse when they don't want to do something, but caring about and being connected to someone gives the middle finger to titles.  You obviously care enough, otherwise you wouldn't deal with anything.  Now for my LADIES: Don't expect him to all of a sudden start doing what you want him to as many times as you want him to.  The key word for us is compromise as well.  I'll admit, (and you should too), that sometimes we as women tend to expect from a man not what he's shown, but what we've created in our minds....and unfortunately it only makes things worse.  They get upset because we're upset and technically they've done nothing.  I used to be so upset that whoever I was dating wasn't calling as much as I'd like him and I'd take it personal.  Now, I don't necessarily need calls all day, everyday, but I do like calls sometimes coupled with all the other modes of communication.  Appreciate all the little things and don't dismiss his effort.

At the end of the day, men and women will overall continue to function and think in the exact manner that they do.  This doesn't mean that you can't evolve or make exceptions.  Don't fight it.  If you care enough, you'll either get on board or jump ship and make room for someone else!

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Romance Lives On...

Some say romance is dead, but I disagree.  I think it's very much alive and well, it just depends on how important it is to you.  A few weeks back, I sat and listened to some of the older people in my family talk about their childhood.  One of the things they mentioned was courting.  One of the men in the room discussed writing a letter and leaving it on the porch of the young lady he liked.  His face lit up at the memory.  A woman in the room brought up a tape of love songs she received and how special that made her feel.  Another one of the men, mentioned carrying his girlfriend's groceries to her home every time she went.  There was such an overwhelming sense of love in that room.  I wanted to take it and wrap myself up in it like a warm blanket.  As I left that function with my family, it made me wonder how important romance is.

From the conversations I've had, my generation believes in it as well.  When conversing with my friends, oftentimes, it's the small, thoughtful, and romantic things that we women crave.  When we talk about the sweetest things we've ever experienced, it usually falls along the lines of a sweet gesture that is so impactful it lingers on the mind, for days, months, years, and sometimes, forever.  Some people, especially women, find it so simple to be romantic and do those type of things, but from what I've observed, a lot of men don't know what to do.  The same thing goes for women as well.  I'm going to share 3 of my thoughts/ideas for both sides.  Fellas: this is what I want.  I can honestly say that a lot of women would probably appreciate the same, but don't assume because everyone is different.  Ladies: this is what I would do or have already done, but just like I said to the guys, everyone is different, so taylor my suggestions to the person you're with. 

Fellas: 

• Flowers never hurt.  Every now and then, you'll find a woman that doesn't like them, but for the most part, women will love this.  I know I do. 
• Personally, I appreciate a nice card.  Of course, you have to write something thoughtful in it....don't just leave it to Hallmark, lol.  This is especially effective if you're not physically close to them.  A card can't take the place of you being there, but it's a wonderful thing to receive something as simple as a card to remind you that you're missed and in someone's thoughts.
•  Maybe it's the result of having read too many romance novels, but setting the scene screams romance.  I've always craved a man who would fill a room full of candles, flowers, soft music, and other 'stuff' lol.  To have someone go through that preparation to make sure that you are amazed, means a lot.  It's the little things...and you when you combine a whole bunch of little things, it adds up to something major.  It'll also be something that she will never forget.

Ladies:

• Guys like nice things too.  Sometimes, we forget that and assume because they're men, that we can't gush all over them.  We can....just in our own way.  For example, you can make dinner, light some candles, and change into something that he'll appreciate, lol.  It's simple, but sweet.
• Guys are usually responsible for paying and planning, but we can do it too.  You wouldn't imagine how happy they'd be if you told them that you were taking them out to dinner.  It allows them to relax and be taken out and treated for once and they appreciate it.  If you want to take on the task of planning something, then go ahead!  They'll love that too.
• Romance comes in all forms and helping them with one of their many tasks can be quite sexy too.  Oftentimes, women try to get out of the way of what their guy is doing, but I know for a fact, that he'll appreciate you helping him and being a part of his team.  To up the romance factor, treat him to a relaxing massage after the two of you are done.

Everyone deserves to be treated well, and it should be easy to do when you really care about someone.  With all that happens in life, it's comforting to know that there's someone who'll take the little things into account to make you feel special.  From generation to generation, whether it's done by a collection of love songs on a tape, a romantic dinner, or an international excursion, it will never, ever, go out of style. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Give up the standards?...I think not....

I had a really interesting conversation with a male friend of mine a few nights ago.  I must say, it was pretty disheartening and by the end of it, I was angered.  After giving it much thought, I decided not to allow the beliefs of anyone to infiltrate my mind and question my own.  It began with us updating each other on the past few months of our lives.  Some way or another we came to the topic of men, women, and sex.  To make a long story short, one question sparked the debate.  I asked him if he respected women who he became intimate with very quickly.  He responded by saying that when he was younger he used to think negatively of them, but as he got older he didn't feel that all of them were 'easy' and that even if he did, they could very well say the same thing about him.  I reminded him that there is a negative stigma that is only associated with women in the terms of having a lot of sexual partners or having sex with someone quickly.  Right or wrong, men are not judged in the same light.  He understood and agreed, but disclosed to me that if a woman doesn't sleep with him within 3 times of them spending time together, he doesn't really want to be bothered with her.


I started laughing really hard because I knew it was a joke and he is a hilarious person, but for the first time, he wasn't joking, and when I realized that, I wasn't laughing.  I asked him again to be sure and he said the same thing.  I even gave him an example with a short time line and sure enough by the time the third date came around, in his mind, sex needed to be there.  His explaination was that if the physical chemistry that he desired wasn't there, he wanted nothing to do with her and he needed to find out very early.  Wow!  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  We'd been friends for so long and I'd never dealt with him in anything other than a platonic relationship, so I had no idea he actually thought in such an offensive way.  I quickly told him that he should be glad he never saw me that way because that would have never worked with me.


I began to tell him how asinine and offensive his thinking was.  I told him that I understood that most men don't and won't wait forever, but a woman who doesn't become intimate with you by the third date is definitely not a bad thing.  I for one, have a lot of standards not only for someone, but especially for myself and I take being intimate with someone very seriously.  It's not something I take lightly or do easily.  He responded by saying that most men will not wait or want to deal with that and a lot of woman will be single because they choose to be selective.  I even reaffirmed that a lot of women don't make men wait as part of a game, but to make sure that they're ready and that they want to share themselves with this particular person.  He wasn't buying it though.  He stuck with what I believed to be his ignorant and  sexist thought.  He told me I was being sensitive and that I needed to get over it, and even started pointing out reasons why I felt the way I did as if something was wrong with me!  I. was. seething!  I told him that nothing has to be wrong with me or any other woman who sets standards for herself or others and nothing is wrong with the men who can wait and appreciate a woman like that.  Before, I really lost it, I ended the conversation.


As I sat there, aghast, replaying the conversation in my mind, I decided to let my anger go.  It was so unimportant.  The thoughts and opinions of the foolish will not cause me to question or change mine.  I know plenty of men who appreciate the woman that I am and the respect that I have and that type of man, is the only one that matters.  The man I marry will truly be the only that matters and the one that will appreciate the manner in which I carry myself.  Tonight as I write this, I'm empowered by my own strength and am happy with the decisions that I make and the standards that I have set for myself.  I won't be embarrassed and won't question my actions because I've allowed someone to dictate them to appear a certain way.  I can be and am an example for myself, other women my age and older, younger girls, my future children and future generations and that's awesome!


For the men out there, if you agree with my friend, you will only find those type of women and good luck with that, because I'm sure that won't be great in the end.  To the the men out there who can respect and appreciate a woman with standards....thank you for reminding us that you're not all the same.  Most importantly, to my ladies, always stay strong in your convictions and don't allow what others think or believe to direct what you think, what you believe, or who you are.  


I'll leave with a beautiful song by Alicia Keys called "A Woman's Worth."  The title explains it all.  Ladies, don't forget yours....

Until next time....Keep the forward movement....

Almost Doesn't Count...

Since it's the month of February, I figured what better time to launch my entries on love, relationships, and men and women as I know it!  I have plenty of things that come to mind and you know ladies love to chat amongst themselves about our experiences, so I'll share one with you.  A friend and I were having a conversation about relationships.  The topic was that we knew that sometimes men felt that women can't be pleased.  That no matter what they do sometimes, they feel as though they can't make us happy.  Now I can only speak for myself, but I know that at a time or two, I've been guilty of making someone feel this way and I will say it was more my own issues than them, but sometimes fellas, it's you.  Let me tell you why and how it is for women sometimes.


A lot of times, women are ready for more quicker than men are.  Hell, sometimes, we're ready and you're not at all.  And no matter what you tell us, it really only matters what's in our heads, lol.  I'm not saying it's right, but it is definitely true. Fellas let me let you into the mind of a woman real quick.  Now don't completely take this, run with it, and apply it to everything, because you know we're complicated, lol.


A woman who cares about you and that you're involved with in whatever capacity, is going to want what she wants from day one and you probably already know this.  The problem is you don't, but we hang in there anyway thinking that we can show how fabulous we are and persuade you otherwise.  For a while, you may truly stand your ground, but sometimes, somewhere along the line, you begin to fall for us.  You think everything is going great, but we start to get frustrated and irritated by everything and you don't understand why.  It feels like we're always upset and you can't do anything right...right?  Let me give you two examples of how this plays in our mind.


When you start to accept your feelings for us, it's new to you, and therefore you're in no rush.  The thing is, our feelings and frustrations are old to us because we've cared about you for so long or longer than you anyway.  It's as if we're running around a track.  Little do you know we've been running since 1 o'clock.  We keep asking you come along, but you never want to.  We keep running and running hoping that you show up and you do, but not until eight o'clock.  You get that first lap in and are feeling energized.  We are sweating, are tired and thirsty and you can't understand why we get upset and leave the track.  In your mind you showed up, but in ours you almost didn't and when you did, we didn't have the same energy as we did before.


As my friend and I continued to share our experiences, I gave her another example.  Women will deal with a lot when they care about a man.  Whether it's right or wrong, we will.  But eventually a woman gets to a point where the only thing that's good enough is exactly. what. she. wants. and nothing less.  For example, if you were to ask me my ultimate car, I would tell you it's a Bentley.  I just don't think it gets any better, for me anyways.  That is what I ultimately want.  Another one might be nice and I may really like it and enjoy it, but it's not what I truly want.  There is a frame of time that will allow me to enjoy other cars while I'm waiting for my dream car, but then there'll come a moment when nothing is going to be good enough...now follow me because this is just an example; read between the lines.  You could give the best of what you think is the best and I still wouldn't like because it's not what I've been waiting for.


Women operate in the same way.  We'll wait and wait and wait, but then one day something clicks and our emotions don't dictate our actions anymore.  Mind you up until this point our emotions did dictate our actions and didn't care a thing about what you said.  We just went on how we felt and hoped you'd feel the same.  But there comes a point, when no matter what, it's all or nothing...and almost doesn't count.  What you may think is a major step or a major thing, means nothing because we passed that so long ago.  I know, I know, you're thinking "well I didn't know or tell you to go that far", but let me tell you something: our hearts don't hear that.  Our emotions don't care about what you said and emotions definitely don't respect your logic...or any logic for that matter.  


I wish that this entry would've made some things change or click, but it won't, lol.  The battle of the sexes will continue forever, but it's a great thing to get inside the mind of each other to learn and understand more about each other.  It'll definitely make you a better person for you and your future mate.


I'll leave you with one of my favorite Beyonce songs.  It's perfect, because it pretty much describes what we as women, would do if we were men because this is how we sometimes perceive you all.  Right or wrong fellas, the ladies agree, lol.  







Until next time....keep the forward movement...