The REAL Deal...

In a world where good looks and sex appeal thrive over brains and morals, I wondered how important it is to have the perfect figure. The media bombards us with visions of what the female body should like: big breasts, a small waist, and an ample behind or a walking supermodel in a size 0. Unfortunately, everyone is not built like that. Most people actually aren't. Because of what we're shown, many women are choosing to alter their body in order to be accepted or fit the status quo.

A recent survey shows that of the people surveyed, 65% of them would seriously ponder getting plastic surgery, if money wasn't a factor. The percentage has greatly increased in the past few years and is continuing to increase with the accessibility of plastic surgery. Initially, plastic surgery was for the rich and famous. No payment plans were taken and no deals were made. Nowadays, you can finance your breasts along with getting a new plan for your next procedure. More and more, a lot of people who can't afford a better doctor are shopping around for "doctors" that will give them a discount...but at what price?
The number of horror stories of the surgeries that have gone wrong is on the rise as the need for acceptance continues to grow. With each successful story comes its negative counterpart illustrating just how ugly the fascination of beauty can be. Some women are willing to risk their lives instead of doing their research and taking the proper precautions.


My opinion is this: I will always advocate learning to love what God has given you. I personally feel that it's always the best option. However: whether you agree with plastic surgery or not, do it because YOU want to make yourself happy...and no one else. Some may not want to admit it but men and their obsession with the female physique drive certain women to alter their appearance. I took the time to survey men and found that the majority of them preferred their women "as-is" and "au natural." Regardless of the reasons, always make sure that the person on the procedure table will wake up with no regrets. No matter what....live, laugh, and LOVE YOU.

Don't Be Afraid to Say "No"...

When you're trying for the things that you want, you tend to develop the mindset of getting involved in everything that comes your way.  You think, "I must take all opportunities because I never know which one may catapult me to my successful place."  You move through opportunity after opportunity still committed and determined, unfazed by the let-downs.  If what you really want comes by any means necessary, is every mean necessary?

Not one to just assume that I know, I try to remain open to almost everything.  I listen to every pitch, research every idea, and meet every person.  The truth is, you really never know how one great chance may turn out,  but at times, you may know more than you think you do.  A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from someone who wanted me to work with their company.  Instantly, my ears perked up and I bombarded them with questions.  Although, I told myself I'd take it slow, in my mind, I'd already seen the fruits of my labor and tasted success with them.  I felt that although it wouldn't be my forever, it would be a great addition to my growing list of skills and experience.  It would allow me to become familiar within a field that I had only dabbled in.  It would allow me to back up my natural talents with concrete experience...or so I thought.  I scheduled a time to speak with them the next morning along with the executives.  The next morning, I woke up already in the frame of mind of moving beyond this opportunity to the many that lie ahead of me.  With that, I made the phone call and began the lengthy process.  Something happened however.  The feeling of euphoria that I had previously experienced from the unknown, dissipated and I was left with a feeling that was an icy cold blow of reality.  This was not what I thought it would be...but...it was still a good opportunity.  What was I to do?  I pondered, examined, and reflected.  No matter how good I made it sound, there was something in the pit of my stomach that kept telling me to hold off.  As much as I tried to fight it, I eventually gave in and enveloped my God-given intuition.  I told them that I whole heartedly appreciated the opportunity, but I'd prefer to be respectful of them and both of our times and not waste it....and with that I moved on.  I got off of the phone, cross-examining myself as if I was on the supreme court's stand, but I ended up winning my case as I knew I made the right choice, by choosing to pass up that specific chance.

Some may be reading this shaking their heads, but as you navigate through life to find your dreams, at some point, you will learn that every "opportunity" isn't the opportunity for you.  There is a difference between remaining open versus spreading yourself thin and wasting time and energy on something that was never meant to push you down your path.  It's your job to know your needs, desires, and your worth.  When all of these things are aligned, you will learn to properly choose the things to devote your time to.  Don't be afraid to say "no" to something or someone.  Your hard and consistent work will never fail you.  At some point, at the right time, your opportunity will reward you by a knock on your door.  Be encouraged and keep pushing.  

Until next time...keep moving forward...

Give and Take....

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations in relationships.  When one hears "expectation", you automatically assume it's in reference to a romantic relationship, but there are expectations in friendships, business relationships, and familial relationships as well.  As I sat back and thought deeper about it, I started viewing it in a different way.

A friend of mine and I had a conversation about the expectations in a friendship.  I'll admit that I usually expect what I give out and when I don't get it, it bothers me.  For example: a big part of my friendship is my expression of always being there.  I make myself accessible at all times.  Regardless of if I'm doing something or not, if I'm asleep or not, if I'm not feeling well or not, I make myself available.  Unless there is absolutely no way I can be there, I'm there.  I consider myself a pretty consistant person, so subconsciously (and consciously as well), I expect the same.  He on the other hand, sees things differently.  He is not as consistant as I am and sees no problem with it.  He views it as 2 people may not or will not necessarily have the same contribution to the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is.  He asked me why I couldn't just be happy in the fact that my consistancy would be one of the things I brought to the friendship and what he brought (for example: patience and understanding) would be his contribution.  What we contributed that the other lacked, we'd use as learning tools and be grateful for. 

Initially, I wasn't ecstatic with his explaination, which in my mind was a well thought, convenient excuse, but the more and more I thought about it, as much as I may dislike it, it made a lot of sense.  How many times have you been unhappy with the way things are going?  Whether it be within a friendship or a relationship, men and women have silent expectations.  Even if you think you don't, you subconsciously expect something that you may not get.  This is the pivotal time where you can either think that something is wrong with them and be frustrated or you can start to figure out what it is that you want and recognize what the other person provides in the friendship and/or relationship.  Instead of focusing on what they're not doing or bringing, acknowledge the things they are bringing and doing and rest in the comfort of those things.  They may never do the specific thing(s) you'd like them to because that's simply not them and if they tried it would be ingenuine.  You may never do/give a specific thing that they want either, but if you both take the take to accept each other and what is brought by each, you'll be much more satisfied in your accepting place.

Today, start to evaluate your relationships and see if you're taking it for granted because of your focus.  Shift your perspective and appreciate that person for who they are and what they bring.  Before you know it, you may not even notice what you thought you needed before! 

Live, Laugh, LOVE.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Hit the Ground Running....

So we're midway through the first month of the new year and unfortunately for some, their resolutions have already resolved to be begin again in 2012.  Though sad, it's actually pretty comical because the people who usually don't make it past the first few weeks, are more than likely, "repeat resolutions offenders."  These are the people who every single year, decide that this is the year to (fill in the blank), but deep down, they know that they're not really going to put in the effort that it takes to truly accomplish their goal.  It may not always be that they don't genuinely want to put in the effort, it's just that, as human beings, we tend to get caught in the habits that we've created for ourselves, so even if we truly desire something, it's almost more comfortable to give in to what we've been doing, even if it isn't condusive to the plans we've set for ourselves. 

Some of us, on the other hand, are still in our stride.  That initial adrenaline rush (the possibility of the great things in the new year) is what propels you.  At the beginning of the year, the wind blows with you, in the direction that you're running.  At some point, and usually not too long after, it begins to blow in the opposite direction.  Now you're running against it (obstacles).  What do the successful do when they're getting the air sucked out of them and hurdles are trying to blow them away?  Adapt and learn to breathe differently.

Within the last few months, I've been juggling a lot.  I was near the end of one of the projects that I was working feverishly on and the closer I got to that coveted light at the end of the tunnel, the more I could feel the euporia that I knew came with finishing such a big project...until, something changed that pushed me all the way back.  When I realized that I had to start over, I literally sat completely still on the floor.  Unable to move, all I could do was think to myself that no matter how upset I got, no matter how far it pushed everything else back that was on my long list of projects, it still needed to be done.  With that thought in mind, I took a few moments to breathe, and got back to work.  I balanced and took care of the projects that needed to be done ASAP, and got back to work on it.  A few days later, I completed my project, breathed a sigh of relief, and inhaled the sweet smell of accomplishment.  I pushed myself and kept running. 

As you begin to face the opposing blows of life that try to deter you off of your path,  take a breathe, and push the winds back.  Pick up your pace and run even harder.  When you finally break through, you'll be even closer to your goal than ever before.  So remember, when you get knocked down, instead of giving up, stand back up, and hit the ground running!

Unitl next time....keep the forward movement....

New Year, Same Me...but a little bit better... :)

When I think about this year, and so many occurrences that accompanied it, I find myself unable to verbalize anything. My mind is swarmed by the positive and negative and although I so desperately want to, my mouth won't allow all those emotions to come out...not all at once anyway. From the joyous occasion as a brand new life (my niece) in this world, to losing another family member, this year, has been a trying one....but I made it...and so did you. It's a MUST, that we remember that.

At the beginning of each year, we set out with a new determination that allegedly begins at the stroke of midnight. We've all done it, where we think "this is going to be the year." In one moment, everything will change. That huge opportunity that catapults you to a new stratosphere will instantly appear. That frog you've been kissing (ladies you know what I mean, lol) will automatically be your perfect prince. The heartaches and stressors will quickly dissolve and everything will be smooth sailing.


"Pop!" Did you hear that? That was your bubble bursting because that isn't reality. So often, these things that we expect to come out of thin air, and when they don't, there goes our New Year's resolution...and this usually happens on January 2nd. I often ask myself why it is that we do that. I used to do it myself, but the more developed I get, the more I realize that it's not about the time of the year or what you think should happen. It's about what you are DOING. It's about who you're BECOMING. It's about APPLYING the things that you have learned in order to propel yourself to where you want to be. It's about OPENING yourself up for the right person to love you. It's about CONTROLLING YOUR REACTION to the stressors of life instead of allowing them to control you. I have learned, in a short period of time I might add, that when you make a change, things change. I've also learned that depending on the New Year, without taking any personal responsibility will leave you exactly where you are. When you make moves, you determine the outcome of that "oh so important" stroke of midnight.




When I look back at this year, I realize something important. Things may have not been perfect, but I've made some definite moves in my life that I had never made before...and they continue to show up in my life in a great way. I'm an editor for an awesome publication called FEARLESS magazine (http://www.fearlessmag.com/) and I'm also a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH. These are only a couple of things that have transpired because I made the choices and legitimized them with my actions. I am where I am not because nothing bad happened this year but because I made a choice to jump over each hurdle that was in my way. Yes, we may get weary, but we must keep moving. God has given you and I so much more than some others and if you're struggling to find the reason why, use this moment of being able to read this, as one of your many blessings. Get up and get going! Live your life and take a hold of your destiny. Dream, believe, have faith, and keep moving. Don't allow any setbacks, at any time of the year, to detour you on your path of love, life, and success.
I'd simply like to close out by saying "thank you" to all of you who spend some time with me every week. Prior to this year, I had only written one post and that was back in 2007. At the beginning of this year, I committed to writing consistently and helping others at the same time. The text messages, facebook messages, and phone calls always solidify that my words are more significant than I could ever imagine. I pray for you all as we enter a new year filled with endless possibilities that depending on what you do with them, will signify where are you next New Year's Eve. I'm excited to continue to grow and enter a new year, being the same me...but a little bit better each time. :)


Happy New Year!

 

One Bad Apple...

One bad apple can ruin the bunch.  I'm sure you've heard this time and time again.  The saying explains how when one bad apple is with fresh ones, it will ruin the other apples as well.  The saying is absolutely true, but as I get older, I wonder to what exact degree.

As I look back on my childhood, I'm so thankful that I had parents who were stern enough to steer me away from things and people they knew would take me down a negative path.  Whether it be through fixing my incorrect vernacular or curving my newly learned, slightly absurd ideals, what angered me for being taken away, was ultimately for my good.  I look at myself now and see that if they would have allowed me to get comfortable in a bad place, I'd be in an even worse one.  You have to do that with children though.  Adults can follow those same rules, but children, especially, need that guidance and structure.  

I fasted forward to my adulthood and am now beginning to rethink the whole "bad apple" concept.  The adult version of this saying, that you'll most likely hear in the business world is "the top 5 people in your circle, determine how far you go."  Well, when you're not hanging out with mega business minds like Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki or well established moguls like Oprah or Jay-Z, what does that mean for you?  I kept thinking about that in terms of myself.   A lot of my friends are at the place that I'm in...grinding it out and burning many midnight oils.  Reaching for the place where we want to be, the things we want to achieve.  Already pondering the following moves and new goals that come with acquiring the success that we're still in route toward.  When I initially heard this quote, I started thinking that my top level friends, as much as I love them, weren't top level at all, not in the terms of the success that I wanted.  When that is the case, you have to become one of the top people in your circle and begin to adopt that mentality. 

I like to think that in an environment that tries to consistently stifle you or turn you into the next bad apple, you can be the one that rises out of the bunch and produces delicious fruit and bear seeds that produce more greatness. 

As you go through your days, and work toward your goals, continue to fight through the negativity and rise above your circumstances and surroundings.  Be the GOOD apple and commit to providing seeds for not only yourself, but for others too.

Until next time...keep the forward movement...

Every. Single. Thought.

Everyone has heard time and time again that "thoughts are things." We create our reality by the constant thoughts that we have.  Knowing this is one thing, applying it is another.  Within the last few weeks, I've had so much going on...and unfortunately, some of it wasn't good.  With a death in the family and another person falling to illness, I had a lot on my plate.  The thing about me is, I notice my funk.  I notice that I'm not as happy, and am turning to the dark and negative side.  The moment I realize that, I work on going back to the positive side, which is taking the moment to see the good in everything that happens.  With this in mind, I decided to do something about it. 

I chose to do an experiment on myself.  I chose to see what would happen if I captured my thoughts.  The experiment was to become active in every single moment of my life.  You live in every single moment, but you're not always active in that moment.  Being active is about making the conscious choice to react positively with everything that comes to you.  If you stop to think before you react, and choose to make a decision that points you in a good direction, it will give you the power over allowing your thoughts to create a negative response.  

For one week, I monitored my thinking and every time I had a thought that veered to the negative side, I stopped and found the positive thing.  I took long breaths, and decided not to be mad.  I decided to focus on the things I had and the wonderful opportunities I was being blessed with vs. the things I didn't have and the opportunities I was upset over still having to wait for.  The more I did this, the more at peace I felt and the more empowered I was to know the control I have.  Since then, things have been smooth sailing, and not because there are no problems or shortcomings, but because I now rule over the negative instead of letting them rule me, my mindset, my attitude, and my future. 

Today, I urge you to take control of every. single. thought.  In doing that, you'll be controlling your life and your future. 

Until next time...keep the forward movement...