This morning, while surfing the web, I ran across this video. Now, I run across tons of videos on a daily basis, but a lot of them I ignore. For whatever reason (obviously meant to be), I felt compelled to view this one. I'm so glad that I did. This man discussed the importance of the your sacrifice in obtaining success and this video put a mirror up to my actions. So many of us want to be successful, but few of us actually go to the extremes that it takes to obtain it. You get tired so you go to sleep. You have a bad day, so you take a 'break' and tell yourself that you'll work on it tomorrow...except tomorrow never comes. You come up with another 'bright idea' and start working on that...not realizing that A. you haven't finished what you started and B. your impulsive antics are the reason why you haven't been successful at anything. You say you're doing all you can, but you're not...and you know it. You allow your frustration to pull you away and allow you to find comfort in the very place that you are trying to escape.
After you view the video below, think about where you are in your quest for success. Are you doing enough? What can you do differently? I'm taking an inventory of myself and finding out that I'm not liking all of the things that I'm coming across. I need to do more...and you probably do too. The man in this video said it best: "You need to want success as much as you want to breathe," and I most certainly do.
In today's world and especially in the economy we live in, saving money is on top of everyone's list. With things in the shape they're in, even the richest of the rich are finding ways to cut corners. The mindset of most is "every little bit counts"....and it does. Lately, I've been thinking about how people have so many 'miscellaneous' funds that they have no clue where it goes. You only realize when your money is gone, and even then, you're wondering where it went off to. With this in mind, I've come up with a few tips that you can implement daily to help you guard and balance those runaway funds.
Tip #1:Brew your own coffee: Now, you have to understand, as much as it pains you to hear this, it pains me even worse to actually have to say it, but it's true. On average, Americans spend over $800 on coffee alone and this is at the bottom of the curve. This doesn't include if you actually get some food along with it. If you're a lover of the fancier drinks at Starbucks, then you're looking at spending over $1825! Wow! Think about it. What could you do with all of that money? It's easy to ignore it because everyday it's not in the form of a great lump sum, so it doesn't hurt as much. When you do the math, it's a completely different story.
Tip #2:Bring your lunch and learn to make your dinner. Food costs way more than we think it does. Five dollars here, 7 dollars there, adds up...and quickly. Before you know it, you spend an amount that could purchase you a substantial amount of groceries. Those groceries can save you from having to buy food everday and therefore save you money. Not to mention, it's a great bonus for your health as well.
Tip #3:Pick a day to shower yourself. Let's be real. Being an adult means responsibilities and responsibilities don't allow for many personal indulgent wants. What happens in going day after day without getting anything that you want, is that you start to suffer and crave those things regardless of the lack of necessity. People need some of their wants. That's just the way things are and there's no need to feel bad about that. The key is balance. When you deprive yourself of that, you become like a person on an insane diet. You go from eating barely anything to eating everything in sight and end up worse than you were before. Same things goes for spending. By choosing a day to treat yourself, you quench the thirst for your new "it-toy" and still stay on top of all that needs to be done. Do I hear a win-win?...yup, I think I do. :)
These tips sound simple, but getting yourself into the habit of NOT spending unnecessary funds, is actually pretty intense. When you do, however, you'll be in a better fiscal position. Below is a great video of Bob Proctor and his secret to wealth. It'll give you plenty of thoughts with your newly increased fiscal freedom! Enjoy...
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
I was sitting in church Sunday morning and during the sermon, something was mentioned about choices. I can't exactly remember the specifics, but it got my mind spinning. I started thinking of all the decisions I've made in the past, good and bad, and how each one, individually, catapulted me to where I am today. Oftentimes, we see where we are and if it's not in a good place, we blame it on life in general, but few of us really take the time to see that where we are now, is the direct reflection of all of the choices we've made. As I sat there, I started thinking of the good and progressive choices that I've made. I felt such pride in those choices and was happy that I made them. Then I began to think about the negative choices that I've made. I immediately whinced at the thought of them. Mentally, I tried to run away from them and made up award-winning reasons to excuse my actions. After I went through my mental rant, my sanity whispered "it's your fault. You made that choice, no matter what the options were." I rolled my eyes at that thought, but it was true....and I had to face that.
For the very first time, I took FULL responsibility for my choices. In the past, I told myself I did take responsibility, but I really didn't. I made myself believe that there was no better choice, but this time, I finally knew it was all me. I thought about the choices and actions I made in the past that got me the positive things that I had. I wouldn't have gotten those things if I had chosen to either do the opposite or nothing at all. Then, I traveled to the dark side and thought of the wrong decisions that took me to where I am. How much different would my life be if I hadn't made that choice? It's pointless to stress over that because A. I'll never know and B. there's nothing I can do to change that now. What I can change are the choices I make from here on out. If you are consistantly in the frame of mind that every single choice you make will determine your future, you'd choose more carefully. With that in mind, I think of the endless possibilities and doors that I will open as soon as my choices coincide with that path.
Think about your past choices. Are you happy with where you are? If you are, then that's wonderful, but a lot of people aren't. Sit and think about the things that you could have done differently. Do you see how they brought you to the place that you are? Now what are you going to do differently? Remember, the place that you're in now, is not the place that you have to be. You just have to make that personal, executive decision and go from there. I'll leave you with a few of my favorite quotes.
"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.”
"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
'There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.”
Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.”
If you're anything like me, you want to be everything to everyone. You bend over backwards to make sure that everyone is pleased. Whether it takes you away from your personal projects or dare I say sanity , you do it anyway. If you finally have a moment, where you feel like saying "no" or taking a break, you feel badly about the person(s) you aren't helping even though you're barely hanging on yourself. Your issues take a back seat and you go full force to assist everyone else in theirs, but when is enough, enough?
Whenever I feel like taking a "time out", I feel bad because I think in some way I'm being selfish, but while I feel that, my mind also says "you can't be of service to anyone if you're a mess yourself," and that puts things into perspective for me. In order to be the best me I can be, and be great for others, I must be great to myself, and sometimes that means taking the solitary time to figure things out. Whether it be through prayer, meditation, shutting your phone off, or going away somewhere, you must take the time to close yourself off to all things and people, and make sure you have yourself together....and if you don't, use the time to get yourself together.
The last few days, I've taken the time to think, focus, and pray. Those are the only things that I did, other than what I absolutely had to do, and it's been quite refreshing. It's helped me to push out the negative and focus on the positive. You see, taking a break isn't supposed to be hurtful or negative. It's supposed to be enlightening and refreshing. When you do it the right way, with the right intentions, it will refuel and catapult you into a better frame of mind and further directions.
Why do we fear things that we can't control? I'm literally sitting here on a flight and this is what comes to mind immediately for me after my most recent dramatic performance when we were having some turbulence. FYI, I LOVE to travel! I just love experiencing new places and even if it's not new, I love the brief getaway from my day-to-day. As much as I love to travel though, I'll admit that I'm not a fan of flying. Actually, I'm pretty scared of it. Because I have people to see and things to do,(lol) I take myself through the torture without thinking about it. A few minutes ago, I was grabbing whoever was sitting in 25D, and now I'm writing about it. After I finished my dramatic piece, award winning I might add (lol), stopped sweating, and returned to my regular breathing pattern, I started wondering why it is that we fear the very things we have absolutely no control over. Is it the lack of control or the possible outcome that we clearly don't want? Even though I know that this thought wouldn't make me feel any better, it didn't stop me from having it: if this plane really went down, what the hell could I possibly do to change that? The answer is NOTHING. That truth didn't do a thing for my racing heart, but it definetly spoke to my mind. Flying is scary for a lot of people so I know a lot you understand how I feel.
We can apply fear to many parts of our lives. You fear the possibility of so many things that it keeps you from fulfiling your God given destiny. A lot of the things that we fear are so infrequent, but we let the mere thought of them scare us away. What's worse is, it can and often does immobilize us. If you stop and think about how little contol you truly have over the inevitable, you start living your life with much more gusto and reach heights you never dreamed of. By overcoming fear, you'll find yourself more successful and find things less scary. Last year, I came across a website and the lady who it belonged to happened to be a public speaking coach. I've been told many times that I have the gift of gab and would be a great speaker, but believe it or not, I can be pretty shy. I started thinking of all the things that I wanted to accomplish and knew that speaking publically would be something I'd need to fall in love.....and so I did. I had to write an essay and send in a video explaining why I should be chosen. That was the part that made me uneasy, but I knew that I had nothing to lose so I entered and whaddya know, I won! I was sooooo excited and glad to be making steps toward improving myself. Below is my entry video.......
I'll let u finish laughing....done?....this was my last video 3 1/2 months later......
Not quite as humorous huh?, lol....that's because I conquered my fear! I didn't allow it or a possiblity of anything, especially something I had no control over, keep me from moving forward. Whether I tried it or not, the contest would've gone on with or without me. A smart someone would've reaped all that I had....luckily for me, I was that smart someone :). Not only did I increase my skillset, but I mastered it enough to be able to instruct others as well. That small step of faith and away from fear, turned into a gift that I can keep on giving.
Remember, you can control nothing outside of yourself, and even after a few 'spirits', you barely do that, lol. What you can control is your actions and reactions.....so do just that. Act out of faith and not out of fear.
A good friend of mine sent a link to me last night and I didn't see it until this morning. When I read this article, I couldn't helped but laugh, and not because it was funny, but because it was so true and I could completely identify with it. I'm going to make this short and sweet....I'm going to try at least, lol. Ladies, I know that we all have that one guy who is THAT GUY. We put up with things from him that we'd never thought we would or that we'd slay someone else for. Because he is the man you love, you put up with bulls***...and frankly, it's not fair. You love him though, so you give chance after chance, hoping that he finally gets it. Before you know it, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years. He's the only one you want to be with so you close yourself off to other men. You negatively dissect yourself to less than nothing because there just HAS to be something wrong with you, otherwise he'd be with you. You do whatever he likes and chooses him before yourself and in your mind, that's further proving how much you love him and what a catch you are, but he still hasn't caught you. Hell, he hasn't picked you up enough to be able to drop you. Inevitably, you have forgotten to put yourself in FIRST place.
My advice to you is to keep yourself open. It's not fair to close yourself off to possible suitors. No your feelings for that man don't go away, but you two aren't together and trust and believe that he isn't acting like you two are together either, so you need to do the same. I understand your natural desire to act 'committed' and only see him, but do your best to remain open. The last few weeks, I've thought of my past relationships and someone special and although I love that man, I'm not committed to him or anyone else and gave myself the same advice....and did just that.
Regardless of your feelings for someone, if nothing has changed, (i.e. the status of the two of you together), then you have to change. It doesn't diminish your feelings for him or is in any way reflective of how you feel, but it shows that you acknowledge the reality and are now choosing YOU instead of him. If you're meant to be with him, God will mend that relationship in due time, and in your season of love, but until then, DO YOU. The last few weeks, allowing myself to be courted has reminded me of my great qualities that I've forgotten. It reminded me of how much I was wanted. There was no beating around the bush or me "guestimating" how they felt, because they told me. At the beginning, men will tell you in order to ensure that they get you, but oftentimes, it dissipates and you rarely hear it. It was weird because this amazing and phenomenol woman that was being described was ME! It revitalized me and my thoughts of who I am... and it felt damn good!
There's a great article on making yourself a "First Place Girl" (Click here to read this FAB article!)and this is what I read this morning that prompted me to write this entry. You may not be coming in last, but if the man you love isn't putting you first, for whatever reason, you may as well be last because almost doesn't count. One of my favorite quotes is "Love is just the beginning and love is not enough." If you take the time to really understand this quote, you'll know exactly what it means. Think of highly of yourself and act accordingly. Eventually, you'll get that first place ribbon for the prize that you are.
Timing is key. How many times have you heard this? At some point or another in life, you are destined to hear that it's not the right time. The right time for what you ask?....for what you so desperately want. It's weird how the things that you desire the most, are the ones that takes the longest to come to you...if they come at all. I usually can hear the voice of my parents, and the elders of my family when I discuss my disdain for the very things that I want and don't have, and it usually says "it's not your time yet." In the midst of my frustration, I refuse to understand it, even though I know it makes sense. In the last few weeks, there have been little things that I didn't get exactly when I wanted and I'm so grateful.
Almost a month ago, I signed up for an event. Every time I tried to solidify those plans, something came up. It really started to irritate me because things kept getting in the way of me committing to that event. I didn't know it then, but a few weeks later, I ended up purchasing a ticket out of state for another engagement that was more important. I was so happy that I hadn't committed to that event because it would've made things more difficult for me. It just wasn't the right TIME....
Last week, I purchased a new bed. I was also making plans to go to Mexico. I found a great deal on a luxury hotel and immediately wanted to book it. "A deal like this won't last longer than a minute," I said to myself, so I reached for my wallet. To my surprise and terror, my card was missing. I totally lost it, lol. I've never lost my bank card before, so I panicked. I called, cancelled it, and ordered a new one. Once again, I found myself in a frustrated position because I wouldn't be able to get the hotel that day as I planned earlier. For the rest of the day and night, I kept thinking of how I'd book my hotel regardless. The very next day, a couple of friends who initially said they would go, asked me if I could push back the trip a few months. Of course I obliged and it made more sense. Sometimes, I can be a little impulsive and impatient :)...like I said earlier...I want it NOW, so I went off of what I was thinking at the moment. After I agreed, I thought to myself "thank God I didn't book that resort!" Because of the low rate, it would've been NON-REFUNDABLE!!!! Once again, the feeling of gratitude crept across my spirit and I was so happy that I didn't just toss that money away. It just wasn't the right TIME.....
I'm a sucker for technology. I'm a blackberry feen but when the latest iphone came out with face talk, I was sold. Though it was really hard, I'd come to terms with ending my relationship with my beloved blackberry. I tried and failed THREE times when I went to pre-purchase it on the apple website. I called AT&T several times, never got through, and within one day of the pre-purchase launch, they shut their website down to any sales for that phone. I decided to leave it alone. I figured, there were my signs as to why I should wait, but everytime I heard about it, I tried again. Finally, after two weeks, I gave up and figured I'd let them get all the kinks out and then purchase it in a few months. A few days ago, my brother called to rub it in my face how fabulous and superior his phone was to mine. That fueled my desire to ignore all the other signs and purchase it later on this week. On my drive home yesterday, I happened to check an email and low and behold, it was about my beloved iphone to be and.....it's RE-CALL! I literally laughed out loud. God must've been looking down at me, shaking his head, and saying "she is soooooo hard-headed." Once again, I was shown that it clearly was not the time for me to purchase that phone and with that, I saved over $300. Eventually, I will purchase it, but it just wasn't the right TIME...
My best friend and another very close friend of mine lost their parents within the last year. Before all of that happened, they were making plans to move. You get to an age where you really need to start making adult moves which sometimes includes leaving your family and starting over in a new place. For some reason, no matter how much they wanted and planned to leave, it never quite worked out for them and now they and I know. They had to be there to spend the last precious moments with their loved ones. They had to share laughs, stories, words of encouragement, and prayers. They had to be there to bury them. Coincidentally, they are both firstborns and me being a firstborn, understands all too well, the responsibility that we hold. God allowed them to be a part of the last moments of lives that had formed them into the strong women that they are. So even though, they were angry in the fact that things weren't going the way they wanted, it went exactly the way it needed to go. Any earlier than that just wasn't the right TIME:
Whether it be a smaller situation like not getting a new phone or missing a trip, to a bigger one like being with your perfect mate or sharing the last few moments with a loved one, everything happens at the PERFECT TIME....and it's not usually on your schedule. All of the time, it's on God's time table and it's never at the wrong time. Hindsight it 20/20 and you can see and understand things clearly. The problem is that you're trying to see and understand while you're in the midst of things and for the most part, that is impossible. In your times of frustration, impatience, and uncertainty, God's preparing you for whatever you desire. Whether we admit it or know it, we're not always prepared for what we think we are. Rather than receiving it whether it be a job, money, goal, or relationship, it's better that we get it when we are truly prepared so that we don't sabotage the gift in any form.
Know and truly believe that YOUR TIME IS COMING! Enjoy the journey and take everything you need out of the preparation process. If you do that, everything will fall into place because TIMING IS EVERYTHING.
Certified Life Coach. Editor for Fearless Magazine. Life Coach Contributor for Hope for Women Magazine. Contributor for www.thefreshxpress.com. Lover of God. Driven. Intelligent. Fashionista. Motivated. Disciplined. Beautiful. Visionary. Author. Public Speaker. Entrepreneur. Successful....these are some of the things that describe me. I am all about moving forward and progressing toward achieving all that my heart desires. I believe in embracing all of my talents and not locking in to one aspect of my interests. Feel free to send me a message on specifics of what I do and projects that I am available for. Be blessed.
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