Birds of a Feather...

Growing up, my parents were very particular about who I spent my time with.  They observed all of my friends and if there was one that they felt wasn't a good influence, I was no longer allowed to be around them.  It was just that simple.  For years, I'd be so upset everytime they did this because in my eyes, there was nothing wrong and whatever it is that they did, could never affect me.  I'd always been very independent and marched to the beat of my own drum, so no one could make me do anything.  What they always knew and what I was unaware of at the time was that despite how strong you are, you're never too strong to fall victim to the characterstics and mindsets of the people you spend a lot of time with.  

The first time, I really understood what my parents had been saying all along was in highschool.  I was attending a new school and had a new set of friends.  Before I knew it, I was mimicking one of them in the way they spoke and phrases they said.  The quiet and shy girl that I used to be was no longer and although some aspects of the change was good, all of it was not.  Not until someone pointed it out as I was doing it, and not until it was clearly too late, did I realize that I had picked up some of her bad habits.  In college, the same thing happened.  The person, I was freshman year, completely changed by junior year.  I joined an organization and adopted their way of thought.  Everyone progresses throughout their life and definately in college, but there is a difference between progressing naturally on your own and progressing through the adoption of the characterstics of the people you spend your time with.  Depending on who they are, can make or break you.

The most recent experience was last week.  I've been working on a project with a group of people.  Overall, the group dynamic is pretty good, but there is this one person who emotes a lot of negative energy and it's so thick that you can cut it with a knife.  It doesn't affect me because I don't pay that individual any attention, but her attitude was affecting other people though.  Last week, she was away.  What was supposed to be a hectic week, ended up being the most fluid and fun in a long time. I noticed the change amongst my group members, especially one of them, almost instantaneously.  Throughout the week, more and more people mentioned how great the week was going and no one, really mentioned why, but I knew, without them saying it, that it was the person who was missing, that made the group dynamic as a whole, more pleasant.  The same girl, who was affected the most by this girl's absence came to me at the end of the week and said "I had no idea how much one person's negativity can affect me so much.  I almost didn't even notice it in myself until this week."  She sat back and reveled in her "aha" moment. 

With all that has happened, it reminded me how important it is for me to surround myself with the RIGHT people.  The people who will only help me progress and who are on the path that I'm on whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally, or financially.  My pastor always closes out his sermons with this saying: "the people you run with are the people you become."  Not only have I heard this at church, but I've also heard it at an endless number of business conferences that I've attended.  One of the sayings that a millionaire I know says is this: "you are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with."  When you think about this, do you like who you surround yourself with?  Are these the people who are on the same upward bound path that you are or are they even more successful than you?  If not, you may want to re-assess your connections.  This doesn't mean you should drop your friends and family, lol, but when it comes to the people you choose to devote important and productive time to, you may want to make wiser choices.  I always think of the phrases "guilty by association" and "birds of a feather flock together." It may not be fair, but it's a reality.

As you live each day, remember to surround yourself with those who bring about the positive in every form.  It will not only help propel you to the next level, but will also help mold you and put you in the position to help others.

Below is an awesome video of motivational speaker Les Brown speaking on exactly what this blog is about.  I couldn't have a found a more perfect video and way to end this entry.





Until next time...keep the forward movement....