Ring the Alarm....Time to MOVE...

When I prepped my mind for this blog entry, I was thinking of something completely different. In my quest to inspire and speak from my soul, I often will go off of what I feel. At times though, the learned lessons need to be shared and that is more valuable than opinion.  I’m sure that everyone can attest to that perfect feeling of complete rest in your sleep. It’s like even though you’ve been sleeping for a while, this part of your sleep feels like the best rest you’ve ever had. Something about it puts you at inexplicable ease. It’s as if you’re in a quicksand of sleep. Usually at this time is when that screeching and annoying sound thrusts you out of your euphoric slumber….the ALARM! The alarm not only wakes you up….it pulls you out of that comfortable place whether you want to get up or not. It waits for the certain time…the appointed time…and snatches you up.

 This was a trying week for me. The week that I had set out for myself escaped my memory as my reality set in. Issues surfaced everywhere I turned, and some of the support that I thought I had, completely crumbled. Lately, I’ve been unshakeable and thrive on consistently moving forward, but sometimes, you have to take a step back and reflect on what’s going on in your life. I took the time to do that and all of a sudden, despite this week’s occurrences, the alarm clock that sprung me out of my slumber and comfort, didn’t feel so uncomfortable anymore.

God works in the very same way as the alarm clock. So many people have dreams and desires that they want to accomplish, but are waiting for the right time. They’re waiting until they have the right amount in their bank account. They’re waiting until their major problems are over and their lives are a little calmer. They’re waiting for the right time of year because they’ve made it up in their minds that that would be a good time to leave. The truth is, being comfortable is just as much of a detriment as anything else. No matter how much you may want to move, that comfort, and sometimes fear, will allow you to stay where you are. When God has a plan for you, He will pluck you from where you are and take you to where He has already ordained you to be to reach newer heights than ever before. You have desires and dreams that He’s placed in your heart. That passion that drives you is what He instilled in you. Therefore, if you aren’t moving, He will move you. Your job is to put your seatbelt on, trust Him, and take everything you can from the journey. Like a rollercoaster that’s descending at lightning speed, you may be frightened and filled with anxiety, but just like you’re sure that no matter how fast it goes, it will catch you at the bottom and pull you right up, God will do the same.


This week, I urge you to be strong in the trials you may face. It may just be the best thing that happens to you and the alarm that you need to wake you up, get you out, and move you forward.

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Innocent until proven guilty?

This morning I had the pleasure *insert eye roll and deep sigh* to fulfill my request (really I had no choice, lol) to attend my summons for jury duty. As I got on the highway, my mind was filled with thoughts of how I could get back into bed and indulge in 30 more minutes of euphoric rest. Seeing as how this wouldn't happen, I shifted my thoughts into getting through the day and focusing on more positive things. I turned on the radio, listened to one of my favorite morning shows, laughed out loud several times, and begin to round out my professional court room look. As I took the time and pride to ensure that my presentation would be an appeasing one, I thought of how important it is to have the "right look".


Whether we want to admit it or not, people are being judged and judge everyday. You are, sometimes, solely judged on the way you present yourself, even if you haven't opened your mouth yet. In a world where we're so focused on the outside, I wondered how much that affected our inside.
At the beginning of jury duty, they gave us an orientation. Amongst the basic information, a worker explained that the judge, as well as lawyers, would be asking questions to ensure that the jurors’ selected would be in no way biased. My thoughts fell into wondering how one ever knows if they're bias. Do we ever really give someone a fair shot and only look at the facts stated? We think we do it everyday. We walk around carelessly, exuding openness, but the moment someone "looks dangerous", all of that free thinking goes out of the window and we clutch our purses and keep our fingers on the lock button in our car doors. If a woman walks in scantily clad, people automatically treat her as if she's less than, because she doesn't "look respectable" or worthy of such a thing. If a man steps out of a vehicle that is completely run down, he doesn't garner the same respect as the man who steps out of the Mercedes. To most people, he's just the "average Joe" so why give him any more than a passing glance.


In no way do I think any of this is fair, but I do believe that this is the way that people are programmed to be. Until we start changing our thinking (and this is a day by day process for life, I might add), we will never be at the point where we can accept people without setting them up for failure with our version of what they are supposed to look like and be. I will say this however, and for me, it's what's most important: because we do live in a society that is based on looks and the way you present yourself, you must understand that and act accordingly. The way that you present yourself is the way that you will inevitably be perceived. It's one thing to have less than, because that has nothing to do with who you are and can't change overnight, but it's another thing to NOT take pride in the way that you look. If you want to be taken seriously at a business meeting, don't walk in with sneakers and baseball cap. If you want to be the face of ladies motivation everywhere, respect yourself enough to look, act, and be a lady. You always have a choice, but always accept personal responsibility in the fact that you made the choice and everything that comes with it belongs to you....whether you want it or not.


Allow yourself to be the juror of your life and treat people the way you want to be treated: with respect, honor, and complete innocence…until proven guilty.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

True Love....

"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"- Sam Keen.  

If I was asked what my favorite love quote is, the above would surely be among the first to come to me.  When I think of love, TRUE love, what comes to mind is sacrifice.  I define true love as loving someone when things aren't going so well; loving someone when they're at their lowest point; loving someone when you can't afford to purchase anything other than being in each other's presence and enjoying each other on the comfort of your couch.  To truly love, is to find pleasure in the simplicity that lies with truly being comfortable with each other enough to be open and transparent.  It has to be enough to love each other through the flaws that only emotions and a deep connection will allow you to accept.  

It's so easy to love someone when they're riding high.  The true test and admission of your love comes from all the events that aren't so easy.  Think about it: it's easy to be so in love when everything is going right.  You'll never have a problem getting used to the things that are enjoyable and easy.  What's not going to be easy is loving that person through times when they're struggling, when they haven't found themselves, through family issues, or unforseen negative situations.  If you can stick around for that, it ends up being a testament of your love and caring for that person.  

So often, people get together because things seem to "fit".  They work well together and it "makes sense."  Unfortunately, true love, inconvenient, all-consuming, never-ending love asks for so much more than the logistics to work together.  It asks for two people to be committed to the love that they have for each other and the work that it'll take to keep and develop it. 

Define for yourself what you believe true love to be ...whether you have it or are waiting for it; you'll never have to question it.

Live. Laugh. LOVE...TRULY.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

The REAL Deal...

In a world where good looks and sex appeal thrive over brains and morals, I wondered how important it is to have the perfect figure. The media bombards us with visions of what the female body should like: big breasts, a small waist, and an ample behind or a walking supermodel in a size 0. Unfortunately, everyone is not built like that. Most people actually aren't. Because of what we're shown, many women are choosing to alter their body in order to be accepted or fit the status quo.

A recent survey shows that of the people surveyed, 65% of them would seriously ponder getting plastic surgery, if money wasn't a factor. The percentage has greatly increased in the past few years and is continuing to increase with the accessibility of plastic surgery. Initially, plastic surgery was for the rich and famous. No payment plans were taken and no deals were made. Nowadays, you can finance your breasts along with getting a new plan for your next procedure. More and more, a lot of people who can't afford a better doctor are shopping around for "doctors" that will give them a discount...but at what price?
The number of horror stories of the surgeries that have gone wrong is on the rise as the need for acceptance continues to grow. With each successful story comes its negative counterpart illustrating just how ugly the fascination of beauty can be. Some women are willing to risk their lives instead of doing their research and taking the proper precautions.


My opinion is this: I will always advocate learning to love what God has given you. I personally feel that it's always the best option. However: whether you agree with plastic surgery or not, do it because YOU want to make yourself happy...and no one else. Some may not want to admit it but men and their obsession with the female physique drive certain women to alter their appearance. I took the time to survey men and found that the majority of them preferred their women "as-is" and "au natural." Regardless of the reasons, always make sure that the person on the procedure table will wake up with no regrets. No matter what....live, laugh, and LOVE YOU.

Don't Be Afraid to Say "No"...

When you're trying for the things that you want, you tend to develop the mindset of getting involved in everything that comes your way.  You think, "I must take all opportunities because I never know which one may catapult me to my successful place."  You move through opportunity after opportunity still committed and determined, unfazed by the let-downs.  If what you really want comes by any means necessary, is every mean necessary?

Not one to just assume that I know, I try to remain open to almost everything.  I listen to every pitch, research every idea, and meet every person.  The truth is, you really never know how one great chance may turn out,  but at times, you may know more than you think you do.  A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from someone who wanted me to work with their company.  Instantly, my ears perked up and I bombarded them with questions.  Although, I told myself I'd take it slow, in my mind, I'd already seen the fruits of my labor and tasted success with them.  I felt that although it wouldn't be my forever, it would be a great addition to my growing list of skills and experience.  It would allow me to become familiar within a field that I had only dabbled in.  It would allow me to back up my natural talents with concrete experience...or so I thought.  I scheduled a time to speak with them the next morning along with the executives.  The next morning, I woke up already in the frame of mind of moving beyond this opportunity to the many that lie ahead of me.  With that, I made the phone call and began the lengthy process.  Something happened however.  The feeling of euphoria that I had previously experienced from the unknown, dissipated and I was left with a feeling that was an icy cold blow of reality.  This was not what I thought it would be...but...it was still a good opportunity.  What was I to do?  I pondered, examined, and reflected.  No matter how good I made it sound, there was something in the pit of my stomach that kept telling me to hold off.  As much as I tried to fight it, I eventually gave in and enveloped my God-given intuition.  I told them that I whole heartedly appreciated the opportunity, but I'd prefer to be respectful of them and both of our times and not waste it....and with that I moved on.  I got off of the phone, cross-examining myself as if I was on the supreme court's stand, but I ended up winning my case as I knew I made the right choice, by choosing to pass up that specific chance.

Some may be reading this shaking their heads, but as you navigate through life to find your dreams, at some point, you will learn that every "opportunity" isn't the opportunity for you.  There is a difference between remaining open versus spreading yourself thin and wasting time and energy on something that was never meant to push you down your path.  It's your job to know your needs, desires, and your worth.  When all of these things are aligned, you will learn to properly choose the things to devote your time to.  Don't be afraid to say "no" to something or someone.  Your hard and consistent work will never fail you.  At some point, at the right time, your opportunity will reward you by a knock on your door.  Be encouraged and keep pushing.  

Until next time...keep moving forward...

Give and Take....

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations in relationships.  When one hears "expectation", you automatically assume it's in reference to a romantic relationship, but there are expectations in friendships, business relationships, and familial relationships as well.  As I sat back and thought deeper about it, I started viewing it in a different way.

A friend of mine and I had a conversation about the expectations in a friendship.  I'll admit that I usually expect what I give out and when I don't get it, it bothers me.  For example: a big part of my friendship is my expression of always being there.  I make myself accessible at all times.  Regardless of if I'm doing something or not, if I'm asleep or not, if I'm not feeling well or not, I make myself available.  Unless there is absolutely no way I can be there, I'm there.  I consider myself a pretty consistant person, so subconsciously (and consciously as well), I expect the same.  He on the other hand, sees things differently.  He is not as consistant as I am and sees no problem with it.  He views it as 2 people may not or will not necessarily have the same contribution to the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is.  He asked me why I couldn't just be happy in the fact that my consistancy would be one of the things I brought to the friendship and what he brought (for example: patience and understanding) would be his contribution.  What we contributed that the other lacked, we'd use as learning tools and be grateful for. 

Initially, I wasn't ecstatic with his explaination, which in my mind was a well thought, convenient excuse, but the more and more I thought about it, as much as I may dislike it, it made a lot of sense.  How many times have you been unhappy with the way things are going?  Whether it be within a friendship or a relationship, men and women have silent expectations.  Even if you think you don't, you subconsciously expect something that you may not get.  This is the pivotal time where you can either think that something is wrong with them and be frustrated or you can start to figure out what it is that you want and recognize what the other person provides in the friendship and/or relationship.  Instead of focusing on what they're not doing or bringing, acknowledge the things they are bringing and doing and rest in the comfort of those things.  They may never do the specific thing(s) you'd like them to because that's simply not them and if they tried it would be ingenuine.  You may never do/give a specific thing that they want either, but if you both take the take to accept each other and what is brought by each, you'll be much more satisfied in your accepting place.

Today, start to evaluate your relationships and see if you're taking it for granted because of your focus.  Shift your perspective and appreciate that person for who they are and what they bring.  Before you know it, you may not even notice what you thought you needed before! 

Live, Laugh, LOVE.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Hit the Ground Running....

So we're midway through the first month of the new year and unfortunately for some, their resolutions have already resolved to be begin again in 2012.  Though sad, it's actually pretty comical because the people who usually don't make it past the first few weeks, are more than likely, "repeat resolutions offenders."  These are the people who every single year, decide that this is the year to (fill in the blank), but deep down, they know that they're not really going to put in the effort that it takes to truly accomplish their goal.  It may not always be that they don't genuinely want to put in the effort, it's just that, as human beings, we tend to get caught in the habits that we've created for ourselves, so even if we truly desire something, it's almost more comfortable to give in to what we've been doing, even if it isn't condusive to the plans we've set for ourselves. 

Some of us, on the other hand, are still in our stride.  That initial adrenaline rush (the possibility of the great things in the new year) is what propels you.  At the beginning of the year, the wind blows with you, in the direction that you're running.  At some point, and usually not too long after, it begins to blow in the opposite direction.  Now you're running against it (obstacles).  What do the successful do when they're getting the air sucked out of them and hurdles are trying to blow them away?  Adapt and learn to breathe differently.

Within the last few months, I've been juggling a lot.  I was near the end of one of the projects that I was working feverishly on and the closer I got to that coveted light at the end of the tunnel, the more I could feel the euporia that I knew came with finishing such a big project...until, something changed that pushed me all the way back.  When I realized that I had to start over, I literally sat completely still on the floor.  Unable to move, all I could do was think to myself that no matter how upset I got, no matter how far it pushed everything else back that was on my long list of projects, it still needed to be done.  With that thought in mind, I took a few moments to breathe, and got back to work.  I balanced and took care of the projects that needed to be done ASAP, and got back to work on it.  A few days later, I completed my project, breathed a sigh of relief, and inhaled the sweet smell of accomplishment.  I pushed myself and kept running. 

As you begin to face the opposing blows of life that try to deter you off of your path,  take a breathe, and push the winds back.  Pick up your pace and run even harder.  When you finally break through, you'll be even closer to your goal than ever before.  So remember, when you get knocked down, instead of giving up, stand back up, and hit the ground running!

Unitl next time....keep the forward movement....