We’ve all had those relationships that ended physically, but not emotionally. What we thought was completely over, we find ourselves continuing to think about and realizing its everlasting presence. In some cases, we find that while we may have been “over it” when it ended, when that person or thoughts of them resurface, our feelings do as well. Does that mean that our feelings truly left or the relationship was premature in ending?
Lately, I’ve had many conversations with friends, family, and associates on this very topic. Some people are completely against revisiting a relationship stating that the reasons they ended may very well still be apparent and will ultimately be the demise of the future re-established relationship. Some others think that depending on the reasons the relationship ended, it may be a courtship that can be re-visited and be successful.
I used to work with a young woman who had just broken up with her fiancée. I was immediately intrigued the moment she threw it out there, but realized that it wasn’t my place to ask...so I didn’t. About a month later, the topic of relationships, specifically that one, came up again. She proceeded to tell me about her ex-fiancée and their relationship. They dated for years, their families got along very well, he treated her like a princess, and they were in love. He popped the question and she said yes. Perfect right?...wrong. The closer they got to the wedding, the more uneasy and anxious she became. Her love for him hadn’t gone away, but there was something that she just couldn’t place her finger on. Though she wasn’t exactly sure what it was, she was sure that it wasn’t supposed to feel that way, so she mustered up the courage to do what most people, women especially, would never have the gaul to do...she called off the engagement. Everyone was up in arms and she along with her fiancée, were understandably devastated. Despite how hard it was, she didn’t want to enter the sacred institution of marriage without a pure and genuine heart. Though difficult, she moved on and dated other people and allowed her ex-fiancée to do the same. She just had to make sure that the man she initially was going to pledge her life and love to, was the “right one” for her. I admired her for her strength and prayed that she would eventually find her way...and she did...right back into the arms of her ex-fiancée. Their time apart solidified their original path...which was to journey through the rest of their lives together. As I type this, I envision their engagement photos that I just viewed before writing this. They’ll be married in a few months. <3
Everyone knows the story of Carrie and Mr. Big. Just incase you’ve been living under a rock, I’ll catch you up with the story of these fictitious, but realistic Sex and City characters. Carrie and Mr. Big had an exhausting relationship that lasted years and years. Although it was far from perfect, they always kept finding their way back to each other. There was even a point when Mr. Big got married. Of course, as with anyone in real life, Carrie was devastated, but she moved on. She had wonderful relationships and even moved to Paris to be with the man she loved and thought she could spend her life with. By that time, Mr. Big had already divorced his wife and come to the realization that his one true love was Carrie. Through all that drama (and believe me there’s much more), they find their way back to each other and end up happily married.
You may be reading this thinking “I could never or would never go back to _____” and that’s fine. Every previous relationship isn’t meant to be revisited. In fact, the majority of them are not. If the issues that caused you break up are still current or if the relationship ended in such a manner that there’s no way to revive it, by all means, DON’T go back. However, everything in life has its perfect time to bloom and timing, along with who you were and who they were at the time may have been a major factor in why you didn’t work out. I wouldn’t necessarily write off the person and history (depending on what it was) just because it didn’t work out before. You truly never know what God has for you and it may be given to you in a manner you weren’t expecting, so you must be open. Who you were then, isn’t who you are now (hopefully) and who your ex was then, may not be who they are now (prayerfully). Always remember to keep your mind and heart open. Your love may come in that same recognizable package with even more inside to offer. Live. Laugh. LOVE.
Enjoy "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele....
Until next time....keep the forward movement....
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