Breaking News: Earthquake in Chile

This morning at 3:34 am, local time, a massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake struck the country of Chile 200 miles southwest of Santiago.  With such a magnitude, it will rank as one of the top 10 most powerful earthquakes ever.  The earthquake was so strong that reports suggest that it was felt as far away as Japan and Argentina.  It also is said to have been 1,000 times stronger than the earthquake that occurred last month in Haiti.  The death toll thus far is being reported as 122 and rising.  Unfortunately, with this earthquake  came a tsunami warning.  It's not only been issued for Chile, but for Peru, Ecuador, Colombia, Panama, Costa Rica, Antarctica, and Hawaii.  Facts are still developing being that the eartthquake just occurred.  Please keep these people in your prayers.

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Before it's too late...

A couple of days ago, I was sitting with my family just talking and laughing.  As we joked around, I looked over at my parents and a quick thought flashed in my mind: what if something happened to them tomorrow and they were no longer here?  Instantaneously, my heart sank.  At that moment, I told myself that I needed to enjoy these moments and cherish them.  I always think this, but I need to remember this when I'm not in a good mood, or we're in an argument, or things are not that great.  It's easy to cherish people when you're happy, but once something goes wrong or there's a disagreement, you find yourself not talking to them and allowing what was a minute situation to completely spiral.


With this in mind, I began thinking of the past few months.  The end of the year was tough because I knew five people who passed away in December alone!  Not to mention, there was a death in my family in May.  On top of that, the earthquake in Haiti shook my family to the core.  Not only was it a reality check for us, but it was for the whole world.  It really displayed the fact that life is so precious and could be taken at any moment, so you should live it to the fullest and appreciate your family, friends, spouses, etc.


To further hone in on this lesson that I'd been receiving the past few days, I got a call from someone today with bad news about a family member of hers.  The person was in the hospital and it was so sudden.  Immediately my heart sunk because I know the pain that she and her family are going through.  I prayed for them and currently am waiting on the good news I know she's going to call me with.


With all of this in mind, I started wondering why people wait until something terrible happens before they put things into perspective.  It's so cliche' and almost nauseating to me that to some people, a person doesn't matter as much, until they're gone.  It almost makes your pain when they are gone, hypocritcal.  If you don't appreciate them while they're in your lives, when they're gone, nothing you feel will matter.  It's too late.


As you read this, I urge to really think about how you would feel if someone you love or care about was no longer here before you had a chance to truly express what they mean to you.  If you really think of this, you'll appreciate them more and communicate more whether that be calling, texting, emailing, messaging, skyping, social networks, etc.  There are so many ways to keep in touch now a days that it's scary, lol, but that means NO EXCUSES.  There's always a way to make your presence, love, appreciation, gratitude, and adoration felt.  Don't wait with the thoughts of: there's always tomorrow, because there isn't always tomorrow.  Don't think:  I'll tell them later, because there may not be a later.  For those of you who show love and appreciation through words, SAY THEM!  For those who show love and appreciation through action, SHOW IT!  Don't wait!  


The message is loud and clear:  Treasure the people you love/care about, and treasure the moments, so you can treasure the memories....


The song below is one of my favorite Brandy songs.  It's called "Right Here."  It basically says that no matter what, I'll be right here with you.  Enjoy.....





Until next time...keep the forward movement....

If you ask....be ready to receive....

I was talking to someone last night and we were talking about a new found possible love of hers.  She was talking about how many losers that she had dealt with in the past and I chimed in with my list of losers as well, lol.  For years we had been talking about what we wanted the person we ended up with to be like.  Fast forward to right now and she's met a guy who encompasses the very things she's been asking for and you know what?....she's scared.  She's almost running from it.  Although you'd never think it, when you're given exactly what you've been asking for, sometimes it's a bigger pill than you thought you were going to have to swallow.  As far as a person is concerned, you start making up reasons as to why this may not be who you've been waiting for, even though, life is clearly showing you that it just may be.  You spend your time looking for what's wrong and waiting for the other shoe to drop, that you may risk missing out on the moments that will make up your future.  


Another conversation I had, dealt with a friend who wanted a certain job, house, and place of residence.  Before he knew it, he ended up with exactly what he wanted.  It was awesome to see because usually people highlight the negative, but here he was sharing his good news with me.  He told me he was exactly where he wanted to be and even though he was happy, it scared him at first, took him a while to adjust, and still at times, amazes him.  I asked him why he felt that way and he explained to me that for so long he wanted these things, that at one point he didn't think he would have them.  So now that he does, it's like he has to reacclimate himself to the things he wanted, has, and at one point, thought he'd never get.  


When I look at myself, I think of certain things that I've wanted that I've gotten and my reaction has been similar to the people I've mentioned.  I get it and I sometimes, depending on the situation, question whether I really wanted it or if I'm really ready for it.  Why do people do this?  I pondered this for a while and came up with this: Somewhere in wanting, praying, longing, believing,  and hoping for something, doubt may find a way to pierce through your spirit and whether you realize it or not, it's making a bigger impact than you know.  Because you don't know this, it ends up causing more damage than it should.  You long for things or a situation to come to pass for so long that when they start taking place, you become afraid of them, question them, or even run away from them.  My advice to you: DON'T RUN!  Embrace it.  You've been waiting so long.  Do not ask for something and then push it away when you finally get it.  If you do, you can guarantee that the next time you want something or want a situation to play out in your favor, it will not.  It won't, because you pushed it away and now your entire being and energy is actually repelling the very things that you desire.  


A great film that goes into the details of asking, believing, and receiving is The Secret.  Below is a link to snippets from the Oprah show that featured the film:






Music is also universal in its message and is definitely a great way to keep the motivation, so I'll leave you with an oldie, but goodie.



Don't stop believing....AND  RECEIVING.  I won't.  If you ask, be ready to receive.....


Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Valentine Wrap-Up

Another Valentine's Day has come and gone.  This one imparticular wasn't that spectacular for me and I let it affect me.  I was upset during the day, but even more upset the day after.  I asked myself in my mind why I, and tons of other people, let it affect them as well.  Literally, you're fine the day before and the day after, but there's something about that day that gets you every time.


Valentine's Day is consumed with all things love and relationship-like and despite what people nowadays try to make it, one thing it is not is a holiday for singles.  It's so funny how single people go out of their way to express their utter joy for not being tied down or not having to be bothered with anyone, but it's a farce.  I personally don't think most people are meant to be alone.  As great as you are by yourself, a special person can come into your life and really make you better.  They can introduce you to different things and force you to really delve into yourself.  You feel free with them and open up in a way that you keep from others.  I look forward to that union with someone.


I was talking to a friend recently and she and I were discussing the "single girl life."  We both confessed to each other that we were kinda tired of living that life, but her next story reminded me of the saying that "you always want what you can't have."  She told me about her friend who was around our age and who recently got married.  She said that her friend told her that she was so happy in her marriage and was so in love with her husband.  She had no doubt in her mind that he was "the one", but she couldn't help but thinking sometimes that she envied our single girl status.  Whoa!  Here we are stewing about how we wish we weren't single and someone who had what we wanted, sometimes felt the opposite.  Now don't get me wrong, it's not that she doesn't want to be married, but she said that she sometimes wishes "forever didn't start so soon."  That really presented another persepective to me.  Because if marriage is forever and those responsibilities are 'til death do you part', (some of us still believe anyway), maybe we should enjoy this time.

It's so much easier said than done.  The longing for companionship never really goes away for most people and though women are notorious for it, I believe men feel the same way.  Even if you're not in a committed relationship, there's usually someone you're spending your time with.  This just illustrates how human beings need the connection to another person especially a romantic connection and this. will. never. change. 

I decided to wait a few days after Valentine's Day to write my wrap-up so that I can actually feel and stand by the things I'm writing, because a few days ago, I DID NOT feel this way at all, lol.  I'm always good at taking time to think and regroup in every situation or funk and move forward which is what I'm doing.  I can't let one day ruin my positivity or make me question everything I know and believe. 

Despite it all and still believing in love and "the one", I leave you with this video.  Enjoy....




Until Next time....keep the forward movement....

Love your body

We as women are always complaining about our bodies.  Nothing is ever good enough.  Something is always too big or too small.  It's too long or too short or too dark or too pale.  I've noticed how no woman I've ever spoken to has ever been completely satisfied with their figure.  Just a few days ago, I was speaking to a co-worker of mine and asked her if she had lost weight because she appeared to have had.  Her response was "no way!  I wish I lost weight!"  Now this co-worker is tall and has a great figure, so you would never think that she was unhappy with the way she looked.  It took me aback.  You never know how people really see themselves.  Perception is really in the eye of the beholder.  As I sat in my office, I couldn't believe this woman felt like this about herself, until I started thinking about myself.


For as long as I could remember, I have never been happy with my body.  There 's always been something that's been too big or not long enough or almost right.  I look and think back and have always felt some sort of unhappiness, but you would never know it.  From the outside looking in, I exude the utmost confidence.  What I dislike, I've been told that many people pay for on a daily basis.  It's taken a long time, but I'm learning to appreciate all the parts of me.


I'm appreciating all of me and not waiting until I see someone who's sick or has some physical ailment to appreciate my own.  It's okay to want to improve the way you look, but don't neglect to see and be happy for the good.  Everyone is beautiful in their own way.  Stop comparing yourself to other people or other women.  Newsflash: someone will always be prettier than you or more attractive, so you have to be confident in your own beauty and own it.  Don't allow anyone to define what beauty is and what you should look like.  I know it's hard, but don't even allow the man you love or any man for that matter, to define how you feel about you.  Whoever cares about you will love you for you.


Ladies, it's February, which is the month that is consumed with the many thoughts of love.  Whether you have someone or not, don't forget to love yourself and that means the good and the bad.  If you don't, no one else will.  I leave you with a great video from Indie Arie expressing the love and acceptance for herself.  This proved to be an anthem to women as soon as it was released.  I leave you loving all of me.....

Until next time...keep the forward movement....

Give up the standards?...I think not....

I had a really interesting conversation with a male friend of mine a few nights ago.  I must say, it was pretty disheartening and by the end of it, I was angered.  After giving it much thought, I decided not to allow the beliefs of anyone to infiltrate my mind and question my own.  It began with us updating each other on the past few months of our lives.  Some way or another we came to the topic of men, women, and sex.  To make a long story short, one question sparked the debate.  I asked him if he respected women who he became intimate with very quickly.  He responded by saying that when he was younger he used to think negatively of them, but as he got older he didn't feel that all of them were 'easy' and that even if he did, they could very well say the same thing about him.  I reminded him that there is a negative stigma that is only associated with women in the terms of having a lot of sexual partners or having sex with someone quickly.  Right or wrong, men are not judged in the same light.  He understood and agreed, but disclosed to me that if a woman doesn't sleep with him within 3 times of them spending time together, he doesn't really want to be bothered with her.


I started laughing really hard because I knew it was a joke and he is a hilarious person, but for the first time, he wasn't joking, and when I realized that, I wasn't laughing.  I asked him again to be sure and he said the same thing.  I even gave him an example with a short time line and sure enough by the time the third date came around, in his mind, sex needed to be there.  His explaination was that if the physical chemistry that he desired wasn't there, he wanted nothing to do with her and he needed to find out very early.  Wow!  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  We'd been friends for so long and I'd never dealt with him in anything other than a platonic relationship, so I had no idea he actually thought in such an offensive way.  I quickly told him that he should be glad he never saw me that way because that would have never worked with me.


I began to tell him how asinine and offensive his thinking was.  I told him that I understood that most men don't and won't wait forever, but a woman who doesn't become intimate with you by the third date is definitely not a bad thing.  I for one, have a lot of standards not only for someone, but especially for myself and I take being intimate with someone very seriously.  It's not something I take lightly or do easily.  He responded by saying that most men will not wait or want to deal with that and a lot of woman will be single because they choose to be selective.  I even reaffirmed that a lot of women don't make men wait as part of a game, but to make sure that they're ready and that they want to share themselves with this particular person.  He wasn't buying it though.  He stuck with what I believed to be his ignorant and  sexist thought.  He told me I was being sensitive and that I needed to get over it, and even started pointing out reasons why I felt the way I did as if something was wrong with me!  I. was. seething!  I told him that nothing has to be wrong with me or any other woman who sets standards for herself or others and nothing is wrong with the men who can wait and appreciate a woman like that.  Before, I really lost it, I ended the conversation.


As I sat there, aghast, replaying the conversation in my mind, I decided to let my anger go.  It was so unimportant.  The thoughts and opinions of the foolish will not cause me to question or change mine.  I know plenty of men who appreciate the woman that I am and the respect that I have and that type of man, is the only one that matters.  The man I marry will truly be the only that matters and the one that will appreciate the manner in which I carry myself.  Tonight as I write this, I'm empowered by my own strength and am happy with the decisions that I make and the standards that I have set for myself.  I won't be embarrassed and won't question my actions because I've allowed someone to dictate them to appear a certain way.  I can be and am an example for myself, other women my age and older, younger girls, my future children and future generations and that's awesome!


For the men out there, if you agree with my friend, you will only find those type of women and good luck with that, because I'm sure that won't be great in the end.  To the the men out there who can respect and appreciate a woman with standards....thank you for reminding us that you're not all the same.  Most importantly, to my ladies, always stay strong in your convictions and don't allow what others think or believe to direct what you think, what you believe, or who you are.  


I'll leave with a beautiful song by Alicia Keys called "A Woman's Worth."  The title explains it all.  Ladies, don't forget yours....

Until next time....Keep the forward movement....

Reap what you sow....don't pretend

I was sitting in church one Sunday and the time for offerring came up.  You know the time when you give your 10%.   Of course, along with it usually comes a verse that reminds you how important it is to give.  It's always said to give with a pure heart.  This is not only in church, but if you give to another cause or even give of yourself in any other capacity.  Now, I'll be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to what was being said.  I figured I already knew everything because I heard it over and over, but this time the pastor said something that made me pay attention as well as stop and think about it.  


He began by giving a correlation between farmers and their crops.  He explained how they physically reap what they physically sow.  Obvious, I know, but here's what stuck out to me.  He said farmers don't go out to their fields and pretend sow!  In order to see a true result, they must actually plant their seeds!  Something so simple, but so true...and it got me thinking.


How many people do you know who always talk about all that they're doing?  How many of those same people never really have any results to share with you?  I'm going to go out on a limb and say a good majority of them.  Often times, people pretend to do all of the things they say they're doing, but never really follow through.  It takes so much more than just saying what you're going to do.  You actually have to do it!  Get a plan together and takes some steps.  A mile is comprised of a lot of small steps.  It's better to be consistent and moving toward your goal at a slower pace, then to be consistent in taking no action at all.  


So you ever wonder why it is that you're stuck in your rut or can't seem to accomplish something?  Ask yourself "am I really playing or am I on the sideline talking about the game?"  The first step is to be honest with yourself and go from there.


I am telling you this because I come from a place where I felt the same way.  So many dreams and desires and constantly TALKING, but not ACTING on them.  I couldn't figure out why I was stuck in a rut, but now I know why.  It's because I never took action to get out of it.  Now I'm clearly not where I'm going to be (wildly successful, lol), but I'm not where I was.  You know what that's called ladies and gentlemen?....PROGRESS!


Today I want to give you a little push into beginning to sow the seeds that you want to see sprout within your life.  If you never plant them, how will they ever grow?  If you don't put work in, how will you succeed?  Don't be a pretend farmer.  Plant your seeds, water them, and before you know it, you'll be standing in your beautiful field of success.


Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Almost Doesn't Count...

Since it's the month of February, I figured what better time to launch my entries on love, relationships, and men and women as I know it!  I have plenty of things that come to mind and you know ladies love to chat amongst themselves about our experiences, so I'll share one with you.  A friend and I were having a conversation about relationships.  The topic was that we knew that sometimes men felt that women can't be pleased.  That no matter what they do sometimes, they feel as though they can't make us happy.  Now I can only speak for myself, but I know that at a time or two, I've been guilty of making someone feel this way and I will say it was more my own issues than them, but sometimes fellas, it's you.  Let me tell you why and how it is for women sometimes.


A lot of times, women are ready for more quicker than men are.  Hell, sometimes, we're ready and you're not at all.  And no matter what you tell us, it really only matters what's in our heads, lol.  I'm not saying it's right, but it is definitely true. Fellas let me let you into the mind of a woman real quick.  Now don't completely take this, run with it, and apply it to everything, because you know we're complicated, lol.


A woman who cares about you and that you're involved with in whatever capacity, is going to want what she wants from day one and you probably already know this.  The problem is you don't, but we hang in there anyway thinking that we can show how fabulous we are and persuade you otherwise.  For a while, you may truly stand your ground, but sometimes, somewhere along the line, you begin to fall for us.  You think everything is going great, but we start to get frustrated and irritated by everything and you don't understand why.  It feels like we're always upset and you can't do anything right...right?  Let me give you two examples of how this plays in our mind.


When you start to accept your feelings for us, it's new to you, and therefore you're in no rush.  The thing is, our feelings and frustrations are old to us because we've cared about you for so long or longer than you anyway.  It's as if we're running around a track.  Little do you know we've been running since 1 o'clock.  We keep asking you come along, but you never want to.  We keep running and running hoping that you show up and you do, but not until eight o'clock.  You get that first lap in and are feeling energized.  We are sweating, are tired and thirsty and you can't understand why we get upset and leave the track.  In your mind you showed up, but in ours you almost didn't and when you did, we didn't have the same energy as we did before.


As my friend and I continued to share our experiences, I gave her another example.  Women will deal with a lot when they care about a man.  Whether it's right or wrong, we will.  But eventually a woman gets to a point where the only thing that's good enough is exactly. what. she. wants. and nothing less.  For example, if you were to ask me my ultimate car, I would tell you it's a Bentley.  I just don't think it gets any better, for me anyways.  That is what I ultimately want.  Another one might be nice and I may really like it and enjoy it, but it's not what I truly want.  There is a frame of time that will allow me to enjoy other cars while I'm waiting for my dream car, but then there'll come a moment when nothing is going to be good enough...now follow me because this is just an example; read between the lines.  You could give the best of what you think is the best and I still wouldn't like because it's not what I've been waiting for.


Women operate in the same way.  We'll wait and wait and wait, but then one day something clicks and our emotions don't dictate our actions anymore.  Mind you up until this point our emotions did dictate our actions and didn't care a thing about what you said.  We just went on how we felt and hoped you'd feel the same.  But there comes a point, when no matter what, it's all or nothing...and almost doesn't count.  What you may think is a major step or a major thing, means nothing because we passed that so long ago.  I know, I know, you're thinking "well I didn't know or tell you to go that far", but let me tell you something: our hearts don't hear that.  Our emotions don't care about what you said and emotions definitely don't respect your logic...or any logic for that matter.  


I wish that this entry would've made some things change or click, but it won't, lol.  The battle of the sexes will continue forever, but it's a great thing to get inside the mind of each other to learn and understand more about each other.  It'll definitely make you a better person for you and your future mate.


I'll leave you with one of my favorite Beyonce songs.  It's perfect, because it pretty much describes what we as women, would do if we were men because this is how we sometimes perceive you all.  Right or wrong fellas, the ladies agree, lol.  







Until next time....keep the forward movement...