Give and Take....

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations in relationships.  When one hears "expectation", you automatically assume it's in reference to a romantic relationship, but there are expectations in friendships, business relationships, and familial relationships as well.  As I sat back and thought deeper about it, I started viewing it in a different way.

A friend of mine and I had a conversation about the expectations in a friendship.  I'll admit that I usually expect what I give out and when I don't get it, it bothers me.  For example: a big part of my friendship is my expression of always being there.  I make myself accessible at all times.  Regardless of if I'm doing something or not, if I'm asleep or not, if I'm not feeling well or not, I make myself available.  Unless there is absolutely no way I can be there, I'm there.  I consider myself a pretty consistant person, so subconsciously (and consciously as well), I expect the same.  He on the other hand, sees things differently.  He is not as consistant as I am and sees no problem with it.  He views it as 2 people may not or will not necessarily have the same contribution to the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is.  He asked me why I couldn't just be happy in the fact that my consistancy would be one of the things I brought to the friendship and what he brought (for example: patience and understanding) would be his contribution.  What we contributed that the other lacked, we'd use as learning tools and be grateful for. 

Initially, I wasn't ecstatic with his explaination, which in my mind was a well thought, convenient excuse, but the more and more I thought about it, as much as I may dislike it, it made a lot of sense.  How many times have you been unhappy with the way things are going?  Whether it be within a friendship or a relationship, men and women have silent expectations.  Even if you think you don't, you subconsciously expect something that you may not get.  This is the pivotal time where you can either think that something is wrong with them and be frustrated or you can start to figure out what it is that you want and recognize what the other person provides in the friendship and/or relationship.  Instead of focusing on what they're not doing or bringing, acknowledge the things they are bringing and doing and rest in the comfort of those things.  They may never do the specific thing(s) you'd like them to because that's simply not them and if they tried it would be ingenuine.  You may never do/give a specific thing that they want either, but if you both take the take to accept each other and what is brought by each, you'll be much more satisfied in your accepting place.

Today, start to evaluate your relationships and see if you're taking it for granted because of your focus.  Shift your perspective and appreciate that person for who they are and what they bring.  Before you know it, you may not even notice what you thought you needed before! 

Live, Laugh, LOVE.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...