Where I Wanna Be....

"I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I was, and I'm on my way to where I'm going to be."   This is one of the quotes that I often say when I'm not feeling too great about me.  It automatically puts things into perspective and almost has you feeling ashamed for not always realizing where you are....or more importantly, where you came from.  Earlier this year, I reconnected with a friend who I modeled with in college.  She is practically a sister to me so I fondly refer to her as 'sis'.   Anyway, being that we hadn't spoken in years, our "catch conversation" that was suppose to be a mere few minutes, developed into a 4 hour "what has gone on with you in the past few years" conversation.  Those are the best by the way.  Somehow, we began to refer to college days and our struggles at that time.  She discussed not having a car and then having one that she had to share that had no air conditioning.  We went to school in the south where the wind wouldn't be blow even if it meant you dying, lol.  As we discussed this, I rang in with the 89' hatch back toyota tercel that I had with the paint chipping, no air conditioning, and no radio.  I waited until evening to go out if I didn't absolutely have to, drove around with a cup of ice to keep my body temperature down, and listened to my discman (totally illegal by the way) so that I could have some music.  Go ahead.....I'll finish when you stop laughing :).  As my friend and I were swapping stories, we could barely get them out because of the laughing and tears streaming down our faces.  It is hilarious now but not so much back then.  At that moment, as we turned around to see where we were, we turned back around to see how far we've come. 

Over the weekend, I was at my university's homecoming and it was so good to see everyone.  Of course we had a blast and attended tons of events, but with that came several outfit changes and ridiculous heels all day everyday.  With the excessive stiletto wearing, comes at one point, the urge to throw fashion to the wind, and walk around barefoot, lol.  At one point I was in so much pain that I almost refused to walk anywhere else (yea right, like that was really an option.)  As I began to walk to the car, that was parked in another city as far as my feet were concerned, I decided that instead of focusing on the pain, I'd focus on each step until I got to the car.  At first, all I could think about was how much my feet hurt, but before I knew it I didn't focus on that so much as I did how much closer I was getting to the car.  See, I shifted my thinking and instead of seeing how far away I was from the car, I kept realizing how much closer I was getting with every single step.

Often, we get so caught in looking at how far we are away from the things we want to achieve, that we rarely look back to see how far away we are from the things that we so desperately wanted to get away from.  Believe me, I know it gets hard and it feels like things are so far from being how you'd like, but if you learn to equip yourself with the mindset of knowing where you came from and to keep pushing, you'll get that second wind every time you get tired from the race. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...