Fearless Tips- Have it all (in love) without losing yourself!!!

With “Think Like A Man” being a number one box office hit, it has many people talking.  The phenomenon began with Steve Harvey’s book and have taken the world by storm once again with it’s recent film release.  After reading the book, many women took every word to heart and coincidentally, the film highlighted some of that behavior.  In the end, the movie showed that being true to yourself and your desires is what counts---not playing games.  Here’s a few tips on how to have it all without losing yourself.

Friends First- People really underestimate the importance of a friendship in a relationship.   It’s unfortunate that many find that though they may love their significant other, they really don’t like them.  Ouch!  Without all the romantic intricacies involved, you should still be able to enjoy him just the same.  Good communication, understanding, and genuine caring is lasting.  When getting to know a new possible Mr. Right, take it slow and build on a friendship.  

Ask Questions...Don’t Investigate- Let’s be real ladies, sometimes our desire to find out if we should invest our time or not comes off a bit, eh...scary.  Yes, there are important questions that need to be asked, but you will find that your approach can determine the answer.  Rather than make a man feel like he’s on trial, initiate a smooth conversation about life in general.  Set the tone for comfortability without judgement and you will find that he will not only answer some general questions, but will provide you with answers to questions you didn’t even ask!

To Thine Own Self Be True- You know who you are at your core.  You know what you desire, what you’re willing to be flexible with, and what’s on your “non-negotiable” list.  Don’t change it!  There’s compromise and then there’s losing yourself hoping to get a man---NOT a good idea!  Never dismiss your values, beliefs, and what’s truly important.  The right man, who is worth it and who recognizes your worth, will be willing to do what it takes to gain your trust and love when the time is right!  

Until next time....keep the forward movement....

Reading and Writing Through Life.... (written for KIDMUNICATOR)

As a child I always found myself  “in my head.”  I constantly had thoughts swarming around but for some reason I was always apprehensive to sharing them.  Everyone else in my family was very chatty and said whatever came to mind, but I always guarded my thoughts.  Always the bookworm, you could find me locked in my room, under the covers, immersed in a novel.  The years of reading and training that my parents put me through (they’re avid believers of reading and education) paid off.  I excelled in school, read years above my grade level, and was even offered to be skipped up two grades!  Eventually, I began to put my thoughts and ideas from my reading into my own words.  I started writing.  At first, I kept it to myself, but after much coaxing from my teacher, I decided to share my stories with my classmates.  They enjoyed it so much that it became a weekly event that grew into sharing my stories with three other classes as well.  Not only did it provide me an outlet for thoughts and creativity, it also increased my socialization skills and self-esteem.  

Writing my own stories caused me to want to relay my own thoughts down as well which lead me into journaling.  Journaling opened up a new lane of self-expression for me.  There I was able to express my feelings about everyday life, things that were occurring in my family, as well as my hopes as dreams for the future.  Looking back, some of it even served as a vision board (if you will), because a lot of what I said I wanted to accomplish had already been written.  Journaling is so important because whether you realize it or not, it is somewhat therapeutic.  It allows you to face your thoughts as you write them in plain view and helps you process what’s really going on in your mind.  Not only does it aid in self-healing, it also increases your vernacular and reading skill-set.  Double-win!

My love for reading and writing has taken me quite far.  What began as a love for education and creativity in my youth, has become a way of life in my adulthood.   I currently lend my writing talents to several magazines as an editor/contributor, am completing my first book, and still find the time to journal in the form of my weekly blog posts (www.stephaniebenoit.blogspot.com).  Something that began so simply as me writing down my feelings or getting lost in the fantasy of a novel’s world has shaped my reality beautifully.  

If you feel that you don’t always want to talk about it, write about it first or take the time to research a book that may be of healing for you.  Remember that no one can ever take away your words, your heart, or your education!

Live.  Laugh.  Learn.