In today's world, there's text messaging, skype, email, bbm'ing, google chat, instant messaging, and all the social networks you could handle. There is a ridiculous amount of ways to keep in touch (sometimes stalk, lol) someone nowadays. Technology has made is so that you can never speak to someone and miss not one beat. It's pretty convenient when you think of it. No longer does your long distance love have to cool down until the next time you see each other; with the click of a mouse, you can view and 'enjoy' your honey (as best as possible anyway) via skype video...or so I've heard, lol. With all these ways to connect and maintain communication, the simple phone call seems like a thing of the past and is beginning to be a faint memory. The many forms of "talking" have taken the place of actually picking up the phone and calling someone. Although these things are more convenient, they can't take the place of and will never be as personal as a phone call.
Men usually make excuses when it comes to this. I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there from this perspective because 1. I'm a woman and 2. this is how I feel. Oftentimes, you'll find that men don't really care whether you call or not or what form of communication you use to reach them. You can understand the importance of a phone call if you listen to the apparant grunts and groans of many women when it comes to their man not doing it. He thinks, regardless of the mode of delivery, the message still got there....very logical. A woman, on the other hand, thinks the opposite...it's not exactly the message, but the method of delivery....completely emotional. Neither side is right or wrong. It is what it is because men and women will always be the way they are and if you try to fight that, you'll end up very frustrated.
Speaking from the woman's perspective, nowadays we understand the convenience of texting and all the other ways. Hell, we do it too, so obviously we like it, but every now and then, CALL. In my mind, if you really care about a person, hearing their voice sometimes, shouldn't be torture for you. This doesn't have to occur all day, everyday but at least make the effort. Sometimes it's the simple things. Technology makes it convenient for you to send an e-card, but how about you ask for her address and send her one that she can cherish and keep, versus the one that expires in 30 days. Yes, it's quicker to send her a text telling her that you miss her and are thinking of her (believe me we save every one :) lol), but, it in no way, compares to hearing your voice saying the very same thing. It's PERSONAL. It's less convenient which means you took the time out and women desire that. We desire the EFFORT from you because you don't and won't do it for everyone and that makes it even more special.
Before I go, I must say something to my FELLAS: No, you may not want to call, but compromise. When you care about someone, you do things to make them happy. No, you don't need to change who you are, but making the effort and calling every now and then isn't going to kill you. It's going to show her that you care enough to do the little things that makes her happy....and I'll add that it doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or not. I know a lot of men who love to use that excuse when they don't want to do something, but caring about and being connected to someone gives the middle finger to titles. You obviously care enough, otherwise you wouldn't deal with anything. Now for my LADIES: Don't expect him to all of a sudden start doing what you want him to as many times as you want him to. The key word for us is compromise as well. I'll admit, (and you should too), that sometimes we as women tend to expect from a man not what he's shown, but what we've created in our minds....and unfortunately it only makes things worse. They get upset because we're upset and technically they've done nothing. I used to be so upset that whoever I was dating wasn't calling as much as I'd like him and I'd take it personal. Now, I don't necessarily need calls all day, everyday, but I do like calls sometimes coupled with all the other modes of communication. Appreciate all the little things and don't dismiss his effort.
At the end of the day, men and women will overall continue to function and think in the exact manner that they do. This doesn't mean that you can't evolve or make exceptions. Don't fight it. If you care enough, you'll either get on board or jump ship and make room for someone else!
The new year always springs forth committments (lies, lol) to getting into shape. Some of us make the effort because we're overweight and/or have associated health risks/issues that come with carrying excess weight. Others make the effort for vanity reasons alone. They think of the summer months and the projected nudity that comes with it, lol. Regardless of your motives, the same rule applies to everyone: you are what you eat.
Throughout the first half of the year and now, I've lost weight and maintained my good figure, but it would surprise me how things happened from week to week. For weeks, I'd do heavy cardio, weight training, and eat regularly and I'd lose a few pounds or stay the same. Then there'd be a week that I couldn't work out, and to compensate, I'd eat healthier and smaller portions since I wasn't exercising. Regardless, I'd reluctantly step on the scale with my heart beating fast and my eyes almost shut knowing that if I saw a hint of what I didn't like, my dramatic antics would ensue. I took a few breaths and looked down. To my surprise, I'd lost four pounds! After doing my 'dance of joy', I started thinking how eating and working out affects a person. After pondering to no avail, I left it alone.
A few days later, I was watching a show that dealt with a man who was trying to lose weight and overcome his family's history of obesity. He had been on a diet for the past five months that required him to eat sensibly and exercise. Well, despite knowing this, he worked out, but ate most of whatever he wanted, which wasn't very healthy. In his mind, he felt that his working out would negate everything he ate, so eat he did. When he went in for his 5 month check up, his doctor and dietician gave him a rude awakening. They explained to him that when it comes to losing and/or maintaing your weight, what you eat is 75% and working out is 25%. He had increased his total body fat percentage. Wow!!! Who would've ever thought that all those workouts are in vain when you don't monitor what and how much you're eating. That's when it all clicked!
Portion control and quality is the most important thing. If you go to your local grocery store or even watch television, you'll be bombarded with the 100-calorie packs of most foods that are pre-packaged. The first thing that comes to mind is 'diet food', but if you look at the ingredients, you'll find that there's no difference between that and the other containers. The food isn't different, the portion is. Often times, you eat all of something simply because it's there, not because you weren't satisfied midway through the meal. Because of this, you end up consuming way more calories that necessary. By portion controlling, whether it's through pre-package items, or portioning at home, you will give yourself and your body the habit of eating less and being satisfied. When you get the hang of this, you'll find yourself hungrier not because you didn't eat enough, but because your metabolism is speeding up since it's not bogged down by loads of heavy foods and inconsistant eating. Alot of people lose a lot of weight without even working out, though I enjoy and recommend it. They just change their portions. Of course it's important to make healthier choices, but in order to a make a life long change, you must balance the good with the bad in order not to deprive yourself. In essence...everything in moderation.
Here's to wishing you the sexiest summer possible!!!! :)
A few weeks ago, I came home completely exhausted and all I wanted to do was get in bed. As I began to undress, I began thinking about where my energy went. Seven months ago, I wasn't as productive as I am now. Sure there were plenty of things that I wanted to do, but things kept me from beginning to work on them. I gave all my energy to the day. I gave it to my job and to all the things that everyone needed me to do for them. When I finally sat down to do something for myself, there came something or someone else that had to come before me. By the time, I'd get around to accomplishing my task, I'd be too tired or didn't have the time anymore. That day, when I wanted to lay down, reminded me of the old, unproductive me. It had me questioning what my actions reflected. When I realized what I had been doing, I became frustrated and disappointed. All this time, I've been giving my energy to work. Everyday, you give and give and give of yourself to help build or continue somebody else's dream. By the time you're done slaving for them, you have nothing left for yourself. So day after day, month after month, and year after year, the excuses that you've made legitimate to yourself, keep you from accomplishing the things you so desperately desire. You end up frustrated and even further away from your true destiny. Your words say that you want to do so many great things, but your actions show that you are not willing to make the effort and sacrifice.
No matter where you are in life, you can always change your circumstances. You can change the fact that you're not actively working toward your goal by changing your actions. Here are a few ideas that I suggest and have done myself:
Make Yourself a Priority:This the most important one to me, because if you understand this, then everything usually falls into place. I don't know about you, but no matter how highly I think of myself, I tend to push myself and my projects aside sometimes and help someone else. While that is a nice thing, you must learn how to balance, and sometimes the true balance, is knowing that you must make yourself the priority. You truly can't be your best to someone else if you're not giving the same respect to your personal projects and desires.
Make a To-Do List:Whether you choose to make a daily, weekly, or monthly list, make one and actually accomplish the things you put on there! Put things on there that are attainable and are on route to taking you to where you want to be. DO NOT make a new one with new tasks when you haven't completed the things on the first list. Most people are visual and by writing things down, you'll be able to be aware of where you really are and what you really need to do.
Complete at least one task a day: One may seem insignificant, but when you're consistantly doing one more thing, it will add up to alot. If you're working throughout the day, this is also a great way to keep from neglecting your personal projects. Even if you're tired from a long day, you can still complete one task. Remind yourself of where you want to be and acknowledge how negative you feel in your current reality. That will definately motivate you to fight through your fatigue. Depending on the task, you can certainly do more than one, but don't do less...that means you're doing NOTHING.
Celebrate the achievements...even the small ones: Getting where you want to be doesn't happen overnight and it's not easy at all. Sometimes we get so wrapped up pushing to be where we want, that we ignore and dismiss the small victories and accomplishments. You become more negative because your focus is more on what you haven't accomplished versus what you have. The joy that comes from acknowledging the progress you've made motivate you to continue moving foward!
I'll leave you with the saying that never gets old: "actions speak louder than words." Go silently shout through your actions!
In life, you must take chances. You can't just simply wish things into existence, you must take action. A month or so ago, I saw a contest on oprah.com and decided to enter. As I began to think of concepts for my entry, I decided against entering. I felt that so many would be trying out and it was pointless for me to enter because I had no chance. My own insecurities caused me to dismiss a great opportunity. As much as I knew that that was the wrong the decision, I didn't change my mind right then. A few weeks passed and I came across an entry from a contestant. As I viewed it, I kept thinking to myself "I can do so much better than that." Then another thought entered my mind: "the nerve of me to be judging someone else's entry when I didn't even have the confidence to enter myself." At that moment is when I decided not to allow my fears to dictate my actions and I entered the contest. Whether I win or not, I took the chance and that is what's most important. I took ACTION and until you take action, nothing will happen. If you continue to take action and work toward your goal, there is no option other than for it to all work out!
View my entry below and be sure to place as many votes as you can! Click here to vote for my video!
A month ago I was online and ran into a great opportunity. Instantly, I bacame so excited at the possibility of actually getting this opportunity. I was thinking "I could do this. It would be so great for me!" A few minutes later, for whatever reason, I decided against trying for this contest. I don't know when it happened or what it was, but I looked at the magnitude of the opportunity and thought about how many people were probably going to enter as well, and then felt that it was pointless. With that, what could've been a great conquest, turned into a memory.
A few weeks later, I was online again and I ran across an entry of someone who entered the same contest. As I watched the contestant's video, I said to myself "I could do way better than that. The entry isn't even that great." Something inside of me said "the nerve of you to be judging someone else when you didn't even try yourself." Right then is when I decided to enter the contest.
This battle within myself got me thinking. Why is it that we talk ourselves out of things? Sometimes, you can be your biggest enemy and that is the reason why you don't achieve things. Regardless of if you realize it or not, you can speak self-defeating thoughts into your life and discourage yourself from becoming who you are destined to be. True, each feat you attempt to conquer may seem impossible, but if everyone felt that way, no one would achieve a thing. Discoveries wouldn't be made, lives couldn't be saved, and all the successful/famous people of the world, would be common and unimpactful. Right then, I told myself that I'd never be the one to deny myself the ability to dare to dream. It's hard enough having other people and factors discourage you from doing things, but don't allow yourself to become another negative influence. Surround yourself with positive people and positive things. Instead of saying "I can't", ask yourself "why can't I?" The answer is that you can and it's as simple as that. Next time, you think that something is too big for you, tackle it anyway. You're more successful in the failure of your trying, than in the coward and safety of your complacency. You will become exactly what you believe you can be, so DREAM BIG!
Certified Life Coach. Editor for Fearless Magazine. Life Coach Contributor for Hope for Women Magazine. Contributor for www.thefreshxpress.com. Lover of God. Driven. Intelligent. Fashionista. Motivated. Disciplined. Beautiful. Visionary. Author. Public Speaker. Entrepreneur. Successful....these are some of the things that describe me. I am all about moving forward and progressing toward achieving all that my heart desires. I believe in embracing all of my talents and not locking in to one aspect of my interests. Feel free to send me a message on specifics of what I do and projects that I am available for. Be blessed.
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