Who Runs the World?

Girls! This is by far one of my favorite Beyonce songs.  The upbeat rhythm coupled with the powerful words, coerces even the most timid of souls to jump up and rock to the beat.  The top female entertainer of this generation always gives us music to dance to and heart wrenching ballads to belt out.  Love her or hate her, you can't deny her talent and the way she motivates others.  Throughout her music and career in general, she continues to propel this one message:  FEMALE EMPOWERMENT....and I love it. 

In a world where women are pitted against each other, it's refreshing to have many musical reminders that we should support one another, rather than plot and scheme to bring others down.  Since the beginning of time, women were bred to 'one-up' one another and do whatever it takes to be the 'queen-bee'.  Whether it's through rigging a contest so that you win by embarrassing another female, or going as low as taking her man (karma), our world celebrates the demise of the essence of sisterhood.  The very strength that we could use to build each other up is the very one we use to hold each other down.  I'm not speaking to every woman, but if we're honest with ourselves, you can name several off the top of your head who is exactly what this blog entry is talking about.

When I was in college, I joined a modeling organization.   The business of modeling can be very cut-throat, but we were a family that all had the same purpose.  Our main goal aside from our semester shows was service and we frequently gave our time to different organizations.  As I spent time with my new family, I grew close to several people and we truly became inseparable.  One of my close friends had a friend (we'll call her Stacy), who I spoke to and was cordial to, but was never really friends with.  I didn't have any ill-will toward her and thought she was a nice girl, but never really divulged my personal business to.  Well, months later, I heard that a certain woman (obviously Stacy) was spreading rumors about me and a young man I was dating.  The rumor was along the lines of him only dating me because of my looks and not really caring about me, etc.  The rumor was a little less diplomatic than I just stated, but I'm sure you get the drift. 

Initially I was mad.  Then I became hurt.  After some thought and some venting with friends, I decided to let it go.  What initially bothered me about it was the fact that I had never said or even thought anything negative about this young woman, but here she was talking about me.  I chalked it up to several things: low self-esteem, an obvious lack of happiness somewhere, and the virus that a lot of women unfortunately have that causes them to hate other women unnecessarily. 

That's just one personal example, but I have many more and I'm sure if we had a microphone and asked other women to share their experiences, the line would wrap around the world.  It's so sad that women in general roll their eyes at each other, whisper behind each other's backs, and deliberately sabotage one another.  If you don't like someone, actually have a legetimate reason/situation that causes you to feel that way.  That is more understandable, but hating for no reason, is so sad and a direct reflection of the sadness and inferiority that lies within you.  I for one, practice the rule of upliftment.  There's enough room at the top for us all as we will never serve the very same purpose.  In empowering others genuinely, you truly uplift yourself. 

Ladies...SISTERHOOD IS THE NEW BLACK. We can do so much more together than we can apart.  If you find yourself to be one of these women that "hate", work on your own issues.  Heal your own wounds and be an example not only for future generations, but for the existing generations of women.  Live. Laugh. Love. EMPOWER. 



Until next time...keep the forward movement...

A Penny for Your Thoughts...27 Thoughts....27 Pennies....

On the eve of my 27th birthday, I decided what better time to take a moment to reflect; Reflecting not only on me, but on everything.  As I think about the times earlier this year, and the previous years, I think of what I know now that I didn't know then.  Whether we want to admit it or not, as we progress in our adulthood, we are given the gift that is only granted with age...wisdom.  At this point in my life, I'm wiser than I've ever been and not just because of the age, but because of the experiences that have brought me this far.  I'm in the sharing mood, so I'll give you 27 of my thoughts :)...

1. No matter where you are, you're supposed to be here.  This may be one of the hardest things to believe, but believe me, God has you where he wants you, and He'll bring you where you need to be.

2. Cherish the people in your life.  Just when you think they'll always be there...they're gone.

3. Procrastination leads to missed opportunities and a life full of "what-ifs."  The only time that's guaranteed is the one you reside in...so do it NOW.

4. Honor those who are there for you in the bad times.  It's so easy to love and be there for someone while they're in an upward motion or on top of the mountain, but to love and be there for someone in the rawest and lowest point isn't as glamorous or easy, so don't dismiss those people.  They're the ones that truly count and deserve more than you can give.

5. Simply reach out and make the effort.  The things that are meant for you will find you and grab hold.

6. Don't wait until someone dies to celebrate their existence.

7. Take risks.  If it works out for you, that's great.  If it doesn't, you know not to do that again and do something else.

8. Helping others will ensure that you'll be taken care of.  It may not be from that same person, but you will be.

9. Assiting someone in the things that they want to accomplish will not only make you feel good, but it will definetly propel you to accomplish your own goals.

10. Getting started is the hardest part.  Whether that be work, obtaining something or going to the gym.  As soon as you get over that initial hurdle, it's smooth sailing.

11. Ask questions.  When I was younger, I used to be scared to ask questions because I didn't want to look stupid.  Well, being loud and wrong is even more stupid.  The one who is foolish, is the one who thinks they know everything...and no one does.

12. Just because you look good, doesn't mean you're healthy.  Get active, eat healthier, and get check-ups.  If you don't have your health, you have nothing.

13. Impulse is fun, but it's not always the smartest thing.  Think certain things through.

14. Allow yourself to cry, feel, get frustrated....but MOVE ON.  I used to allow little things to consume more time than they deserved.  We are human, so sometimes you may have a moment that has that negative emotion; however allow it to be a MOMENT, and move forward.  Don't allow what should have been a small moment to keep you from a longer and more fulfilling one.

15. Visualization works.  Try it.  At first, it may feel weird, but if you stick to it, you'll find that it becomes something that you look forward to.  Also, write things down.  Nothing beats the moment you experience something that you wrote down and visualized.  

16. Dont' spread yourself too thin.  Yes, you want to help, but you can't be everything to everyone.  By doing that, you are nothing to yourself...and no good can come from that.

17. Learn about different cultures and people.  It makes you more marketable in the things you do and expands your knowledge.

18. Learn to check yourself.  Someone shouldn't have to call you out on something everytime.  Learn your faults, acknowledge them, and learn to catch your 'crazy' before anyone else does.  By doing this, you'll minimize the negative, because you'll recognize it.

19. Make and do some things on your bucket list.  I've recently started that and it's wonderful.  Life is short, so live it to the fullest.

20. Have a burning desire, goal, and reason for the things you want to accomplish.  If there's nothing to really drive you to get to where you want to, you'll accomplish nothing and remain in neutral for the rest of your life.

21. Do something out of your element.  Just because that's what you've been doing, doesn't mean that it's the best or only thing out there.  Expand your horizons.

22. Travel.  I love to travel.  The newness of a place never fails to amaze me.  Also, travel out of the country if you can.  There's a whole world out there that believe or not, you're oblivious to.

23. Take time for yourself.  Turn off the cell phone.  I know it's hard, but it'll replenish you and give you more energy when you re-join the world.

24. Dream big.  Don't ever let anyone make your dreams sounds unattainable.  You're the only one who has to believe....and so it will be.

25. Surround yourself with positive people who are the same accord as you.  Also, surround yourself with those who have vastly surpassed where you are and where you initially wanted to go.  They can help you more than someone who hasn't reached their goal.  Realistically, the blind leading the blide, never got them anywhere. 

26.  Trust God.  You may not understand, but everything happens for a reason. Hold on to what you know, pray, believe, and move forward.

27.  LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.  This is what life is all about.  When you feel tired of your circumstances, continue to LIVE, knowing the bad is only for a moment in time.  When things are so difficult, where nothing is funny, LAUGH anyway knowing that the sounds of your laughter is calling into existence happier moments.  When you feel betrayed, uncared for, unloved, continue to LOVE anyway.  True love breaks barriers, surpasses  every emotion and logic, and lasts a lifetime.

These are the things that I've done and experienced and I hope that if you haven't done or experience any of them, you do.  Life is ultimately about growing and with your growth, you'll make the choices that will allow you to live the exact life you were born for.  SEE YOU AT THE TOP.

Until next time...keep the forward movement.

In Love, Only YOU Have to Understand

I'm sure many of you know that this weekend Carmelo Anthony and his former fiancee Lala, got married.  All the blogs and websites kept congratulating them and saying things like "the eternal fiancee has finally snagged herself a husband" and other things along those lines.  At first, I laughed, but when I really thought about it, it stopped being funny, at least in that way.  For those of you who don't know, Lala and Carmelo have been engaged for 5 years, live together, and have a son together.  For years, people have been calling Lala stupid for being with him when it was so obvious (to them) that he was never actually planning on marrying her.  They even nicknamed her "the eternal fiancee".  It boggles my mind how so many people can make such deep judgements about someone they don't know.  I know that the media has it so that they're in your face every five seconds, so you may feel like you know them, but you don't.  Never once, did anyone give her the benefit of the doubt or even give him the benefit of the doubt as to why the conclusion of their union was taking so long.  Come to think of it, what's too long?  Who defines that?  The right time for someone to get married varries within each relationship and that time frame is for no one but the two involved to decide.

About six months ago, there were a few articles that Lala and Carmelo did that went in depth, for the first time, about their relationship.  He surprised everyone by saying that he's been ready to get married, but it's Lala who wanted to hold off because she wanted to be in the right place for herself before she became his wife.  Wow!  Who would've thought?  Usually, it's men who drag their feet when it comes to marriage, but she wanted to take her time and for a very good reason, I might add.  Often, men do this.  They make sure they're in the right position in life before they make such a committment.  I guess us women are always ready to some degree and usually before our counterparts.  Lala was smart enough to know and be secure enough in the love and life that the two of them created together, that she needed no one else's approval on her time frame, but her fiancee and God.  This really got me thinking.

There are so many relationships that don't make it because they let the words and opinions of others dictate their actions.  When dealing with love, trust your instincts, your heart, and your mind. NOONE, friends & family included, needs to understand the dynamics of your union except for you, your man/woman, and God. Pray about it & DO YOU.  You and your spouse will definetly have the last laugh.  You'll laugh all the way to alter and laugh through your wonderful life together because you trusted your partner, yourself, and most importantly God.

Congrats Lala & Carmelo!

Open Letter to the Ladies: When a Man Isn't Ready...

Ladies: When a man isn't ready....there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.  Think about it....I'll let you take it in.  While you're doing that, fight your natural urge to think of all the things that force you to believe otherwise.  Believe me,  I understand your need to legitimize all the objections that you have in your mind to that statement, but doing that will only make things more hurtful when you do realize.  It'll bring you to a place where you're a couple who ends up always looking like this:

Within the last two weeks, two of my friends have had the very same thing happen in their relationships.  It's crazy how they mirrored each other living completely different lives and having completely different relationships.  They have been with their boyfriends for a long time and are at that pivotal moment in the relationship where you start to wonder "where is this going?"  Unfortunately for them, both of their men aren't where they need to be.  They're in that place where a lot of us find ourselves at one point or another: what is my purpose in life and how am I going to fulfill it?  The thing is, for men, this holds so much more weight.  Ultimately, he will have to oneday, be the head of a household.  Even if he chooses to never marry and/or have children, society doesn't respect a man who can't provide for at least, himself.  Even though we know this, our love and emotion for him never can fully understand or respect it.  We just don't get it.

Think about it.  Ladies, you know how we are.  We bend over backwards and do everything he asks.  We even do the things he doesn't ask for.  You practically play "future wife" hoping that he sees the humongous and quite heavy, invisible sign you're wearing that says "I'd be the perfect wife for you," lol.  Honestly, even though you care about or love that man, if you knew without a doubt that there was no future for the two of you, you'd go invest your time elsewhere.  After doing all of this....he still DOESN'T know!..*insert crazy and surprised face here*.  It can be as simple as him not knowing if he wants to be exclusive with you, to him not knowing if he wants to marry you. Now the frustration begins to mount and from that moment on, it never goes away.  Every single thing he says is mentally scrutinized because your insecurity levels rise.  You start thinking what else you can possibly do to make him see how great you are, how much you love him, and how many qualities you have that would make you a great future mate.  Tick, tock, tick, tock...yea, that's the time going by along with the decrease of your patience. You start to criticize and belittle yourself.  Many times, most women will think that something is wrong with them.  Maybe he doesn't like_____, or maybe I'm too______, or if I would've done_______, he'd want to commit/marry me. It just makes so much sense because what else could be holding him back? Well, in time, experience, and my vast number of conversations with many people, I've learned something that though hard to swallow, is the truth: it's not about you.  


Think about all the adult responsibilities you have now.  You take care of them daily and don't even stop and think about it.  Why?...because you were prepared for it.  You had your youth where you learned little by little to balance things and to deal with situations and responsibility accordingly. Therefore, by the time you reached your adulthood, you could handle your responsibilities fluidly. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had to deal with all those things when you were a child?  Even moreso, think about if you had to handle the tasks and responsibilities of someone twice your age with twice the experience and twice the financial stability.  You would inevitably fail.  Why?...because you're simply not ready...and that ladies, is men.


It's not that they don't want you or that you're not good enough. It's that they're not ready and the smart ones know that if they do something that they aren't prepared for, they will undoubtedly FAIL.  I'm not talking about the men who play around because they are everywhere, but this is about the men who are getting themselves together for the future and who eventually want a mate.  Most of the time, we don't see that because we're so in love, but the euphoria that comes from being in love shuts it's eyes to reality.  Therefore, he'll go from the man who gave you everything, to the one who can't support you and/or your family.  He'll go from the man who was always so calm to the frustrated angry man who refuses to talk to you anymore.  Your frustration will lead you away from your sweet and supportive self to a nagging, unsupportive, and unhappy person.  Now if you had just waited until he was ready or until the time was right, it would be a completely different situation. Not only does the man have to be ready, but most importantly, God has to give you His green light.  Everything great happens in His perfect timing.  


Everyone has their own situation, relationship, and timing.  I ran across an article today on Essence.com about a lady who dated her husband for 17 years before they got married.  You can view that interesting article here.  Now let me go ahead and say, I am in NO WAY saying to wait forever for a man at all! In her case, 17 years for most people is ludicrous and personally, I don't think anyone deserves that much time.  No one man or woman is guaranteed forever, so you must follow your heart and trust your instincts.  What I found interesting about her story was that she finished by saying that it was worth the wait and things were so much better because he was READY.  Initially, he was in a bad place, unstable, and hadn't found himself.  By the time they got married, he was where he needed to be to be a great husband and a better father.  As much as I roll my eyes at her timeline, I can't help but understand the lesson learned.  Had she married that lost, confused, unstable, and angry man, that relationship wouldn't have had a chance at longevity, but because she waited, they're happily married.


Another part that I noticed in her story and in stories I've either heard or experienced is that her man never told her what he was thinking, so she was completely unaware that he really wanted to marry her, but needed to find himself first.  He just bottled it up.  Fellas, I know you aren't the greatest communicators, especially in comparison to us, but not saying anything is NO GOOD!  We don't know what you're thinking and if you keep us in the dark long enough, we'll end up latching on to some other man who is all too happy to shed some light.  In a nutshell, men need to find ways to communicate what they're thinking and feeling to the woman they love.  It doesn't have to be in the form of a two-hour conversation, but nothing, is eventually going to push us so far away from you that we're no longer within your reach.


Before I go, I just want to say, especially to the ladies that are reading this, listen to your mind, trust your heart, and follow your instincts because they will never lead you wrong.  We have a tough time giving men the benefit of the doubt because there are so many that do such negative things, but for every one man that's playing around, there's one that's a good man getting himself together in preparation for the beginning of his lineage and ultimately his legacy.


Whenever my Mr. Right is ready and asks me.....I'M READY... ;)



Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Instructions for Life

Earlier today, I was trying to book a flight out of the country.  I was almost done, but one of the last steps was to put in my passport number.  I'm usually a very organzied person, but for the life of me, I couldn't even begin to think of where I could've possibly put it for safe keep.  I hid it so well that even I couldn't find it!  Well, in the midst of the chaos I created in my search, I found this paper where I wrote down the instructions for life.  I can't remember who wrote this or even where I got it from, but each instruction is impactful and I wanted to share it with you.

Instructions for Life:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the 3 R's: 1. Respect for self  2. Respect for others  3. Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone everyday.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge.  It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Live a good, honorable life.  Then, when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

I'll leave you with some pictures of life quotes that I find interesting.  Enjoy...

Unitl next time...keep the forward movement...

Before it's too late...

A couple of days ago, I was sitting with my family just talking and laughing.  As we joked around, I looked over at my parents and a quick thought flashed in my mind: what if something happened to them tomorrow and they were no longer here?  Instantaneously, my heart sank.  At that moment, I told myself that I needed to enjoy these moments and cherish them.  I always think this, but I need to remember this when I'm not in a good mood, or we're in an argument, or things are not that great.  It's easy to cherish people when you're happy, but once something goes wrong or there's a disagreement, you find yourself not talking to them and allowing what was a minute situation to completely spiral.


With this in mind, I began thinking of the past few months.  The end of the year was tough because I knew five people who passed away in December alone!  Not to mention, there was a death in my family in May.  On top of that, the earthquake in Haiti shook my family to the core.  Not only was it a reality check for us, but it was for the whole world.  It really displayed the fact that life is so precious and could be taken at any moment, so you should live it to the fullest and appreciate your family, friends, spouses, etc.


To further hone in on this lesson that I'd been receiving the past few days, I got a call from someone today with bad news about a family member of hers.  The person was in the hospital and it was so sudden.  Immediately my heart sunk because I know the pain that she and her family are going through.  I prayed for them and currently am waiting on the good news I know she's going to call me with.


With all of this in mind, I started wondering why people wait until something terrible happens before they put things into perspective.  It's so cliche' and almost nauseating to me that to some people, a person doesn't matter as much, until they're gone.  It almost makes your pain when they are gone, hypocritcal.  If you don't appreciate them while they're in your lives, when they're gone, nothing you feel will matter.  It's too late.


As you read this, I urge to really think about how you would feel if someone you love or care about was no longer here before you had a chance to truly express what they mean to you.  If you really think of this, you'll appreciate them more and communicate more whether that be calling, texting, emailing, messaging, skyping, social networks, etc.  There are so many ways to keep in touch now a days that it's scary, lol, but that means NO EXCUSES.  There's always a way to make your presence, love, appreciation, gratitude, and adoration felt.  Don't wait with the thoughts of: there's always tomorrow, because there isn't always tomorrow.  Don't think:  I'll tell them later, because there may not be a later.  For those of you who show love and appreciation through words, SAY THEM!  For those who show love and appreciation through action, SHOW IT!  Don't wait!  


The message is loud and clear:  Treasure the people you love/care about, and treasure the moments, so you can treasure the memories....


The song below is one of my favorite Brandy songs.  It's called "Right Here."  It basically says that no matter what, I'll be right here with you.  Enjoy.....





Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Give up the standards?...I think not....

I had a really interesting conversation with a male friend of mine a few nights ago.  I must say, it was pretty disheartening and by the end of it, I was angered.  After giving it much thought, I decided not to allow the beliefs of anyone to infiltrate my mind and question my own.  It began with us updating each other on the past few months of our lives.  Some way or another we came to the topic of men, women, and sex.  To make a long story short, one question sparked the debate.  I asked him if he respected women who he became intimate with very quickly.  He responded by saying that when he was younger he used to think negatively of them, but as he got older he didn't feel that all of them were 'easy' and that even if he did, they could very well say the same thing about him.  I reminded him that there is a negative stigma that is only associated with women in the terms of having a lot of sexual partners or having sex with someone quickly.  Right or wrong, men are not judged in the same light.  He understood and agreed, but disclosed to me that if a woman doesn't sleep with him within 3 times of them spending time together, he doesn't really want to be bothered with her.


I started laughing really hard because I knew it was a joke and he is a hilarious person, but for the first time, he wasn't joking, and when I realized that, I wasn't laughing.  I asked him again to be sure and he said the same thing.  I even gave him an example with a short time line and sure enough by the time the third date came around, in his mind, sex needed to be there.  His explaination was that if the physical chemistry that he desired wasn't there, he wanted nothing to do with her and he needed to find out very early.  Wow!  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  We'd been friends for so long and I'd never dealt with him in anything other than a platonic relationship, so I had no idea he actually thought in such an offensive way.  I quickly told him that he should be glad he never saw me that way because that would have never worked with me.


I began to tell him how asinine and offensive his thinking was.  I told him that I understood that most men don't and won't wait forever, but a woman who doesn't become intimate with you by the third date is definitely not a bad thing.  I for one, have a lot of standards not only for someone, but especially for myself and I take being intimate with someone very seriously.  It's not something I take lightly or do easily.  He responded by saying that most men will not wait or want to deal with that and a lot of woman will be single because they choose to be selective.  I even reaffirmed that a lot of women don't make men wait as part of a game, but to make sure that they're ready and that they want to share themselves with this particular person.  He wasn't buying it though.  He stuck with what I believed to be his ignorant and  sexist thought.  He told me I was being sensitive and that I needed to get over it, and even started pointing out reasons why I felt the way I did as if something was wrong with me!  I. was. seething!  I told him that nothing has to be wrong with me or any other woman who sets standards for herself or others and nothing is wrong with the men who can wait and appreciate a woman like that.  Before, I really lost it, I ended the conversation.


As I sat there, aghast, replaying the conversation in my mind, I decided to let my anger go.  It was so unimportant.  The thoughts and opinions of the foolish will not cause me to question or change mine.  I know plenty of men who appreciate the woman that I am and the respect that I have and that type of man, is the only one that matters.  The man I marry will truly be the only that matters and the one that will appreciate the manner in which I carry myself.  Tonight as I write this, I'm empowered by my own strength and am happy with the decisions that I make and the standards that I have set for myself.  I won't be embarrassed and won't question my actions because I've allowed someone to dictate them to appear a certain way.  I can be and am an example for myself, other women my age and older, younger girls, my future children and future generations and that's awesome!


For the men out there, if you agree with my friend, you will only find those type of women and good luck with that, because I'm sure that won't be great in the end.  To the the men out there who can respect and appreciate a woman with standards....thank you for reminding us that you're not all the same.  Most importantly, to my ladies, always stay strong in your convictions and don't allow what others think or believe to direct what you think, what you believe, or who you are.  


I'll leave with a beautiful song by Alicia Keys called "A Woman's Worth."  The title explains it all.  Ladies, don't forget yours....

Until next time....Keep the forward movement....

Almost Doesn't Count...

Since it's the month of February, I figured what better time to launch my entries on love, relationships, and men and women as I know it!  I have plenty of things that come to mind and you know ladies love to chat amongst themselves about our experiences, so I'll share one with you.  A friend and I were having a conversation about relationships.  The topic was that we knew that sometimes men felt that women can't be pleased.  That no matter what they do sometimes, they feel as though they can't make us happy.  Now I can only speak for myself, but I know that at a time or two, I've been guilty of making someone feel this way and I will say it was more my own issues than them, but sometimes fellas, it's you.  Let me tell you why and how it is for women sometimes.


A lot of times, women are ready for more quicker than men are.  Hell, sometimes, we're ready and you're not at all.  And no matter what you tell us, it really only matters what's in our heads, lol.  I'm not saying it's right, but it is definitely true. Fellas let me let you into the mind of a woman real quick.  Now don't completely take this, run with it, and apply it to everything, because you know we're complicated, lol.


A woman who cares about you and that you're involved with in whatever capacity, is going to want what she wants from day one and you probably already know this.  The problem is you don't, but we hang in there anyway thinking that we can show how fabulous we are and persuade you otherwise.  For a while, you may truly stand your ground, but sometimes, somewhere along the line, you begin to fall for us.  You think everything is going great, but we start to get frustrated and irritated by everything and you don't understand why.  It feels like we're always upset and you can't do anything right...right?  Let me give you two examples of how this plays in our mind.


When you start to accept your feelings for us, it's new to you, and therefore you're in no rush.  The thing is, our feelings and frustrations are old to us because we've cared about you for so long or longer than you anyway.  It's as if we're running around a track.  Little do you know we've been running since 1 o'clock.  We keep asking you come along, but you never want to.  We keep running and running hoping that you show up and you do, but not until eight o'clock.  You get that first lap in and are feeling energized.  We are sweating, are tired and thirsty and you can't understand why we get upset and leave the track.  In your mind you showed up, but in ours you almost didn't and when you did, we didn't have the same energy as we did before.


As my friend and I continued to share our experiences, I gave her another example.  Women will deal with a lot when they care about a man.  Whether it's right or wrong, we will.  But eventually a woman gets to a point where the only thing that's good enough is exactly. what. she. wants. and nothing less.  For example, if you were to ask me my ultimate car, I would tell you it's a Bentley.  I just don't think it gets any better, for me anyways.  That is what I ultimately want.  Another one might be nice and I may really like it and enjoy it, but it's not what I truly want.  There is a frame of time that will allow me to enjoy other cars while I'm waiting for my dream car, but then there'll come a moment when nothing is going to be good enough...now follow me because this is just an example; read between the lines.  You could give the best of what you think is the best and I still wouldn't like because it's not what I've been waiting for.


Women operate in the same way.  We'll wait and wait and wait, but then one day something clicks and our emotions don't dictate our actions anymore.  Mind you up until this point our emotions did dictate our actions and didn't care a thing about what you said.  We just went on how we felt and hoped you'd feel the same.  But there comes a point, when no matter what, it's all or nothing...and almost doesn't count.  What you may think is a major step or a major thing, means nothing because we passed that so long ago.  I know, I know, you're thinking "well I didn't know or tell you to go that far", but let me tell you something: our hearts don't hear that.  Our emotions don't care about what you said and emotions definitely don't respect your logic...or any logic for that matter.  


I wish that this entry would've made some things change or click, but it won't, lol.  The battle of the sexes will continue forever, but it's a great thing to get inside the mind of each other to learn and understand more about each other.  It'll definitely make you a better person for you and your future mate.


I'll leave you with one of my favorite Beyonce songs.  It's perfect, because it pretty much describes what we as women, would do if we were men because this is how we sometimes perceive you all.  Right or wrong fellas, the ladies agree, lol.  







Until next time....keep the forward movement...

Do YOU.....

Lately I've noticed something.  I like to help out in whatever capacity I can.  I'm usually the "go-to" person for a lot of things, and I usually do it.  I'm the type of person that whether I want to do it or not, if it helps, I will.  That's one of the ways I show that I care; whether I know you or not.  It's just me.  When you genuinely do things, you don't expect it in return, but in the back of your mind, I'm sure you want some sort of appreciation.  A simple "thank you" would suffice.  I've come to find out the hard way that sometimes no matter what you do, or how much you do, it may never be enough.  For whatever reason, people won't always be as appreciative as you'd like and often times, what you don't do is what they'll remember.  

This happens in other ways too.  For instance,  I have so many ventures that I'm actively working on and of course, naturally, I just know that everyone I know will be so supportive and completely on board with it, but they're not.  If some even show interest, it's minute or sometimes ingenuine though they think I don't notice.   Funny enough, strangers can be more supportive than the poeple you know.

In my celebratory moments, there are still some that cringe or don't fully celebrate my success.  It pains them to see me reach what they have not and probably won't.

Overall. there are things that you do even with the most sincere of intentions, and unfortunately, it can be received in a completely different manner.  It's out of your control.  If you've ever argued with someone about something they were 100% sure about even if you knew it was wrong, all that mattered was what they thought.  How frustrating, huh?  It makes you not want to share your success right?  It makes you not want to continue to reach out all the time and help right?  It makes it you not want to give your all right?....ABSOLUTELY NOT!

The fact of the matter is no matter what you do and how well you do it or what great intentions you have in doing it, everyone will not always be elated for you.  Some are guaranteed to forget all the good and hold on to the bad.  Some will allow their jealousy and low self-esteem to get in the way of their potential happiness and support for you.  Does this mean you stop being yourself?  Nope!  Whether you get a "thank you"  and are remembered for good or not, continue to still do it.  Whether you have 100 people celebrating with you or 1 person, you celebrate anyway!  Whether people believe in you or not, continue to realize that dream until it's a reality!

What I really want you to keep in mind is to never stop doing YOU.  Never allow people, places, or things, to get in the way of you continuing to be you.  Don't let situations determines the type of person you are or what you become.  Don't let them take the good outof you.  Don't let anything taint you.  At the end of the day, YOU will have to be happy with YOU and if you like who you are and know what you're about, that's worth so much more than anything else.

Surprisingly, in feeling somewhat annoyed with the fact that I felt a little underappreciated, I ran into this poem or shall I say, it found me.  While waiting in my doctor's office, a nurse made a copy and handed it to me not knowing a thing about my thoughts.  Coincidence....I think not.  Tonight, it's the perfect way to end.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfatihful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

Until next time....keep the forward movement....