Scary Thoughts.....

What if?  Let’s say this happens?  Worst case scenario?  These are some of the phrases people often use when they consider the outcomes of circumstances that they have no control over.  Instead of focusing on what could be, people tend to lean toward all the things that stand in the way of the happier possibilities.  In a world where you’re taught to expect nothing, but hope for the best, why are we still hoping for less?

This week, one of my clients called me frazzled with a particular situation.  As with any of my clients, I make myself available within sessions for emergency situations and this was just that.  I will not go into detail for obvious ethical reasons, but what I will say is that the majority of our conversation was me offering positive possibilities for every negative one she came up with.  Though the situations she brought up were very possible, she was operating out of fear.  Every negative reason she gave was something that she created based off of an idea of what could possibly be since she wasn’t really sure of what was.  My job and goal was to get her to see the infinite positive possibilities as well as teach her to combat her own negative thinking that was caused my her increased anxiety.  I’m not oblivious to the fact that yes, negative things do occur, but we mustn’t think only in terms of the realization of our fears, but also with the possibility of the positive outcomes.  

Also, this week, one of my family members was having a procedure done.  As we discussed who was taking him to the doctor and the prep for the procedure, he stated “what if they put me to sleep and I don’t wake up?”  Though this is a normal fear, especially for those that have never been under anesthesia,  I wondered why that’s the first thing that comes to mind?  As I did my best to coax him into being calm and thinking of the great health benefits of the procedure, he began to see the glass as half full. 

As happy as I was that I could help veer the views of two people into a positive direction, it got me wondering why we always go to the worst case scenario?  What one must understand is that not only do our fears paralyze and control us, but if we fear them too much, we begin to act based off of the imaginary consequences and situations we’ve created.  My advice: always be prepared for the possibilities of what life may bring, but don’t allow the fears of the unknown and uncontrollable to dictate your thinking. Often times, our lives go in the direction of our most dominant thoughts, so the next time you start thinking about the possibility of the worst, stop yourself, and embrace the euphoric joy of the best!

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

What are you willing to accept?

Life is chalk full of choices, but along with those choices comes many consequences.  What easier and more palpable way to swallow the more negative ones by pointing the finger and curling up in a victimized fetal position?  There always HAS to be something that was done to you because to actually take the responsibility that the negative outcome was in direct relation to the very choice and action you made is more than unnerving.  It places the ever-horrendous reflection that can only be seen by the fun-house mirror at the circus.  In this day in age, when most people are intelligent enough to mildly accurately self-diagnose the nature of their own psychological defect and the effects it’s had on their actions, why is it still so hard to take the blame?

Life is all about relationships.  Whether platonic or romantic, a dictatorship or business, they all exist between two or more people.  Regardless of the way you choose to label yours, which ever way it’s going, is exactly the way you want it to.  There are many who would beg to differ, but many focus on the wrong thing.  We, as human beings, especially us women, figure that our results will come from the outcomes we’ve created in our minds based on our current and consistent actions, regardless of the consistent truths we’ve been shown.  Movement needs to happen on our own time frame.  Apologies need to happen when we think they should.  Understanding and enlightenment needs to happen at a certain juncture.  As a woman, I’m totally guilty of this, but the more I begin to think, the more clear it becomes.  It’s not about you and it’s not about me.  It’s about what you’re willing to deal with; what you’re willing to ACCEPT.  Never do we dig beyond what we see in terms of men and that is where everything truly lies.  This is the truth for everyone, however.  There are experiences and pasts that are so deeply engraved that lend themselves to the current creation of the person you now know.  You are receiving a part of them that has always been there that has nothing to do with you or what you provide.  To be able to successfully “have it your way” or as close to it as you can, you must understand that person and all their relative experiences for your “aha moment.”  The greater issue and hope is that they themselves understand it and if they haven’t worked on it, are open to digging deep, learning to walk in the thundering rain of their issue(s), and accept living in the sunshine of their newly overcome circumstances and life.  When that becomes possible, then everything can really move forward. 

A very significant realization that I’ve had in the past few days is my responsibility for my time.  For a very long time now, but especially most recently, I’ve discussed my time or lack thereof.  My time often seems to go to a lot of other things and doesn’t allow me to complete or even start what I intended.  It has been this way for years.  Sure, there have been times when I’ve put my foot down about it, but in a way, my guilt and desire to be of service and not let everyone down, became an enabler of some sort.  It also became the way I victimized myself.  After spending time with a very significant someone recently and watching them take accountability in ways I’d never seen before, it gave me the tools to become accountable as well.  The hardest part: being accountable for all the things you don’t like or all the negative things.  It’s not the easiest pill to swallow, but when you do, it becomes easier.  Personal acceptability allows you to see and make the choices that were always there in the first place.  There are no blindfolds that come in the forms of excuses or victimized circumstances.  There is only the truth and the choices you make with your present actions and when things don’t work out the way you thought, you remain present and responsible and do better next time.  What I am doing now is being present and protective with my time.  If that means saying “no” to some things and people, then I’m going to actively say “no” knowing that this will contribute to the protection of my time and the evolution of me.  

Whether it’s being present in the relationship you choose or taking charge of your time and life, the sooner you understand that you are a part of everything, good and bad, the better off you will be.  You have the power to choose and the power to be empowered by the outcomes of your choices.  Pray that God teaches you the lesson from each choice and that you are proud to accept the life you’ve created!

Until next time...keep the forward movement....