Consumed or Obsessed?

Consume: to enjoy avidly; to engage fully. Obsess: to haunt or excessively preoccupy the mind.  The past week or so has magnified what being overly consumed with something does. I have watched friends and family as well as myself, be consumed by certain things and it does more damage than good. We are sometimes taught that to be consumed means to really care, but when does the art of productive consummation turn into dangerous obsession?

My business. Right now, I live in the space of doing whatever it takes to build my brand. As a life coach, motivational speaker, editor and contributing writer for several magazines, along with a slew of other projects, I AM MY BRAND. It will only go as far or be as successful as I am, so I work...HARD. There's never a moment that goes by that I'm not doing something or thinking of the next best thing. I live in the place of intensity because to achieve the goals that I have set for myself, it will take a lot. The only moment I'm not working on something is when I'm asleep, and every so often, my dream will find me in my dreams. In my mind, although I advise other people to know when to take a break, everything is fine. I feel that this is most certainly what I need to be doing. Well...sometimes, it isn't so good. Within the last few weeks, I felt extremely tired all the time. It didn't feel like I could catch up and actually feel rested. My friends and family constantly told me I needed a break, but I replied that for all that I had to do, I couldn't conceptualize what a break was at this point. No matter how I felt, I continued to plug along. Well, the body knows when it's too tired and it will let you know in a way that isn't so fun. I had a day where I wasn't able to focus at all. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn't really get into my work. I lost my voice. Normally when I get really tired, it will break, but this time I could barely speak. As I felt this enormous fatigued-filled weight, I actually chuckled to myself. I heard the voices of my family and friends that told me to simply relax. Now I had no choice. I'm a firm believer in plugging along, but sometimes when you force creativity, it ends up being a big mess, so I finally listened. A simple evening off brought me back to life. The next morning after having not worked till the wee hours, I felt rejuvenated, relaxed, and I had my voice back. That said a lot to me. My consumed spirit is great for success, but even successful people know when to take a break and if you don't, your body will inadvertently do so. My consummation turned into a dangerous obsession in the fact that I couldn't recognize when it was time to pull back, for the benefit of myself and the quality of my work.

Love is one of the greatest examples of being consumed. The butterfly feelings are so inviting and comforting and it's so easy to rest in that place. The harder you love, the more consumed your thoughts become and often, you equate the extreme consummation to loving better.
Coincidentally, a close friend and I found ourselves in the same place recently. With all that we had going on, we still couldn't get that one "love" out of our minds. Our conversations went back and forth between the projects we were working on, to these men in particular. Although when you love someone, your mind tends to rest on them quite often, I felt that in doing that to the extreme, it would unequivocally affect the other important aspects of life. That thought was damning. My friend remained quiet on the other end as she listened to my thoughts and revelation. She had her own as well. She said "sometimes, the person that you allow yourself to be consumed by, remains at a distance in your life at a particular time for a reason. In your desire to have them, you may miss out on who you are to become. Sometime, you have become who you are destined to be before the next step." This stemmed from a quote from the movie The Adjustment Bureau (totally great film you should see by the way). When she said that, I remained quiet. I really didn't know how to respond. Could it be that the person you desire remains at a distance in order for the master plan to be completed in the matter and time frame it should be? Maybe. What we do know if that to be overly consumed with something or someone is to possibly lose out on the present and the present is a "gift."

No matter what, even if it's the most important goal in your world or the love of your life, to be consumed to the point where you neglect other important aspects of your life will not prove to be positive. Learn the difference between working hard and pushing yourself to an unhealthy point. Learn the difference between loving hard and loving to the point of neglecting yourself and other important things. Nothing is ever worth your health or happiness. If you learn to balance, everything will fall into place beautifully.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...