Don't Be Afraid to Say "No"...

When you're trying for the things that you want, you tend to develop the mindset of getting involved in everything that comes your way.  You think, "I must take all opportunities because I never know which one may catapult me to my successful place."  You move through opportunity after opportunity still committed and determined, unfazed by the let-downs.  If what you really want comes by any means necessary, is every mean necessary?

Not one to just assume that I know, I try to remain open to almost everything.  I listen to every pitch, research every idea, and meet every person.  The truth is, you really never know how one great chance may turn out,  but at times, you may know more than you think you do.  A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from someone who wanted me to work with their company.  Instantly, my ears perked up and I bombarded them with questions.  Although, I told myself I'd take it slow, in my mind, I'd already seen the fruits of my labor and tasted success with them.  I felt that although it wouldn't be my forever, it would be a great addition to my growing list of skills and experience.  It would allow me to become familiar within a field that I had only dabbled in.  It would allow me to back up my natural talents with concrete experience...or so I thought.  I scheduled a time to speak with them the next morning along with the executives.  The next morning, I woke up already in the frame of mind of moving beyond this opportunity to the many that lie ahead of me.  With that, I made the phone call and began the lengthy process.  Something happened however.  The feeling of euphoria that I had previously experienced from the unknown, dissipated and I was left with a feeling that was an icy cold blow of reality.  This was not what I thought it would be...but...it was still a good opportunity.  What was I to do?  I pondered, examined, and reflected.  No matter how good I made it sound, there was something in the pit of my stomach that kept telling me to hold off.  As much as I tried to fight it, I eventually gave in and enveloped my God-given intuition.  I told them that I whole heartedly appreciated the opportunity, but I'd prefer to be respectful of them and both of our times and not waste it....and with that I moved on.  I got off of the phone, cross-examining myself as if I was on the supreme court's stand, but I ended up winning my case as I knew I made the right choice, by choosing to pass up that specific chance.

Some may be reading this shaking their heads, but as you navigate through life to find your dreams, at some point, you will learn that every "opportunity" isn't the opportunity for you.  There is a difference between remaining open versus spreading yourself thin and wasting time and energy on something that was never meant to push you down your path.  It's your job to know your needs, desires, and your worth.  When all of these things are aligned, you will learn to properly choose the things to devote your time to.  Don't be afraid to say "no" to something or someone.  Your hard and consistent work will never fail you.  At some point, at the right time, your opportunity will reward you by a knock on your door.  Be encouraged and keep pushing.  

Until next time...keep moving forward...

Give and Take....

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations in relationships.  When one hears "expectation", you automatically assume it's in reference to a romantic relationship, but there are expectations in friendships, business relationships, and familial relationships as well.  As I sat back and thought deeper about it, I started viewing it in a different way.

A friend of mine and I had a conversation about the expectations in a friendship.  I'll admit that I usually expect what I give out and when I don't get it, it bothers me.  For example: a big part of my friendship is my expression of always being there.  I make myself accessible at all times.  Regardless of if I'm doing something or not, if I'm asleep or not, if I'm not feeling well or not, I make myself available.  Unless there is absolutely no way I can be there, I'm there.  I consider myself a pretty consistant person, so subconsciously (and consciously as well), I expect the same.  He on the other hand, sees things differently.  He is not as consistant as I am and sees no problem with it.  He views it as 2 people may not or will not necessarily have the same contribution to the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is.  He asked me why I couldn't just be happy in the fact that my consistancy would be one of the things I brought to the friendship and what he brought (for example: patience and understanding) would be his contribution.  What we contributed that the other lacked, we'd use as learning tools and be grateful for. 

Initially, I wasn't ecstatic with his explaination, which in my mind was a well thought, convenient excuse, but the more and more I thought about it, as much as I may dislike it, it made a lot of sense.  How many times have you been unhappy with the way things are going?  Whether it be within a friendship or a relationship, men and women have silent expectations.  Even if you think you don't, you subconsciously expect something that you may not get.  This is the pivotal time where you can either think that something is wrong with them and be frustrated or you can start to figure out what it is that you want and recognize what the other person provides in the friendship and/or relationship.  Instead of focusing on what they're not doing or bringing, acknowledge the things they are bringing and doing and rest in the comfort of those things.  They may never do the specific thing(s) you'd like them to because that's simply not them and if they tried it would be ingenuine.  You may never do/give a specific thing that they want either, but if you both take the take to accept each other and what is brought by each, you'll be much more satisfied in your accepting place.

Today, start to evaluate your relationships and see if you're taking it for granted because of your focus.  Shift your perspective and appreciate that person for who they are and what they bring.  Before you know it, you may not even notice what you thought you needed before! 

Live, Laugh, LOVE.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Hit the Ground Running....

So we're midway through the first month of the new year and unfortunately for some, their resolutions have already resolved to be begin again in 2012.  Though sad, it's actually pretty comical because the people who usually don't make it past the first few weeks, are more than likely, "repeat resolutions offenders."  These are the people who every single year, decide that this is the year to (fill in the blank), but deep down, they know that they're not really going to put in the effort that it takes to truly accomplish their goal.  It may not always be that they don't genuinely want to put in the effort, it's just that, as human beings, we tend to get caught in the habits that we've created for ourselves, so even if we truly desire something, it's almost more comfortable to give in to what we've been doing, even if it isn't condusive to the plans we've set for ourselves. 

Some of us, on the other hand, are still in our stride.  That initial adrenaline rush (the possibility of the great things in the new year) is what propels you.  At the beginning of the year, the wind blows with you, in the direction that you're running.  At some point, and usually not too long after, it begins to blow in the opposite direction.  Now you're running against it (obstacles).  What do the successful do when they're getting the air sucked out of them and hurdles are trying to blow them away?  Adapt and learn to breathe differently.

Within the last few months, I've been juggling a lot.  I was near the end of one of the projects that I was working feverishly on and the closer I got to that coveted light at the end of the tunnel, the more I could feel the euporia that I knew came with finishing such a big project...until, something changed that pushed me all the way back.  When I realized that I had to start over, I literally sat completely still on the floor.  Unable to move, all I could do was think to myself that no matter how upset I got, no matter how far it pushed everything else back that was on my long list of projects, it still needed to be done.  With that thought in mind, I took a few moments to breathe, and got back to work.  I balanced and took care of the projects that needed to be done ASAP, and got back to work on it.  A few days later, I completed my project, breathed a sigh of relief, and inhaled the sweet smell of accomplishment.  I pushed myself and kept running. 

As you begin to face the opposing blows of life that try to deter you off of your path,  take a breathe, and push the winds back.  Pick up your pace and run even harder.  When you finally break through, you'll be even closer to your goal than ever before.  So remember, when you get knocked down, instead of giving up, stand back up, and hit the ground running!

Unitl next time....keep the forward movement....